Adressing the Skirt Issue

**Bible quotes taken from NIV unless stated otherwise**

I have a comment on the post about dressing the baby:

Anonymous said...

request lodged for clarification of reasoning: not wearing pants.

expressions of gratitude for same tendered.

Since I only know one person who talks like that, I know who posted it, but since she's chosen to remain anonymous, I'll not out her. I will give the clarification requested however.

The bible clearly tells us that we are to dress modestly:

1 Timothy 2(9-10)

9I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.

Lets have a look at modesty.

From Wikipedia:

Modesty is most often rendered as humility, shyness, or simplicity. The general principles of modesty include:

• Avoiding attracting attention to oneself by moderating one's actions or appearance;
• Downplaying one's accomplishments (see humility);
• Avoiding insincere self-abasement through false or sham modesty, which is a form of boasting.

and:

Standards of modesty usually discourage the non-essential exposure of the human body. This applies to the bare skin, hair and undergarments, and especially to intimate parts. The standards not only call for the covering of parts of the body, but also obscuring their shape, by means of suitable clothing. There are also standards covering the changing of clothes (such as on a beach), the closing or locking of the door when changing or taking a shower, etc..

For me, dressing modestly means keeping myself covered, to a certain degree. Not "showing off the goods" as it were.

• I aim to dress neatly, to look nice - not to have people (men especially) staring at me because my bust is about to fall out the top of my shirt, or the entire world can see what colour underwear I have on.
  
• I do not wear sleeveless tops, because I feel uncomfortable with everyone seeing my arms like that. I also rarely wear short-sleeved tops, reserving them for very hot days.
  
• If I feel the neckline on a top is too low, I wear a singlet underneath. Too low means my bra is showing, my cleavage is showing, or I would simply feel uncomfortable if someone was staring there (then again I would feel uncomfortable if someone was staring anywhere for extended periods of time, wondering what was wrong with me.. but you get the point). I have a few tops that fit this criteria, but are otherwise fine, so I just toss a singlet underneath.
  
• I avoid button-up shirts, because I cannot find any that fit me well. If they fit properly over the bust, the waist is far too big and I look frumpy. If they fit at the waist, the buttons pop over the bust and I look like a tart. Neither fits my aim of "neat and nice".
• I do wear fitted tops. Loose and baggy makes me look and feel frumpy, and does not fit in with "neat". Note there is a difference between "fitted" and "tight". If everyone can see whether my bra is embroidered or not, precisely where my belly button is, and all the flab from having 2 children, thats tight. If people can see where my waist is, and I do not look like I've lost weight but never bothered to buy smaller clothes, thats fitted.
• I do not wear pants. Every pair of pants I've ever tried on is too tight in the front and too loose in the back. There may be some out there that fit me properly, but I probably can't afford them. I've also never found a top that looks nice when standing, but is long enough to cover any waistband-falling-down in the back when sitting. Other people can pull of the long top look, I just look like an idiot. If that wasn't enough, baggy pants look stupid on me, and fitted ones just scream at the world to stare at my butt. Not want I want.
  
• Skirts are A-line. Not only does a tight skirt still scream at the world to stare at my butt, I just look plain stupid. Everyone can see what kind of underwear I have on, and the not-so-slimness of my legs, also I have broad hips and end up looking a very peculiar shape. An A-line skirt is flattering on almost everyone, can easily be dressed up or down depending on what you wear with it, and they seem to be in fashion at the moment, so they're easy enough to find.
  
• Skirts come to below the knee. The longer the skirt, the less chance of it blowing up and showing things you didn't want shown. The knee also provides a handy reference point. If you don't have a set length, its a lot easier to say "Well, I don't think thats as long as what I usually wear, but its probably OK," and before you know it, you're wearing a glorified belt.
• A slip is worn under un-lined skirts. I have a few skirts that are unlined. One is a nice chocolate linen, that just happens to let the light shine through. A skirt is not very modest if everyone can see everything through it when I walk past a light. I have another, thicker, skirt, that is unfortunately pale enough that everyone can see the colour of my underwear. A slip comes in handy here. A slip is also handy for very windy days. my slips are all tighter fitting that my skirts, and no matter how much my skirt blows up, the slip will not. I do not always wear a slip because of modesty however. I have a lovely, thick, dark brown corduroy skirt that certainly doesn't need a slip to be modest - but the seams make my legs itch.
  

Its not just about the clothes though. Remember, modesty is also "Avoiding attracting attention to oneself by moderating one's actions or appearance". To this end, I do not wear a lot of jewellery. I wear my wedding and engagement rings, a necklace my husband gave me when he proposed, and earrings to match my clothes. Occasionally, I wear a necklace to match the earrings. This is not because of the "gold or pearls" bit. I do not believe this instructions bars us from jewellery. I do believe that too much or too flashy jewellery can draw attention to us, undoing any modesty our clothes may display. If I'm wearing 17 gold chains and fluro-pink earrings the size of dinner plates, I am not dressed modestly, even if I'm wearing a burqa. (I also do not wear a lot of bright colours. This is not so much about modesty as it is about comfort. I do not feel comfortable, or look good, in bright colours. I look good in brown, so you'll find a lot of it in my wardrobe.)

Back to skirts. A lot of people reference Deuteronomy 22 (5) as a reason not to wear pants.

5 A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the LORD your God detests anyone who does this.

I don't. For a start, there is too much difference between clothing in different cultures to simply say "Pants are boys clothes. Skirts are girls clothes." Fijian men wear a garment that is, to all intents and purposes, a skirt. (So do some Scots.) Even in european culture, trousers are a relatively recent innovation. Yes, in recent times, men have worn pants while women wear skirts, but prior to that, everyone wore dress-like garments. Can we therefor say women shouldn't wear dresses because men used to? Of course not. Its silly. Women now wear pants. Pants that are made specifically for women. They are women's clothing, like it or not. That doesn't make them modest, or feminine, but it does negate the "girls clothes/boys clothes" argument. Clothing is always changing, and I do not think "pants are boy's clothes" is a reasonable argument. "Pants reveal more of a woman's body-shape than is modest" however, is a reasonable argument, and its my reason.