Almost there. Almost made it. Just another couple days, and we'll be technically Full Term. Not that anyone would panic if I went into labour today, I'm sure. Two days, at this stage of the game, is not going to make much of a difference. A month ago it would, but now, not so much.
I'm tired. I'm cranky. My hands and feet are puffy. I ache all over. I'm disinterested in food. And I've reached that point in the pregnancy. You know the one. The point of Get This Thing Out ALREADY. Most mothers who make it to full term get there.
For some it comes after 36 hours of labour, at which point the doctors usually agree, and start taking steps - generally toward a c-section.
For some, usually when prior children have come early, it happens as soon as that due date rolls around.
Some reach that point after some sort of complication crops up. High blood pressure, or PUPPS, or extremely hot weather, or any of myriad other things seemingly designed purely to make a pregnant woman's life uncomfortable.
Then there are those who never reach it, whose babies are desperate to come out early, and who spend weeks or months thinking Keep-It-In, Keep-It-In, Keep-It-In, hoping the baby will stay in just one more month, or week, or even day, getting stronger and stronger, and therefor be more likely to be healthy once out.
Last time round, I reached that point at either 39 or 40.5 weeks, depending on which due date you go by. My blood pressure was unstable, PUPPS was in full force, I wasn't sleeping, and I couldn't even step into or out of the shower (combined shower/bath, VERY DEEP bathtub) on my own. I wanted it out, and I wanted it out NOW. They made me wait another week.
Apart from the weather, nothing has been too bad this time. My blood pressure has stayed at a reasonable point, apart from a couple of high readings to begin with. Gestational Diabetes has not descended upon me (not that it did last time, but there's always the chance). PUPPS has (so far) not made an appearance, and apparently it is unlikely to. The bathtub is causing some difficulties, and sleep is a bit of a challenge. If I lie on my left side, there's a patch of skin on my leg that starts tingling and then it feels like I'm being skinned, and if I lie on my right side, my leg collapses when I stand up. Generally however, things this time are better.
So why do I want to Get This Thing Out ALREADY? Because people won't stop bugging me. Every time I wince, my husband thinks I'm going into labour. Every time I call my mother, she thinks the baby has come. Every time I talk to my sister, she asks if it's come yet (it's like she really thinks we're going to just not tell her for a week or something). I can cope with all the "How are you doing/feeling?" I understand. People are interested. That doesn't bother me. But honestly.
My whole body aches. I will occasionally wince when I move. This does not mean I am going into labour RIGHT NOW HUSBAND AND YOU MUST TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL. Nor does every phone call to my mother mean the baby is here. She lives a long way away. Am I not supposed to talk to her between now and when I am holding the child?
This has been happening for at least a week, and it's getting on my nerves. Yes, the baby has dropped. Twice. Once to basketball-under-shirt point, and then even further. Yes, this is a good indication that things are progressing. Yes, I am now having uncomfortable contractions almost every day. My body is practicing. It's normal. But the sprog could hold on for another 4 weeks yet.
I want my baby to stay safe and snug for as long as it needs, but honestly, I also want to just Get This Thing Out ALREADY!
Showing posts with label pregnancy and other tiring things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy and other tiring things. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 January 2009
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
it gets worse
its spread. no longer am i content with re-arranging the house, now im cooking extra too. is this going to continue till spaceghost is born? how do i have the energy to cook extra, but not to stay awake to watch tv??
on an up note, mini-ultrasound today to check head position, well and truly head down. being so far along, its unlikely it will turn breech, though not impossible. i'll take unlikely though. its been pointing the right way for a while, and seems quite comfortable.. too comfortable almost, when it gets the hiccups.
on the other hand, i'm not sure how much longer its going to stay in... im getting occasional almost-painful contractions. ive been having the painless variety for a while - stomach feels hard and tight for a few seconds then goes soft again - though its sometimes hard to tell if its a contraction or merely the baby pushing.. they feel pretty similar if spaceghost is in the middle nad not being all pointy off to one side. but these ones... if im sitting too upright (rather than half lying down), or curled over too much lying down, its very uncomfortable, and just when it reaches the point that i think 'does that actually hurt?' it stops. i never experienced anything like this with critterbug, so i'm not sure what it means. obviously my body is preparing for sprog-arrival, but does the fact that its so... obvious mean its closer than i think? its supposed to stay in for at least 2 more weeks, and id really rather it didnt come this early.
not fun.
on an up note, mini-ultrasound today to check head position, well and truly head down. being so far along, its unlikely it will turn breech, though not impossible. i'll take unlikely though. its been pointing the right way for a while, and seems quite comfortable.. too comfortable almost, when it gets the hiccups.
on the other hand, i'm not sure how much longer its going to stay in... im getting occasional almost-painful contractions. ive been having the painless variety for a while - stomach feels hard and tight for a few seconds then goes soft again - though its sometimes hard to tell if its a contraction or merely the baby pushing.. they feel pretty similar if spaceghost is in the middle nad not being all pointy off to one side. but these ones... if im sitting too upright (rather than half lying down), or curled over too much lying down, its very uncomfortable, and just when it reaches the point that i think 'does that actually hurt?' it stops. i never experienced anything like this with critterbug, so i'm not sure what it means. obviously my body is preparing for sprog-arrival, but does the fact that its so... obvious mean its closer than i think? its supposed to stay in for at least 2 more weeks, and id really rather it didnt come this early.
not fun.
Monday, 19 January 2009
HELP!! I'VE STARTED NESTING!! act 1: the linen closet. scene 1: the mess
spaceghost is due to be met sometime in the next 2-6 weeks. this is slightly terrifying, very awe-inspiring, and is bringing out my non-existent cleaning instincts.
this would be ok if it translated into mopping the floors, washing the clothes, or even re-organising the pantry.
but no.
i want to re-arrange the entire house.
partly this is necessity. theres a lot of stuff in the house that needs to GO, and we really do need to re-arrange some things to all the furniture fits.
but for some reason, the most pressing thing in my mind is the linen closet. it does desperately need clearing out though, so this might end up being A Good Thing.
most people have a linen closet of some sort. a cupboard somewhere that is full of sheets and towels and table linens. ours is next to the bathroom, and since there is almost no cupboard space IN the bathroom, it also contains things like toilet paper, tissues, and feminine products.
it is a decent size, buuuuuuuuut only the middle panel is a door, which means theres a lot of stuff hidden around the corners thats hard to reach. and please ignore the colour.. my mother picked it out nearly 10 years ago. it will be re-painted (probably white) sometime in the hopefully not too distant future.
once the doors are opened however, we see that in this house, that decent size is NOT BIG ENOUGH. i come from a family of packrats. i turned 26 last year, and we still have terry-towel nappies (diapers) that my mother used ON ME WHEN I WAS BORN.
see that shelf of towels? remember what i said about there being more space either side of the door? ALSO PACKED FULL OF TOWELS. there are no sheets there. no tablecloths, no boxes of tissues, no more toilet paper (i stock up when its cheap. that toilet paper goes all the way to the edge wall). JUST TOWELS. it is an absolute nightmare trying to get anything out, or put anything in, or find the towels we need. some of those are probably 20 years old. some of them havent been used for at least 10 years. packrats, i tell you. as well as the big bath towels you can see, there are also teatowels and face cloths hidden in there. i can never find them. im not even sure what they look like anymore.
you may be thinking the top shelf looks comparatively empty. i cleared it out a while ago, and threw away, among other things, boxes of tampons bought in 1993. there is now nothing over a year old up there, and most of what IS up there is toilet paper and tissues, stocked up when cheap.
other than a hot water bottle and a blanket, im really not too sure whats on the bottom shelf. there are some more blankets, probably a doona or two, and possibly a tarp. i think there was some more hot water bottles? and since its my mothers house, sheets. i dread looking for things on the bottom shelf, because everything down there is so bulky. its nearly as hard to get anything out as the towel shelf, and harder to make them fit back in again.
and before someone wonders why we need so many blankets, let me assure you, THAT IS NOT ALL. we also have a blanket box that is so full it wont even close. and another blanket in my room because i cant find room for it anywhere else (although with the crazy weather the past week we've actually been using it), and 2-3 kid size blankets in the kid's room. oh and another doona or three in my mother's wardrobe. dont ask. i dont. it makes my head hurt.
again, you may be wondering at the relative emptiness of the next shelf up - where you can see yet another blanket, by the way - containing, as it does, only one layer of things. well i forgot to take a photo before i cleared out that shelf. i took everything out, and put back only tablecloths/napkins, one set of sheets, and the pillowcases that got washed without their matching sheets. then i shoved the cloth nappies in the corner while we waited for the new drawers/change table to be delivered. but do not fear!! for your eye-gouging pleasure, i took a photo of the pile of sheets that used to be in there, and are currently sitting in my mothers room, so i can ask her when she gets here on the weekend if she reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally needs them all, and which ones can be safely thrown away.
there are un-attached pillowcases. there's a queen sized doona cover with only 3 pillowcases. there are sheets so stained i wouldnt use them as an underlay. i understand the need for spare sheets. my bed has 3 sets - two lovely silky-feeling lightweight summer sets, and a totally ridiculously luxuriant 1000 thread count set that i got mega-super-cheap. the kid's bed has three sets (two simply wasnt enough when toilet training). the baby will have a few, because i know from experience that 2 is not enough for a baby. but there are at least 5 doona-cover sets in there, and only one bed with a doona. which has another set on it. there are also at least 3 single sheet sets, and no single beds in the house.
i dont have much energy these days, and i have a million other things to do besides my nesting-clearout, but i will be posting pictures of the progress as i finally get this mess sorted out.
wish me luck!!
this would be ok if it translated into mopping the floors, washing the clothes, or even re-organising the pantry.
but no.
i want to re-arrange the entire house.
partly this is necessity. theres a lot of stuff in the house that needs to GO, and we really do need to re-arrange some things to all the furniture fits.
but for some reason, the most pressing thing in my mind is the linen closet. it does desperately need clearing out though, so this might end up being A Good Thing.
most people have a linen closet of some sort. a cupboard somewhere that is full of sheets and towels and table linens. ours is next to the bathroom, and since there is almost no cupboard space IN the bathroom, it also contains things like toilet paper, tissues, and feminine products.it is a decent size, buuuuuuuuut only the middle panel is a door, which means theres a lot of stuff hidden around the corners thats hard to reach. and please ignore the colour.. my mother picked it out nearly 10 years ago. it will be re-painted (probably white) sometime in the hopefully not too distant future.
once the doors are opened however, we see that in this house, that decent size is NOT BIG ENOUGH. i come from a family of packrats. i turned 26 last year, and we still have terry-towel nappies (diapers) that my mother used ON ME WHEN I WAS BORN.see that shelf of towels? remember what i said about there being more space either side of the door? ALSO PACKED FULL OF TOWELS. there are no sheets there. no tablecloths, no boxes of tissues, no more toilet paper (i stock up when its cheap. that toilet paper goes all the way to the edge wall). JUST TOWELS. it is an absolute nightmare trying to get anything out, or put anything in, or find the towels we need. some of those are probably 20 years old. some of them havent been used for at least 10 years. packrats, i tell you. as well as the big bath towels you can see, there are also teatowels and face cloths hidden in there. i can never find them. im not even sure what they look like anymore.
you may be thinking the top shelf looks comparatively empty. i cleared it out a while ago, and threw away, among other things, boxes of tampons bought in 1993. there is now nothing over a year old up there, and most of what IS up there is toilet paper and tissues, stocked up when cheap.
other than a hot water bottle and a blanket, im really not too sure whats on the bottom shelf. there are some more blankets, probably a doona or two, and possibly a tarp. i think there was some more hot water bottles? and since its my mothers house, sheets. i dread looking for things on the bottom shelf, because everything down there is so bulky. its nearly as hard to get anything out as the towel shelf, and harder to make them fit back in again.and before someone wonders why we need so many blankets, let me assure you, THAT IS NOT ALL. we also have a blanket box that is so full it wont even close. and another blanket in my room because i cant find room for it anywhere else (although with the crazy weather the past week we've actually been using it), and 2-3 kid size blankets in the kid's room. oh and another doona or three in my mother's wardrobe. dont ask. i dont. it makes my head hurt.
again, you may be wondering at the relative emptiness of the next shelf up - where you can see yet another blanket, by the way - containing, as it does, only one layer of things. well i forgot to take a photo before i cleared out that shelf. i took everything out, and put back only tablecloths/napkins, one set of sheets, and the pillowcases that got washed without their matching sheets. then i shoved the cloth nappies in the corner while we waited for the new drawers/change table to be delivered. but do not fear!! for your eye-gouging pleasure, i took a photo of the pile of sheets that used to be in there, and are currently sitting in my mothers room, so i can ask her when she gets here on the weekend if she reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally needs them all, and which ones can be safely thrown away.
TADA!!!!!!
ALLLLLLLLLLL those sheets where on that one shelf. all of them. none came from the surrounding shelves. this is why i can never find anything. i discovered pillowcases my sister and i used before we were in bunk beds. which means they're at least 15 years old. i discovered sheets i'd never seen before. i found a fitted sheet im not even going to bother to ask about because the elastic disintegrated when i opened it to fold it neatly.
there are un-attached pillowcases. there's a queen sized doona cover with only 3 pillowcases. there are sheets so stained i wouldnt use them as an underlay. i understand the need for spare sheets. my bed has 3 sets - two lovely silky-feeling lightweight summer sets, and a totally ridiculously luxuriant 1000 thread count set that i got mega-super-cheap. the kid's bed has three sets (two simply wasnt enough when toilet training). the baby will have a few, because i know from experience that 2 is not enough for a baby. but there are at least 5 doona-cover sets in there, and only one bed with a doona. which has another set on it. there are also at least 3 single sheet sets, and no single beds in the house.
i dont have much energy these days, and i have a million other things to do besides my nesting-clearout, but i will be posting pictures of the progress as i finally get this mess sorted out.
wish me luck!!
Monday, 5 January 2009
thoughts are running round my head too fast
ive been sitting here watching my stomach jump and bounce and jerk around for the past hour or so, as my husband watches top gear on the TV. i dont know why (maybe it likes stir fry?) but the baby has been excessively bouncy this evening. and it is all on the right side of my stomach.
seriously.
i feels like theres a bowling ball in my stomach, but only on the right. the left side is all squishy and empty. there is no baby there. its actually rather uncomfortable, and i wish it would move. i mean.. it IS moving, rather excessively, actually, but i wish it would move out of the way.
at this stage with my critterbug, i was incredibly uncomfortable, and very swollen. but i dont think i was in as much pain as i am this time round. i dont remember my back being this bad (after we put planks under the mattress - 40yr old cast iron bed with springs as support is NOT good support), and i dont remember my hips being so sore. ive put on a lot less weight this time round - 10kg so far, about 25 with critter, although i lost 11 in the week after he was born, since a lot of it was me being swollen - and ive been a lot less sick, with morning sickness subsiding after about 3-4 months, instead of continuing, albeit rather mildly, the whole way through.
being so close to babytime, im beginning to wonder what else is going to be different, or similar. will labour feel like hours of excessive period pain again, with no discernible worsening and lessening? (seriously.. i want to know what contractions are supposed to feel like, because i was just in pain the whole time till the baby popped out. i have no idea how to time something that doesnt give you any indication its happening.)
will i tear again? will i hemorrhage again? will anything go wrong, and will i experience a c-section?
will spaceghost be bigger, or smaller than critter? will it stare at me the way critter did? will it be as squeaky?
will i have the same troubles breastfeeding? will i be afraid to bathe it for the first few months again? will i sink so low i dont care when it cries? will i need medication again? will i notice?
will i remember enough to know when 'dry skin' is actually 'eczema'? will i notice allergy signs? will i finally figure out the 'different cries'?
WILL I REMEMBER HOW TO FOLD A NAPPY?????????
seriously.
i feels like theres a bowling ball in my stomach, but only on the right. the left side is all squishy and empty. there is no baby there. its actually rather uncomfortable, and i wish it would move. i mean.. it IS moving, rather excessively, actually, but i wish it would move out of the way.
at this stage with my critterbug, i was incredibly uncomfortable, and very swollen. but i dont think i was in as much pain as i am this time round. i dont remember my back being this bad (after we put planks under the mattress - 40yr old cast iron bed with springs as support is NOT good support), and i dont remember my hips being so sore. ive put on a lot less weight this time round - 10kg so far, about 25 with critter, although i lost 11 in the week after he was born, since a lot of it was me being swollen - and ive been a lot less sick, with morning sickness subsiding after about 3-4 months, instead of continuing, albeit rather mildly, the whole way through.
being so close to babytime, im beginning to wonder what else is going to be different, or similar. will labour feel like hours of excessive period pain again, with no discernible worsening and lessening? (seriously.. i want to know what contractions are supposed to feel like, because i was just in pain the whole time till the baby popped out. i have no idea how to time something that doesnt give you any indication its happening.)
will i tear again? will i hemorrhage again? will anything go wrong, and will i experience a c-section?
will spaceghost be bigger, or smaller than critter? will it stare at me the way critter did? will it be as squeaky?
will i have the same troubles breastfeeding? will i be afraid to bathe it for the first few months again? will i sink so low i dont care when it cries? will i need medication again? will i notice?
will i remember enough to know when 'dry skin' is actually 'eczema'? will i notice allergy signs? will i finally figure out the 'different cries'?
WILL I REMEMBER HOW TO FOLD A NAPPY?????????
Sunday, 4 January 2009
blahdiblah
ive been feeling spectacularly BLAH recently. so much so that i cant really think straight. partly this is caused by the dreaded baby-brain (anywhere from 4-8 weeks left. i refuse to let it come before 38 weeks), partly its the heat. I DONT LIKE THE HEAT. and the baby is making it all worse.
i lie in bed at night, all the sheets tossed off, wondering if i should go get some ice cubes to cool myself off, and hubby is curled up tightly next to me, sheet AND blanket pulled up to his neck, COLD.
this morning, he was wondering whether he ought to put on long pants instead of shorts, and i was wondering if i should take a fan with me to church, or whether i should just stay home and sit in a bathtub full of icecubes for a few hours.
we have an airconditioner in the house, but i feel bad using it when he's obviously cold - if it was actually hot id be fine, but evidently my heat regulating abilities are going wildly haywire.
and it wont be helped much by going to bed with 6 pillows tonight in an effort to keep my feet up and the swelling down.
only a few more weeks to go, and ill be so distracted by the little screaming wriggler i wont even notice.
only a few more weeks.
i lie in bed at night, all the sheets tossed off, wondering if i should go get some ice cubes to cool myself off, and hubby is curled up tightly next to me, sheet AND blanket pulled up to his neck, COLD.
this morning, he was wondering whether he ought to put on long pants instead of shorts, and i was wondering if i should take a fan with me to church, or whether i should just stay home and sit in a bathtub full of icecubes for a few hours.
we have an airconditioner in the house, but i feel bad using it when he's obviously cold - if it was actually hot id be fine, but evidently my heat regulating abilities are going wildly haywire.
and it wont be helped much by going to bed with 6 pillows tonight in an effort to keep my feet up and the swelling down.
only a few more weeks to go, and ill be so distracted by the little screaming wriggler i wont even notice.
only a few more weeks.
Wednesday, 10 December 2008
its that time of year again
i need to make an appointment with my hairdresser. ive been putting it off. i cant just let my hair go raggedy for ever, but im dreading seeing her again. because its nearly christmas.
i havent been feeling so great the past few weeks. ive been snapping at people a lot, and ive been having trouble sleeping. i feel sad for no reason, and i just lack the motivation to DO anything. i was wondering if post natal depression had kicked in early, and then i realised. its nearly christmas.
christmas ahs always been a time of anticipation and excitement for me. the one time of year i WANT to get up a little earlier than usual, so the day lasts longer. seeing peoples faces as they unwrap the presents ive found for them. seeing their faces when THEY see how much i enjoy the presents theyve got for me. the beautiful heart-lifting christmas church service. TURKEY DINNER (i love turkey. id eat it all year). seeing family happy and joyful (for the most part) and the usually less antagonism than other get-togethers. and recently, my son, my little critterbug, so caught up in the excitement of things he doesnt quite understand yet, and the amazing crash and burn afterwards.
until last year. last year was a struggle. i dont remember much of christmas day. a few snippets of getting presents, and i think i managed to spill gravy on my clean white skirt.. the rest is a blur. there was something missing last year, and its still missing now. the addition of my giant belly is helping fill the void, but there will be a gap in my christmas for ever, i think. smaller each year perhaps, but there none the less.
last april i lost a baby. it would have been due around christmas day. last year, the baby was all i could think about. even when we painted critterbug's room that september, the excitement so evident in him (his own blue room! that he painted! and a BED!! with PIRATES ON THE SHEETS!!!!!!!!) wasnt enough to drown out the little voice in my head reminding me that there should have been a space left in the room for a cot, and a new set of drawers slowly being filled with baby clothes, waiting for december and the new baby.
and to top it all off, my hairdresser's first child was born last december. within a week or so of when i suspect i was due. every time i saw her, glowing and smiling and expanding, my heart broke a little. i was so happy for her, and so sad for me. and i was so angry at God. she hadnt wanted the baby, didnt think she was ready yet. she was taking precautions. she had even taken the morning after pill, and the baby had still stuck. why hadnt mine? what had gone wrong? why did she get to have a baby, and i only got to loose one?
im not so angry anymore, although it still hurts. if i had had that baby, i wouldnt be having this one. i would still be feeding the baby, and my baby-making-abilities last time didnt kick back in until the kid was about 15 months old (that surprised the doctor) - three months after he stopped feeding. theres also my husband. the chances of him agreeing to a third are very very slim. (not that he really agreed to this one. we have a habit of accidental conception.)
but seeing my hairdresser still hurts. seeing photos of her son, how big he is, how much hes growing. all the things i didnt get to see with mine. and seeing her now is going to be very difficult. her son turns one soon. mine would be having a birthday soon too. there should be extra presents under the tree in the other room. there should be extra time management needed to actually get my hair done.
its not as hard as last year. and next year will be easier again. spaceghost will be taking up most of my attention, i'm sure. and the year after that, there will be something else to fill a little of the gap.
but christmas will always be a little empty. now i really need those christmas day services i love so much.
i havent been feeling so great the past few weeks. ive been snapping at people a lot, and ive been having trouble sleeping. i feel sad for no reason, and i just lack the motivation to DO anything. i was wondering if post natal depression had kicked in early, and then i realised. its nearly christmas.
christmas ahs always been a time of anticipation and excitement for me. the one time of year i WANT to get up a little earlier than usual, so the day lasts longer. seeing peoples faces as they unwrap the presents ive found for them. seeing their faces when THEY see how much i enjoy the presents theyve got for me. the beautiful heart-lifting christmas church service. TURKEY DINNER (i love turkey. id eat it all year). seeing family happy and joyful (for the most part) and the usually less antagonism than other get-togethers. and recently, my son, my little critterbug, so caught up in the excitement of things he doesnt quite understand yet, and the amazing crash and burn afterwards.
until last year. last year was a struggle. i dont remember much of christmas day. a few snippets of getting presents, and i think i managed to spill gravy on my clean white skirt.. the rest is a blur. there was something missing last year, and its still missing now. the addition of my giant belly is helping fill the void, but there will be a gap in my christmas for ever, i think. smaller each year perhaps, but there none the less.
last april i lost a baby. it would have been due around christmas day. last year, the baby was all i could think about. even when we painted critterbug's room that september, the excitement so evident in him (his own blue room! that he painted! and a BED!! with PIRATES ON THE SHEETS!!!!!!!!) wasnt enough to drown out the little voice in my head reminding me that there should have been a space left in the room for a cot, and a new set of drawers slowly being filled with baby clothes, waiting for december and the new baby.
and to top it all off, my hairdresser's first child was born last december. within a week or so of when i suspect i was due. every time i saw her, glowing and smiling and expanding, my heart broke a little. i was so happy for her, and so sad for me. and i was so angry at God. she hadnt wanted the baby, didnt think she was ready yet. she was taking precautions. she had even taken the morning after pill, and the baby had still stuck. why hadnt mine? what had gone wrong? why did she get to have a baby, and i only got to loose one?
im not so angry anymore, although it still hurts. if i had had that baby, i wouldnt be having this one. i would still be feeding the baby, and my baby-making-abilities last time didnt kick back in until the kid was about 15 months old (that surprised the doctor) - three months after he stopped feeding. theres also my husband. the chances of him agreeing to a third are very very slim. (not that he really agreed to this one. we have a habit of accidental conception.)
but seeing my hairdresser still hurts. seeing photos of her son, how big he is, how much hes growing. all the things i didnt get to see with mine. and seeing her now is going to be very difficult. her son turns one soon. mine would be having a birthday soon too. there should be extra presents under the tree in the other room. there should be extra time management needed to actually get my hair done.
its not as hard as last year. and next year will be easier again. spaceghost will be taking up most of my attention, i'm sure. and the year after that, there will be something else to fill a little of the gap.
but christmas will always be a little empty. now i really need those christmas day services i love so much.
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
:(
i am no longer wearing my wedding and engagement rings.
the skin under where they were looks slightly shiny and wrinkly, and almost like a scar.
i feel naked without them.
for the observant among you, yes, there is a diamond missing from my wedding ring. has been for about 4 years now. ive got so used to it i almost dont want to get it 'fixed'. oh and my rings are tiny. my wedding ring fits completely within my husband's with room to spare. one day i'll get a picture of that...
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
dizzy dizzy dizzy
i was supposed to go in to the hypertension clinic at the hospital today for a checkup. had to reschedule it for next week, because when i got up this morning the whole world started to spin.
spinning is normal in my world. theres a decent chance that my world will go momentarily dark, my hearing dim, my head get hot, and the world start leaning, EVERY TIME i stand up. im used to it. what im NOT used to is when the leaning/spinning world hangs around. all day ive been feeling as if im standing on an angle . when im sitting down, it feels as if the chair is rising slowly.
and its a fair walk from the bus stop to the hospital.. i didnt think i could make it. so i rescheduled my appointment, and went in to the doctor.
either im suffering from vertigo, or i have a urinary infection. with no other symptoms. other than the fact that i have the pee a million times a day - but im pregnant. thats normal.
ugh. im to take it easy for the next few days, and go back to the doctor on friday to check how i am, and see if i do in fact have an infection - in which case i get antibiotics.
JOY.
spinning is normal in my world. theres a decent chance that my world will go momentarily dark, my hearing dim, my head get hot, and the world start leaning, EVERY TIME i stand up. im used to it. what im NOT used to is when the leaning/spinning world hangs around. all day ive been feeling as if im standing on an angle . when im sitting down, it feels as if the chair is rising slowly.
and its a fair walk from the bus stop to the hospital.. i didnt think i could make it. so i rescheduled my appointment, and went in to the doctor.
either im suffering from vertigo, or i have a urinary infection. with no other symptoms. other than the fact that i have the pee a million times a day - but im pregnant. thats normal.
ugh. im to take it easy for the next few days, and go back to the doctor on friday to check how i am, and see if i do in fact have an infection - in which case i get antibiotics.
JOY.
Friday, 21 November 2008
sigh
the baby has finally discovered my ribcage. it took longer then critter did. he was well and truly up there by now. but then, i didnt show with him till 6 months.
had an appointment at the hospital this morning. everything looks good. my blood pressure was good - 112/70 - the baby sounded fine, and nothing is swollen enough to worry about yet.
and on tuesday i get to do the glucose test again. at least its only the short one this time.
had an appointment at the hospital this morning. everything looks good. my blood pressure was good - 112/70 - the baby sounded fine, and nothing is swollen enough to worry about yet.
and on tuesday i get to do the glucose test again. at least its only the short one this time.
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
everyday is one step closer
someone stole my baby earlier today, and replaced it with a bowling ball. my stomach felt like it was made of bone, it was so hard.
practice contractions. fun.
i know not to panic if it doesnt hurt, but its annoying none-the-less. and it means baby-time is getting closer....
practice contractions. fun.
i know not to panic if it doesnt hurt, but its annoying none-the-less. and it means baby-time is getting closer....
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
dont you just love false alarms?
so my blood pressure was nice and low all day (hubby reckons i need to panic more often.. because 140/80 when calm and 110/60 when freaked out doesnt make ANY SENSE AT ALL), bloods were clean, spaceghost was fine (except for refusing to stay put for the CTG, wriggly thing) and the doctor who saw me after some 5 hours of boredom reckons that because of the staff shortage yesterday in the clinic (all the renal doctors were on leave. on the only day of the week the hypertension clinic is open. so the very few obs. doctors were doing all the renal's work too, and all the midwives were rushing around trying to organise everyone AND see their own patients also), someone glanced at my file in between doing 16million other things, and said "DAY STAY!" without actually looking at everything properly.
the pain is confusing, but she said pregnant women often have undiagnosed pain because its so fleeting, and could be caused by anything - most likely the baby putting pressure in awkward places. if i start feeling rotten im to contact labour ward though.
and it wasnt a complete waste of time.. i got a free ultrasound, and the baby was super cute. turning its head from side to side and opening&closing its mouth the whole time. nearly as good as when critter waved at us during his last ultrasound.
hopefully i wont have to go back for at least another month. or longer. that would be nice. im not holding my breath though.
the pain is confusing, but she said pregnant women often have undiagnosed pain because its so fleeting, and could be caused by anything - most likely the baby putting pressure in awkward places. if i start feeling rotten im to contact labour ward though.
and it wasnt a complete waste of time.. i got a free ultrasound, and the baby was super cute. turning its head from side to side and opening&closing its mouth the whole time. nearly as good as when critter waved at us during his last ultrasound.
hopefully i wont have to go back for at least another month. or longer. that would be nice. im not holding my breath though.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
the baby, it is trying its hardest to make my life suck.
yesterday around lunch time, as i was sitting on the couch checking my email and bank account and all those fun things, i felt a sudden, horrible, sharp pain in my side-ish type area. it actually made me jump. im not sure if it made me yelp. the cat didnt move, but there was no-one else here to tell me if i made a noise. there were a few more stabs, then it stopped. i started to worry at this point. pain down near my pelvis doesnt bother me. if i move wrong, random stomach muscles hurt, and ive become pretty good at not doing that. although sometimes i forget, stretch, and lie in agony for a second or five. but this was entirely different. the ouchy-muscle-pain, while sudden and brief, is.. dull. this felt like someone was stabbing me with a sharpened knitting needle. on fire.
when i was sure the pain wasnt coming back, i went to the bathroom to make sure there was no blood, and then took my temperature. all fine. then i sat for a while praying that spaceghost would move so i knew it was ok, and the obliging little creature played football with my bladder for a while and tried in vain to break my ribs (haha!! youre not big enough to reach yet!!), so i stopped worrying. i was going to the hospital tomorrow (yesterday's tomorrow - today) anyway, and would ask them about it then.
then about 5:30 last night as i was lying on the bed talking to my sweetheart as he was getting changed after he got home from work, the burning knitting needle re-appeared. right about smack-bam in the gap between my ribs. a few times. hubby asked me if i was sure it wasnt contractions (dear man.. labour to me feels like period pain that wont stop till the baby pops out. this was most definitely NOT period pain), and did i need to go see a doctor RIGHT NOW. but again, it went away, and i was sure id be fine. after all, i was going to the hospital tomorrow, and if something was wrong, they'd sort it out. but i did decide that if it happened again i was going to a doctor regardless.
so i went in to the hospital today for my checkup with the midwives. my blood pressure was fine (thankyou God), fundal height is fine, baby's heartbeat sounded fine, baby was feel-able (spaceghost's limbs are on the right.. which explains why the little wriggler never kicks me on the left, and goes INSANE if i lie on my right side) but they were concerned about the pain, so after i got weighed and did the protein/urine test, they asked me to stay and see one of the hypertension doctors, instead of waiting for my hypertension clinic appointment in two weeks. i guess the doctors were concerned enough without seeing me, and there was protein (ugh) so i had to do blood tests (three vials), and put off the glucose till next time, and i had to make an appointment for day-stay "either tomorrow, or the next day", and have another ultrasound while i'm there.
tomorrow i have to get up far too early so i can be at the hospital by 8am. my husband is going to be late for work, because theres no WAY i can organise myself to get a bus there by that time, so he's going to drop me off, then drive all the way back to our suburb to drop off the kid at preschool, and then make his way to work. and i have to stay there for a few hours while they monitor my blood pressure and blah blah blah. done it all before with critterbug. i was in and out of that hospital just about every week being told my blood pressure was too high, oh wait now its normal, oops no its high again..
but i was hoping to avoid all this for at least another month. im only 26 weeks. im sure i was at least 30 when it started with my critter. and the fact that its starting earlier, and has the added burning knitting needle pains.. is worrying me. just a little.
this wriggly baby spaceghost is not cooked enough to come out, so nothing better be horribly wrong with me. and i cant be put on bedrest.. i have to be mobile to look after my critterbug.
please please please let this be a false alarm.
when i was sure the pain wasnt coming back, i went to the bathroom to make sure there was no blood, and then took my temperature. all fine. then i sat for a while praying that spaceghost would move so i knew it was ok, and the obliging little creature played football with my bladder for a while and tried in vain to break my ribs (haha!! youre not big enough to reach yet!!), so i stopped worrying. i was going to the hospital tomorrow (yesterday's tomorrow - today) anyway, and would ask them about it then.
then about 5:30 last night as i was lying on the bed talking to my sweetheart as he was getting changed after he got home from work, the burning knitting needle re-appeared. right about smack-bam in the gap between my ribs. a few times. hubby asked me if i was sure it wasnt contractions (dear man.. labour to me feels like period pain that wont stop till the baby pops out. this was most definitely NOT period pain), and did i need to go see a doctor RIGHT NOW. but again, it went away, and i was sure id be fine. after all, i was going to the hospital tomorrow, and if something was wrong, they'd sort it out. but i did decide that if it happened again i was going to a doctor regardless.
so i went in to the hospital today for my checkup with the midwives. my blood pressure was fine (thankyou God), fundal height is fine, baby's heartbeat sounded fine, baby was feel-able (spaceghost's limbs are on the right.. which explains why the little wriggler never kicks me on the left, and goes INSANE if i lie on my right side) but they were concerned about the pain, so after i got weighed and did the protein/urine test, they asked me to stay and see one of the hypertension doctors, instead of waiting for my hypertension clinic appointment in two weeks. i guess the doctors were concerned enough without seeing me, and there was protein (ugh) so i had to do blood tests (three vials), and put off the glucose till next time, and i had to make an appointment for day-stay "either tomorrow, or the next day", and have another ultrasound while i'm there.
tomorrow i have to get up far too early so i can be at the hospital by 8am. my husband is going to be late for work, because theres no WAY i can organise myself to get a bus there by that time, so he's going to drop me off, then drive all the way back to our suburb to drop off the kid at preschool, and then make his way to work. and i have to stay there for a few hours while they monitor my blood pressure and blah blah blah. done it all before with critterbug. i was in and out of that hospital just about every week being told my blood pressure was too high, oh wait now its normal, oops no its high again..
but i was hoping to avoid all this for at least another month. im only 26 weeks. im sure i was at least 30 when it started with my critter. and the fact that its starting earlier, and has the added burning knitting needle pains.. is worrying me. just a little.
this wriggly baby spaceghost is not cooked enough to come out, so nothing better be horribly wrong with me. and i cant be put on bedrest.. i have to be mobile to look after my critterbug.
please please please let this be a false alarm.
Friday, 24 October 2008
oooooooooooooh what have i done
well its not that bad really i suppose.
last night, for the first time since.. im not sure.. about january i think.. i ate....... a burger from oporto. and i feel awful about it. and it tasted sooooooooooooo good. ive had the 1/4 chicken a couple times. rip it up and have in in a quesadilla or something.. but the burger.. mmm....
i decided to give up fast food, and try to avoid the kid having it too. subway does not count. but we cut out maccas (mainly him) and oporto (entirely me, since he's allergic to chicken) and other than the occasional chip whe someone else was eating it, i was determined to stick to it.
in actual fact i gave in a couple months back. there was nothing else to eat, and i was soooooooo hungry, and if i get hungry when im pregnant, i start feeling sick beyond belief, so i gave in and had mcnuggets.. and they tasted good. very good. and ive had them a few more times since. but nowhere near the amount we used to eat.
but the burger last night.. oh man. i just KNOW im going to be craving oporto from now on.
must be strong.
sproglet needs real food.
at least its better than a bigmac.
last night, for the first time since.. im not sure.. about january i think.. i ate....... a burger from oporto. and i feel awful about it. and it tasted sooooooooooooo good. ive had the 1/4 chicken a couple times. rip it up and have in in a quesadilla or something.. but the burger.. mmm....
i decided to give up fast food, and try to avoid the kid having it too. subway does not count. but we cut out maccas (mainly him) and oporto (entirely me, since he's allergic to chicken) and other than the occasional chip whe someone else was eating it, i was determined to stick to it.
in actual fact i gave in a couple months back. there was nothing else to eat, and i was soooooooo hungry, and if i get hungry when im pregnant, i start feeling sick beyond belief, so i gave in and had mcnuggets.. and they tasted good. very good. and ive had them a few more times since. but nowhere near the amount we used to eat.
but the burger last night.. oh man. i just KNOW im going to be craving oporto from now on.
must be strong.
sproglet needs real food.
at least its better than a bigmac.
Thursday, 16 October 2008
being a parent changes everything
i went to the movies yesterday with my sister. it was her day off, and critter was in preschool, so we decded to go do something. she also gave me a lift to the hospital so i could book my bed for when the baby is born. i now have the phone numer for the delivery ward for whenever this little sproglet decides to turn up - hopefully not until february.
anyway. back to the movies.
there doesnt seem to be an awful lot out at the moment, so we decided to go see the duchess. im not a huge keira knightley fan, but the pretty dresses and historical content far outweighed her eyebrows and lips.
i think i liked it. there were some bits i kinda looked around the room and hummed to myself during, but generally i liked it. except one thing.
it made me cry.
my sister turned to be incredulously after the movie and said 'were you crying??' well yes actually. im pregnant, and therefor full of hormones, and im a mother. i defy any woman with children not to be horrified at the situation this woman was put in.
**SLIGHT SPOILERS**
can you imagine being told "you must do XYZ or you will never see your children again"? all i could think about was someone taking away my critter and spaceghost. i would do anything to get them back. ANYTHING. i went through a few tissues in that theater.
being a parent changes EVERYTHING.
anyway. back to the movies.
there doesnt seem to be an awful lot out at the moment, so we decided to go see the duchess. im not a huge keira knightley fan, but the pretty dresses and historical content far outweighed her eyebrows and lips.
i think i liked it. there were some bits i kinda looked around the room and hummed to myself during, but generally i liked it. except one thing.
it made me cry.
my sister turned to be incredulously after the movie and said 'were you crying??' well yes actually. im pregnant, and therefor full of hormones, and im a mother. i defy any woman with children not to be horrified at the situation this woman was put in.
**SLIGHT SPOILERS**
can you imagine being told "you must do XYZ or you will never see your children again"? all i could think about was someone taking away my critter and spaceghost. i would do anything to get them back. ANYTHING. i went through a few tissues in that theater.
being a parent changes EVERYTHING.
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
im sooooooooooooooooo tired
aaaaaaaaaaand now i have a beatles song in my head as well.
i really am tired of this. SO tired. its driving me crazy. what you ask? TOILET TRAINING. STILL. at 4.
wetting the bed at night is annoying, but i can deal with it. i just have to remember to wake him up sometime after 9:30 to go to the toilet. its wetting his pants during the day that bothers me.
he doesnt do it at preschool. he doesnt do it at grandma's house, or aunty's house. he doesnt do it if we're at the shops. he only does it at home. he sits there and wets his pants, and does nothing. or comes and tells me he's wet his pants. and then does nothing. just stands there. (he also does this if he needs to go - comes and tels me he needs to go, then just stands there instead of actually GOING. is it too late to swap him for a new one?) he doesnt need to tell me!! just go to the loo already!!
i just dont get it. why doesnt he go to the toilet? why does he wet his pants and do nothing? does he not realise until its too late? its driving me bonkers.
and i dont know what to do, how to help, how to get him doing things right.
and now im getting distracted because spaceghost is kicking the computer and it feels really weird.
i really am tired of this. SO tired. its driving me crazy. what you ask? TOILET TRAINING. STILL. at 4.
wetting the bed at night is annoying, but i can deal with it. i just have to remember to wake him up sometime after 9:30 to go to the toilet. its wetting his pants during the day that bothers me.
he doesnt do it at preschool. he doesnt do it at grandma's house, or aunty's house. he doesnt do it if we're at the shops. he only does it at home. he sits there and wets his pants, and does nothing. or comes and tells me he's wet his pants. and then does nothing. just stands there. (he also does this if he needs to go - comes and tels me he needs to go, then just stands there instead of actually GOING. is it too late to swap him for a new one?) he doesnt need to tell me!! just go to the loo already!!
i just dont get it. why doesnt he go to the toilet? why does he wet his pants and do nothing? does he not realise until its too late? its driving me bonkers.
and i dont know what to do, how to help, how to get him doing things right.
and now im getting distracted because spaceghost is kicking the computer and it feels really weird.
can i just say..
after watching the first couple episodes of Buffy today (got the whole box set for christmas and im just now getting round to watching it), and Bones last night, david boreanz looks VERY DIFFERENT. its almost creepy was 10 years will do to someone.
that is all.
wait no its not. according to the doctor's scales, i have gained a mere 3-4kg (7-9lb) in 22 weeks of pregnancy. HELLO. now if i can just arrange to lose 11kg (24lb) in the first week after the baby is born like i did last time, and avoid excessive gain in the mean time, i'll be doing fine!!
that is all.
wait no its not. according to the doctor's scales, i have gained a mere 3-4kg (7-9lb) in 22 weeks of pregnancy. HELLO. now if i can just arrange to lose 11kg (24lb) in the first week after the baby is born like i did last time, and avoid excessive gain in the mean time, i'll be doing fine!!
go go SUPERCARB!!!!!
on friday, i have to have a blood test done. a glucose tolerance test, to be exact. no eating or drinking from midnight, test at 8:30am, and im guessing its going to be one of those 'drink this sugary goo and wait an hour for another test' ones. all to check f i have gestational diabetes, i think.
i dont know why this time i have to do a different test than i did last time...
last time it was just drink the goo and take the blood. this time, i have to eat a ridiculously carb filled diet for 3 days before i take the test. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. why arent i doing the same test i did last pregnancy? the same test all the other women in the hospital seem to be doing? i have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon, and i'll ask her then. it just seems a bit.. odd. maybe its because my pre-pregnancy weight was higher this time round so im already at more risk? i dont know. i dont get it.
but anyway. the diet.
im not sure how im going to be able to do it. i have to have 11 serves of carb each day, for three days. thats about 5 more than i currently have, since vegetables, fruit, and fruit juice count. I DONT KNOW HOW I CAN EAT THAT MUCH. not that much carb, necessarily, but that much food. unless i decide to drink juice all day instead of water. that will help.
or maybe i can have a bread sandwich - bread between two slices of bread, instead of cheese or ham, or vegemite etc. its a bit boring, but i can shake it up a little and put raisin toast between two slices of wholemeal for the taste difference. or maybe bread cut up small and wrapped in a tortilla. or a cereal sandwich. crunch crunch. (actually.. thats reminded me of something delicious.. sultana-bran in cheese on toast.. put plastic cheese - processed cheese slices of some sort - on a piece of bread, and put it under the grill til it starts to bubble up and go crispy. then poke a hole in it and fill with sultana bran. yum.... i think i know what im having for lunch.....)
i can leave the meat out of dinner and have bread instead. bread, potatoes/rice and veg, instead of lamb/beef/chicken, potatoes/rice and veg. with orange juice instead of milk. hey! i can use orange juice on my cereal in the mornings instead of milk! i can use orange juice in my pasta sauce instead of cream! and bread chunks instead of bacon and mushrooms.
im making a big dish of potato bake tonight, and will try to force down as much as possible, and then have more tomorrow.. and i'll make sure and eat extra carrots with dinner. but oh man.. i am going to be so FULL. i just dont eat that much. which is probably why at 22 1/2 weeks, ive gained probably around 5kg. and most of that in the last 4 weeks.
any other suggestions for stuffing myself full of carbs without getting so full i feel sick? cause even with all these appetizing ideas ive come up with, i dont think i reach a total of 11.
i dont know why this time i have to do a different test than i did last time...
last time it was just drink the goo and take the blood. this time, i have to eat a ridiculously carb filled diet for 3 days before i take the test. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. why arent i doing the same test i did last pregnancy? the same test all the other women in the hospital seem to be doing? i have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon, and i'll ask her then. it just seems a bit.. odd. maybe its because my pre-pregnancy weight was higher this time round so im already at more risk? i dont know. i dont get it.
but anyway. the diet.
im not sure how im going to be able to do it. i have to have 11 serves of carb each day, for three days. thats about 5 more than i currently have, since vegetables, fruit, and fruit juice count. I DONT KNOW HOW I CAN EAT THAT MUCH. not that much carb, necessarily, but that much food. unless i decide to drink juice all day instead of water. that will help.
or maybe i can have a bread sandwich - bread between two slices of bread, instead of cheese or ham, or vegemite etc. its a bit boring, but i can shake it up a little and put raisin toast between two slices of wholemeal for the taste difference. or maybe bread cut up small and wrapped in a tortilla. or a cereal sandwich. crunch crunch. (actually.. thats reminded me of something delicious.. sultana-bran in cheese on toast.. put plastic cheese - processed cheese slices of some sort - on a piece of bread, and put it under the grill til it starts to bubble up and go crispy. then poke a hole in it and fill with sultana bran. yum.... i think i know what im having for lunch.....)
i can leave the meat out of dinner and have bread instead. bread, potatoes/rice and veg, instead of lamb/beef/chicken, potatoes/rice and veg. with orange juice instead of milk. hey! i can use orange juice on my cereal in the mornings instead of milk! i can use orange juice in my pasta sauce instead of cream! and bread chunks instead of bacon and mushrooms.
im making a big dish of potato bake tonight, and will try to force down as much as possible, and then have more tomorrow.. and i'll make sure and eat extra carrots with dinner. but oh man.. i am going to be so FULL. i just dont eat that much. which is probably why at 22 1/2 weeks, ive gained probably around 5kg. and most of that in the last 4 weeks.
any other suggestions for stuffing myself full of carbs without getting so full i feel sick? cause even with all these appetizing ideas ive come up with, i dont think i reach a total of 11.
Friday, 10 October 2008
and more downs
down: waking up after a VERY MUCH NEEDED NAP because of ONLY 5 HOURS OF SLEEP, to find the critter is crying.
down: when he cries even louder when i ask him whats wrong.
down: numerous times.
down: many numerous.
down: being told after 15 minutes of crying that his bed is wet. couldnt have told me this the first 10 times i asked because......? (im not upset that his bed was wet. i should have made him go to the bathroom before his nap. im upset that he wouldnt tell me when i asked.)
down: discovering my deodorant has decided to make me stink, instead of stopping me from stinking.
down:from this morning: discovering i forgot to write swiss cheese on the grocery list, and now we have none. no cheese and vegemite sandwiches for me.
down: the amount of dishes i have to put away after a truly delicious roast dinner last night.
down: when he cries even louder when i ask him whats wrong.
down: numerous times.
down: many numerous.
down: being told after 15 minutes of crying that his bed is wet. couldnt have told me this the first 10 times i asked because......? (im not upset that his bed was wet. i should have made him go to the bathroom before his nap. im upset that he wouldnt tell me when i asked.)
down: discovering my deodorant has decided to make me stink, instead of stopping me from stinking.
down:from this morning: discovering i forgot to write swiss cheese on the grocery list, and now we have none. no cheese and vegemite sandwiches for me.
down: the amount of dishes i have to put away after a truly delicious roast dinner last night.
a day of up and downs
because so far, theres only been one up.
down: waking up at 3:30am because i need to pee, and finding the critter is coughing so hard he was almost gagging.
down: turning on the light in the kitchen to get medicine for the kid and BEING BLINDED.
down: tripping over EVERYTHING in the bedroom on the way back to bed because I WAS BLINDED.
down: not getting back to sleep til 5:30 (lying in bed for two hours trying to sleep? NOT FUN), at which time hubby's alarm goes off and wakes me up again.
down: getting up at 7:18am to make breakfast for critter/lunch for hubby and finding there is a headache the size of australia building in my left eyeball. not behind it, IN IT.
down: critter whinging through the entire half hour it took him to eat two slices of toast, because he wasnt allowed to watch tv.
down: ditto his milk.
down: "in the night garden".
down: realising my typing skills become even worse with lack of sleep.
down: kid whinging because lunch does NOT happen less than two hours after breakfast, and stomping will get you sent to your room.
down: incessant wailing because the ties that hold a pice of cardboard to the front of his bike have come off. truly, it is the end of the world.
down: the broken toys in the kids room that repeat the same three not-same three not-same three not-same three not-same three notes FOR EVER.
up: 4 year old reads his first word. s-t-o-p. st-o-p. st-op. stop!!!!
down: another wail, from the bathroom because he has somehow managed to drop his toy horse down the toilet. seriously.... why is it in the bathroom?
down: that darn alphabet caterpillar. and his inability not to push the same button 15 times a second. seriously.. cant you let it play to the end before pushing it again? its as bad as the broken toys.
down: yet more wailing because pulling the darn alphabet caterpillar off the table will make it fall on your foot, and that hurts!
down: and yet more wailing when mummy says you should have been paying attention and not pulling things off the table.
and its only 1:30.
down: waking up at 3:30am because i need to pee, and finding the critter is coughing so hard he was almost gagging.
down: turning on the light in the kitchen to get medicine for the kid and BEING BLINDED.
down: tripping over EVERYTHING in the bedroom on the way back to bed because I WAS BLINDED.
down: not getting back to sleep til 5:30 (lying in bed for two hours trying to sleep? NOT FUN), at which time hubby's alarm goes off and wakes me up again.
down: getting up at 7:18am to make breakfast for critter/lunch for hubby and finding there is a headache the size of australia building in my left eyeball. not behind it, IN IT.
down: critter whinging through the entire half hour it took him to eat two slices of toast, because he wasnt allowed to watch tv.
down: ditto his milk.
down: "in the night garden".
down: realising my typing skills become even worse with lack of sleep.
down: kid whinging because lunch does NOT happen less than two hours after breakfast, and stomping will get you sent to your room.
down: incessant wailing because the ties that hold a pice of cardboard to the front of his bike have come off. truly, it is the end of the world.
down: the broken toys in the kids room that repeat the same three not-same three not-same three not-same three not-same three notes FOR EVER.
up: 4 year old reads his first word. s-t-o-p. st-o-p. st-op. stop!!!!
down: another wail, from the bathroom because he has somehow managed to drop his toy horse down the toilet. seriously.... why is it in the bathroom?
down: that darn alphabet caterpillar. and his inability not to push the same button 15 times a second. seriously.. cant you let it play to the end before pushing it again? its as bad as the broken toys.
down: yet more wailing because pulling the darn alphabet caterpillar off the table will make it fall on your foot, and that hurts!
down: and yet more wailing when mummy says you should have been paying attention and not pulling things off the table.
and its only 1:30.
a letter to a spaceghost
my dear squirmy little baby. you have no idea how glad i am that you have finally decided to move enough for me to feel you. for daddy to feel you. truly, i thought my heart was going to burst when i felt you go wild in there and realised you were ok. but honestly? the rolling? its creepy.
i love the kicks, or punches, or headbutts, or whatever they are, though i realise i wont in a few months when your feet reside inside my ribcage like your brothers did, or you try to break my pelvis with your head - you cant do that you know. i have very strong bones, and yours are soft and rubbery. it. wont. work.
i love the weird little jumps, though i know that regular hic-coughs will drive me nuts when they start jiggling my bladder.
but when it feels like someone is rolling a ball from one side of my stomach to the other from the inside, its creepy. it feels like theres an alien inside trying to get out. THAT IS NOT THE EXIT, AND YOU ARE NOT COOKED YET.
you will know when you're cooked. you wont be able to move cause youll be too squashed. but youll try anyway, and ill wonder when oh when will this all be over? then my body will take over and you will be expelled, and i will hold you and love you and you will most likely squeak like your brother did.
i love you little spaceghost, more and more every day, but i would appreciate it if you would restrict yourself to kicks and jumps. the rolls... i do not like the rolls. and will like them less when you get strong enough to make it visible.
all my love,
mummy
i love the kicks, or punches, or headbutts, or whatever they are, though i realise i wont in a few months when your feet reside inside my ribcage like your brothers did, or you try to break my pelvis with your head - you cant do that you know. i have very strong bones, and yours are soft and rubbery. it. wont. work.
i love the weird little jumps, though i know that regular hic-coughs will drive me nuts when they start jiggling my bladder.
but when it feels like someone is rolling a ball from one side of my stomach to the other from the inside, its creepy. it feels like theres an alien inside trying to get out. THAT IS NOT THE EXIT, AND YOU ARE NOT COOKED YET.
you will know when you're cooked. you wont be able to move cause youll be too squashed. but youll try anyway, and ill wonder when oh when will this all be over? then my body will take over and you will be expelled, and i will hold you and love you and you will most likely squeak like your brother did.
i love you little spaceghost, more and more every day, but i would appreciate it if you would restrict yourself to kicks and jumps. the rolls... i do not like the rolls. and will like them less when you get strong enough to make it visible.
all my love,
mummy
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