Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord

this term at bible study we are studying colossians. now, due to not having school aged children, and being generally unaware of time passing in the world around me (the only way i know what day it is is by whats on the TV, and whether people are home or not - weekends), i didnt know what week we started up again, and missed the first 2 or 3 sessions. and then there was a lot of family stuff going on, so after the one week i attended, i have missed 2 more weeks.

so last night, while my husband used my computer to try and fill out some questionnaire for a job interview (his computer has a funky keyboard thing going on at the moment and he wasnt sure he trusted it), i got my Cheat Bible and started reading. (my bible has cheat notes - notes on the meaning of the text, cross references, questions to make you think, all that stuff. some pages have so much in the way of cheat notes that there is only a line or two of biblical text at the top of the page, and the rest is full of notes and cross references.)

i like colossians. some books are boring, but colossians speaks to me. so i read most of the way through it, even though i only planned on reading one chapter. and of course, i have my cheat notes, so my inner Random Link Clicker turned into Page Flicker, and i kept chasing those references.

colossians does not have an awful lot to say in the way of "rules for christian households", as it is headed in my Cheat Bible - just a line each to women, men, children, and fathers, a few sentences to slaves, and a little to masters - but my cheat notes directed me to see also ephesians 5:21 - 6:9, which expands on the matter somewhat.

something that i noticed in this passage, even before i read the cheat notes, is that paul has a lot more to say to men about loving their wives, than he does to women in regards submitting to their husbands. and also, that the whole section is preceded by one important instruction. eph 5:21 "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

a lot of people see the 'submit' instruction as demeaning of women, and there are a lot of men who will seek to use it to their own advantage. the surrendered wives movement comes to mind here. the wives submit to their husbands, yes, but are the husbands loving their wives? ephesians 5:25 - 33 instructs men not only to love their wives, but to love them "just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her", and to "love their wives as their own bodies." now, i'm sure there are couples involved in the surrendered wives movement for whom this is the case, but there are some where is isnt. that isnt really the point here though. the point is whether 'submitting' is demeaning, or makes us somehow lesser.

but theres that preceding note again. "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."

my cheat notes have some interesting points on how men are to love their wives. "he should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. he should make her well being of primary importance. he should care for her as he cares for his own body." isnt that a form of submission? submitting to her needs, putting her first. he does not take advantage of HER submission by refusing his own.

this is not to say that we as wives should not submit to our husband's leadership. we should put him first in all things. support him, help him, however and whenever we are needed. but if he loves us as Christ loves the church, if he submits, in his own way, by sacrificing everything for us, then our submission is no cause for distress, and is in no way demeaning for us.


my husband loves me. and he serves me. he gets up to the randomly screaming child during the night when i've already been up 4 times. he lets me sleep in after said night. he cooks wonderfully delicious food. he buys me pretty things. he takes absolute delight in bringing me home little surprise gifts. he comforts me when i am in distress (which has been quite a bit lately and will be quite a bit more around christmas). he helps me when i just dont know what to do. he asks for my opinion. he CARES about my opinion. why should it be any trouble, or in any way demeaning, for me to submit to a man like this, who has nothing but my best interests at heart?

i do everything in my power to make my husband happy. make sure he has clean clothes, hot food, and a (reasonably) tidy house. if he wants something i'm not too keen on, i tell him why, but if he still wants it, so be it. he is my husband, and he has my best interests at heart. and so far, every time our opinions have differed and things have gone 'his way', even when i wasn't so keen, it's been the right decision.

why should i not submit?