more in love than ever

4 years ago today, or close enough since i cant be bothered figuring out the time change, i was in las vegas, holding hands with my new husband. most of our family and close friends were there, with a few notable absences. most of my family and friends were in australia, and therefor couldnt make it, and his father decided he would rather visit his girlfriend in china than attend his own sons wedding.

i couldnt stop smiling, and he wouldnt let go of me. it was as if he was afraid i might vanish if he let me out of his sight or grasp. and our mothers were very mother-at-wedding. i still dont understand his mother's choice in outfit, but she was happy, and she was there.

it was hot. very very hot. and im glad we were inside in the coolth. did i mention i was 6 months pregnant at the time? we did things a little out of order, and im not very proud of that. then again, if we HADNT gone out of order, we might not be married, and i definitely wouldnt have the beautiful child who is currently riding his bicycle around the house.

weve had some tough times in the past 4 years. packing a house at 6 months pregnant wasnt fun. and he was a little scared to fly across the world with his pregnant new wife, to a new country where he didnt know anyone other than said wife. the birth of the beautiful child was a little traumatic for all involved, and my husband had a lot of trouble living in the same house as my sister. losing a child was tough for me, and though it didnt affect him the same, my pain has bothered him. finances have not been great, though we definitely have enough to currently survive and a little. hes on his third job, and there are a lot of things we need to do to the house. we cannot afford a place of our own without moving far enough away that he cannot get to work, and i cannot get to shops, so we rely on the kindness of our mother to let us live in her house while she lives and works interstate. in return we fix up what we can, and we pay all the bills - we just cannot pay rent, and with house prices and interest rates the way they are, buying is so far off as to be completely laughable.

but ultimately, its been good. hes made some friends, he likes it here. our relationship has strengthened and deepened. we had known each other only 16 months when we got married, and i am still learning new things about him. he is a good provider, though he doesnt believe it, and no amount of insistence on my part will convince him. he is a great father, a wonderful husband, and absolutely the love of my life.

i dont know what God has planned for our lives. why it was so important for us to be together that i went against everything i had ever believed. but i am glad to have this beautiful man in my life, who i love so much it hurts. this man who makes my heart sing, and who i want to please more than just about anything.


and i pray that Gods plan involves us being together for a very, very long time.