I just don't know how to help

My husband's mother recently found us on facebook. Really not that hard to do when you know someone's name, is it. And i suppose its a good thing. International phone calls are expensive, even with a phonecard, and this way she can see pictures of everyone too. But.... it does cause some problems.

My husband does not get on terribly well with his family. Especially his mother's side it seems. His fathers side is not so bad, since he hardly has contact with those siblings, and hence nothing to have problems with. His mother, and his siblings through her however... well.

The major thing at the moment is, of course, the baby. She wants to know what it is. Hubby wants to know what it is. I don't. I didn't find out with the last one, and I don't want to find out this time. I told hubby he could find out - I'd stick my fingers in my ears and shout LALALALALALA while he was told - but he said it wouldn't work. He'd end up letting it slip. So we aren't going to find out. He got a message from his mother, and since he was in a bad mood and doesn't get along with her to begin with, he responded in a sarcastic manner. So she called him.

Which is probably a good thing, because its the only time he ever finds out how his father is doing. He had a stroke 2 years ago, and is basically paralyzed. He can talk a bit, and his mind is all there, but he can't move much, and he won't do his physical therapy because it hurts. And his so-called best friend, to whom he signed over power of attorney, has stolen all his money. So they need to cancel that, and now hubby's sister, who isn't his fathers daughter, and has problems of her own, is in charge of expenses.

And yesterday she gave hubby's mother a bunch of money, because hubby's father wants her to be able to come out here and see the baby after its born. He can't afford this. He also wants to send us money to buy something for the kids. He can't afford that either. And now my husband is sad because he is so far away from his father, and he can't do anything. He thinks that if he was there, things would be better. Possibly true. He would have had power of attorney instead of the friend, and his father would still have his money. He's been taking care of his family for years, he knows what to do. But his father still would have had the stroke, and would still be refusing physical therapy. And we would probably be worse off, and hubby would be stressed beyond belief all the time, instead of for a few days after the occasional phonecall or email.

And I just don't know how to help. I don't know what to say, or what to do. He is a long way from his family, and they are hurting, and he is hurting. And my hugs just don't seem to be helping.