God does not do the sermons at my church

theres a man sitting about 2 feet away from me, who am incredibly thankful for. even though he hasnt responded to a single thing ive said in the last half hour. hes paying much more attention to his own computer. but hes cute when he concentrates, so thats ok. dont tell him i said that.

ive just finished watching an article on 60minutes about the idiotic things kids do, driving too fast. something they mentioned is that the human brain is not fully developed until the age of 25. this means that not only was i still a child when my son was born (i was 22.. i guess im just barely an adult now, at 26), so was my husband. he was 24. and i can believe it. i saw him do some pretty dumb things in the year or so we were together before critter happened. matter of fact i remember doing some dumb things myself. like driving around with my mates during our lunch break, with 7 or 8 of us in a station wagon - one lying down in the boot, 4 squished on the back seat. the front seat was a bench, so three of us fit. at least we werent driving too fast.

but it got me thinking about how grateful i am for him. not simply the fact that none of those dumb things ever got the better of him, but everything. he works hard to provide for us. hes a great cook. he does the dishes. he makes cute faces when hes concentrating (dont tell him i said that). and he loves me, for some reason, just the way i am.

most of my friends are stick insects. they eat too much salad, and work out all the time. i used to look like them, somehow without the salads and working out (oh the lucky 16 yr old me who could eat 4 quarterpounders, 20chicken nuggets, 3 large fries and a thickshake.. in about half an hour. and still look like a twig). not so much anymore. a slowing metabolism and pregnancy has added a fair amount of pudge. and he doesnt mind. "you look like a girl. girls are supposed to be soft and curvy." i look at my ever-expanding, baby-enclosing stomach in the mirror, and i hate it. i still dont think i look pregnant, just fat. i think of my skinny friends, and i wish i looked like them again. "why would you want to look like her? you can see her bones. its gross." (for the record, this 'bony' friend is not extreme.. she doesnt look anorexic by any means, but you can see her hips bones when shes in a swimsuit.) he doesnt mind the stretch marks. he doesnt mind the scars. he doesnt even see the things that bother me the most. if pressed he admits that i could "maybe lose a little weight, for your health. but you look perfect to me."

i dont know why God has given me this amazing man, who is so perfect for me. a friend of mine, who i fancied when i was younger, likes his women skinny. his family rates his girlfriends on the SII - the Stick Insect Index. God didnt give me that man, or any of the other men i knew. he gave me the one that was a match for me. the one i had to travel to the other side of the world to meet.

the one who gave me the cutest child in the world.

last week, in church, i reminded critter that we have to be quiet, so we can hear what the minister is saying, when he tells us about God. when the minister started talking, after the first hymn, critter stood up, straining to see to the front over the heads of the other parishioners. he turned to me with the hugest eyes i've ever seen and said "mummy! is that GOD???" not the best thing to say to a pregnant woman. i nearly wet my pants and had an asthma attack at the same time.

all because of this wonderful match God made.