i never get anything interesting in the mail

this is not to say nothing interesting ever comes here, but its never addressed to me. every month i get my better homes and gardens magazine, which is interesting, but other than that, i get bills, bank statements, and the occasional boring junkmail (hello ms maiden-name! you have been selected to win this overpriced holiday for only half price, assuming you fit our critereia, which you obviously dont since we didnt even realise you're married!!)

mum gets the same, plus more interesting junkmail - from AMERICA. "dear MUMS NAME. did you know how special you are MUMS NAME? only a very few people in the world have the same amazing abilities as you, MUMS NAME, including some celebrities who have been on shows like 60 minutes, and entertainment tonight, MUMS NAME. because of your unique and amazing special abilities, MUMS NAME we are offering you blah blah blah blah while mentioning your name a MILLION MORE TIMES!!! because that will convince you WE ARE NOT A SCAM!!!" she also gets interesting things like money magazine, letters from real live humans who know her, and CHEQUES. thats right, SHE GETS SENT MONEY. usually about $2.00, but still. she also gets things like the inovations catalogue, and catalogues for model cars and collectable money and stamps and stuff.

my husband gets even more things FROM AMERICA. letters from his family (and boy are some of those ever.. uh.. interesting.. a lot of people TYPE IN ALL-CAPS ALL THE TIME, but have you ever recieved a handwritten letter in all-caps? except for the signature? which looks loike it was written y a different person?), and a newsletter from his old high-school.

today i had to check and make sure i'd actually got everything out of the mailbox. there was an innovations catalogue, and The Yellow Envelope, which isnt even addressed to anyone and im not even sure what that is, because it always gets thrown out. and that was it. im bracing myself. the dearth of mail means im sure to get bombarded for the rest of the week. ah well, at least all the bills have already come.. how bad can it be?