bus incident

so yesterday at about 3pm i was catching a bus home from the shops, and it was very crowded, what with all the school kids, so the critter and i had to stand. i told him to make sure and hang on to me - i gave him a handful of skirt, since he tends to stay hanging on once hes holding something - and i was sort of leaning over so i could hold onto him and he wouldnt get thrown around the bus, while making sure i was still able to hold onto the rails, and therefor not knock over him, or anyone else. then this lovely woman offered me her seat. i initially refused, numerous times, but she just kept on insisting, so i put aiden in the seat, and i stood sort of half infront of it, half in the aisle, making sure he wouldnt get thrown off or anything, since he could not reach the rail infort of him.

then this geriatric old nosybritches who was sitting in the seat next to the one given to us started berating me. "that lady gave the seat to YOU not your child" blah blah blah, and i told her there was no way i was going to sit down and let my 2.5 year old stand up and be thrown all over the bus. an old guy sitting in a seat right near us was trying to stand up and give me his seat but i told him to sit down please sir, i was quite happy to stand here with my son - there was no WAY i was going to take his seat, he was in his 70s or 80s, and had a walking stick, i would have made him stay seated even if i was hugely pregnant, unless i was going into labour right then and there - and she told me how inconsiderate i was, never thinking of anyone but myself, and look how i was distressing everyone else on the bus and i really need to sit down and make my kid stand, and i told her AGAIN that i wasnt going to let him be thrown around the bus while i sit down, at which point she told me i should have though of that before i got on, and caught a later bus, or a taxi.

"well im sorry, but hes far too little to be in a taxi without a carseat"
"well you should ahve brought one with you"
"im not going to carry a carseat around the shps with me all day"
"then you should have brought your car"
"i dont drive"
"then why are you talking about a carseat!!"
"MY HUSBAND DRIVES."
"oh."
she shut up then.

the way she shut up the instant i said 'husband' makes me wonder if she had assumed i was an unmarried mother (the horror) and that was cranky-ing her up too. cause later in the journey, the critter was wiggling a little bit and ended up sitting with his hand in her lap, and when i moved his hand away and told him he needed to keep still and keep his hands in his own lap, she said 'oh its ok' and was smiling at him and stuff. i just dont understand. especially since i was wearing my rings. do i really look that young that people jsut assume it without even checking my finger? i will be 25 in less than a month. does the blond hair make me look like a teenager or something?

anyway..... was i being inconsiderate? usually i sit in the sideways seats with the critter on my lap, so we dont take up too much room, but there was just no space on the bus yesterday. there were so mnay school kids sitting up the back... and theres no way im going to let a toddler be thrown around the bus like a ragdoll, which is what would ahve happened if i sat down. as it was i had to lean over with one hand on his chest to stop him being thrown forward and sideways and all over the place. if he was 5, even if he was 4, considereing how tall he is, i would ahve just flat out refused to take the seat and made sure he hung on to me. but hes really still jsut a baby. he must look older than he is, or maybe its just his height.. but people are always surprised when the find out he wont be 3 till september.

it was drilled into me as a child and teenageer, that you give up your seat to someone who needs it more than you, whether it be an elderly person, a pregnant woman, someone with a disability or injury, a woman with a screaming baby... and i try to do this, although it is tempting not to when you have a small child of your own... and when i was at school, we had very strict rules. no school children were allowed to sit on the bus if there were adults standing up. half the time we werent even allowed on the bus, because the driver decided we should wait for our own special school bus. but the fact that this woman expected me to allow my toddler to stand up and be thrown around... i will not do that. i can hold on to the rails, he cannot. he wont even consistently hold on to my hand.



this has all got me very angry, i apologise for any incoherence.