i am not bored.

my mother worries about me. well, thats what mothers do. its WHY she worries about me that bothers me.

apparently i am bored. i am bored, because i spend all day at home with my son, cooking, and cleaning, playing with blocks, singing songs, learning the alphabet, and numbers, and occasionally reading a book, by myself, with more than 20 pages.

obviously, this is boring.

today, i packed everything back into the mildew drawer, cleaned out the shirt drawer and the PJ drawers, reorganised said drawers, and the singlet drawer, cleared out the wardrobe (with the help of my wonderful hubby), put away two loads of wash, made the bed (usually doesnt happen because i dont see the point), made a roast dinner, and spent the entire day wrangling a nearly 3yr old in a very bad mood, who threw himself on the floor and screamed every time i asked him to do anything. i didnt get up till 8:30, because i didnt sleep last night, and hubby got home around 4:30. i had a longer than usual shower cause it was TOO COLD this morning, and i had to wash my hair. i was curled up in the cot for 45 min or so because it was the only way to get the critter to calm down. we read books. we played puzzles. we sang. i washed dishes. obviously, today was boring.


my mother moved from the US to england when she was about 16. she didnt go to school once she moved, but started working straight away. she didnt have children til she was 35. she worked for nearly 20years straight, before she had children and stayed at home. this would have been quite a change for her. and she thinks that because SHE was bored at home, i must be. she took me to playgroup and gym and all sorts of stuff, to not be bored. and she started working part time once my sister was in school.

this is what can happen when women put off having children til after they have had a career. such a change of lifestyle! such a change of responsibilities. i honestly dont know how people do it. and thats the problem. some dont. they wait and wait and wait to have children, and then once they do, they cant handle it.

i dont have this problem.

i hated school. i didnt (and still dont) see the point of learning how to calculate SINE, when as a secretary, or video/book-store clerk, or mother, i would absolutely never need to use it. (i took maths because i had to. i took physics because i enjoyed it. equally useless for me, but interesting. even at 17, when i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life, i knew it would not involve any maths more complicated than long division) i went to university for a semester (nearly) because it was expected. i stopped going before the first exams, because i hated it. i never went back.

around my 19th birthday, i started working for my father, as a secretary. after just over a year - 16 months i think - family problems and my own mental state took a turn for the worse, and i moved from australia to the US, and stayed with my cousin. worked 3 days a week as a clerk in a video store, for just over a year. met hubby, got pregnant, got married, came back to australia. and ive been at home ever since. i havent had time to get used to being in the workforce, doing things only for myself.

i finished school at 18. my son was born a month after my 22nd birthday.

this IS my job. i am not bored.