sooooooooooooo despite our absolute LOVE of that blue, once we saw it in the light of.. well.. night actually, it looks a bit purple. had another look this morning, and it definitely looks fantastic during the day, but purplish at night. so... weve given up on it.
theres a couple OTHER blues we now like, but its all getting a little exasperating, finding colours that not only look good, they look good TOGETHER. hubby's been talking about picking something other than blue for the trim, but honestly i think brown would be a bit too grown up for a little boys room, and thats the way hubby's leaning. who knows, it may look fantastic though. i never would have picked brown for our room, but it looks great. im almost thinking yellow might be nice, but im not sure how to fit it in.
its all making my brain hurt. :(
Thursday 30 August 2007
Wednesday 29 August 2007
colours for critters
what do you think? our original plan was the big patch on the left. you cant really see in the picture, but there ARE 2 shades of 'white' there... one we already had for our room, and one we bought to go with the blue. it looked PERFECT in the store, but now its on the wall it is FAR TOO PINK. so were going to go with our white, i think. and white ceilings, obviously.anyway.... so we were thinking that, then hubby mentioned that even though that had been his idea to begin with, now hes thinking maybe he'd prefer to have a unifying theme throughout the house of having every room have the same white for the ceiling, and the walls above the picture rail. (this was what i originally wanted anyway, when we started thinking about painting the house, and kinda what we were thinking when we went to get paint - light walls, dark trim, white(ish) ceiling - but he saw the light/white/dark in a book next to the paints, and it really does look good.)
but we're undecided as to whether we like light walls with darker trim, or dark walls with lighter trim.
we both really like the darker blue, and whatever we choose, we want that blue. we will find other colours that go with THAT BLUE. but the lighter one... is a bit dark. in my opinion. hubby thinks its too light for some looks, too dark for others. if we go with option one, light blue/white/dark blue, it definitely needs to be lighter. for option 2, white/dark/light, hubby thinks it should be darker, i think it should be lighter. for option 3, white/light/dark, we both think it should be lighter.
regardless of our current opinions, i think we should buy sample pots of both a lighter AND a darker shade, and try them BOTH out for both options. when we were doing our room, our initial choice was not quite right, it looked a bit too blue for the room, and we decided maybe we should have a yellower shade of green. hubby went to get a sample, and while he was there he bought a completely different darker green as well, just to see how it would look. when we started painting, the yellower shade looked hideous, and the darker one he picked on a random whim was PERFECT. and full room size, it still looks gorgeous. i love it. but it just goes to show, what you logically think should work, isnt always right.
sad renovations
we've practically finished our room, just need to finish painting the door and window, and any little patches we find didnt get a second coat.
so now we're starting on the critters room. well.. soon-to-be-the-critter's-room. we've torn off as much wallpaper as we can without stripper, all my sister's stuff is out, its now just furniture, a few paper scraps, and his clothes.
a couple of the paintbrushes didnt like the paint, so we went to bunnings today to get new ones, and while we were there, we had a look at paint colours, trying to decide what we like, and what we want to do with his room. if he was older i'd let him help with the decision, but as it is, he just says 'YES!' to everything we ask him, so he's not much use. we picked out some colours, bought some little sample pots, and when critter and i have finished lunch, i'm going to go scrub some patches of the wall and paint them with the sample, make sure we actually like it.
its definitely important to do this - with our room we decided we didnt like one of the colours we had picked out, and got a different one that was just SO much better. colours look different in large patches on the wall than they do in a little square of paper, and the light in your house will almost certainly be different to the light in the paint shop, and it can make SUCH a huge different to the colours.
anyway... doing our room was fun. i am SO happy. it looks great, it looks new, we have new furniture, and its now OUR room. doing my son's room is going to be difficult.
in april i lost a baby. i wasnt even certain i was pregnant until i lost it, and because of that, i have no 'proof' that i was. i never had a chance to take a pregnancy test, and i never saw a doctor about it. but i was anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks late (my cycles are all kinds of crazy), and i NEVER have food related nausea, sore breasts and an increased need to use the loo.. except when i was pregnant. so no matter what anyone says about not being able to be sure there was a baby, i sure do KNOW there was a baby thankyou very much.
and now there isnt. and its making it hard to do my son's room. i cant help thinking that i should be doing this room for another baby, as well as my critter. that we should be at the point where we're getting new baby furniture (we had second hand stuff and its falling apart now), telling our son about the new baby, that we're fixing up this room so he and the baby have a nice place to sleep.... but i cant do that.
i can just be slightly comforted by the fact that my baby is in SUCH a better place now, and doesnt have to worry about renovations.
but i still wish i was doing this for my dear one as well.
so now we're starting on the critters room. well.. soon-to-be-the-critter's-room. we've torn off as much wallpaper as we can without stripper, all my sister's stuff is out, its now just furniture, a few paper scraps, and his clothes.
a couple of the paintbrushes didnt like the paint, so we went to bunnings today to get new ones, and while we were there, we had a look at paint colours, trying to decide what we like, and what we want to do with his room. if he was older i'd let him help with the decision, but as it is, he just says 'YES!' to everything we ask him, so he's not much use. we picked out some colours, bought some little sample pots, and when critter and i have finished lunch, i'm going to go scrub some patches of the wall and paint them with the sample, make sure we actually like it.
its definitely important to do this - with our room we decided we didnt like one of the colours we had picked out, and got a different one that was just SO much better. colours look different in large patches on the wall than they do in a little square of paper, and the light in your house will almost certainly be different to the light in the paint shop, and it can make SUCH a huge different to the colours.
anyway... doing our room was fun. i am SO happy. it looks great, it looks new, we have new furniture, and its now OUR room. doing my son's room is going to be difficult.
in april i lost a baby. i wasnt even certain i was pregnant until i lost it, and because of that, i have no 'proof' that i was. i never had a chance to take a pregnancy test, and i never saw a doctor about it. but i was anywhere from 1 to 4 weeks late (my cycles are all kinds of crazy), and i NEVER have food related nausea, sore breasts and an increased need to use the loo.. except when i was pregnant. so no matter what anyone says about not being able to be sure there was a baby, i sure do KNOW there was a baby thankyou very much.
and now there isnt. and its making it hard to do my son's room. i cant help thinking that i should be doing this room for another baby, as well as my critter. that we should be at the point where we're getting new baby furniture (we had second hand stuff and its falling apart now), telling our son about the new baby, that we're fixing up this room so he and the baby have a nice place to sleep.... but i cant do that.
i can just be slightly comforted by the fact that my baby is in SUCH a better place now, and doesnt have to worry about renovations.
but i still wish i was doing this for my dear one as well.
Tuesday 28 August 2007
modest dress
today hubby and i went down to the shops. i still had $40 left from my birthday money, and i am getting really tired of wearing the same skirt day in day out, so i wanted to see if i could find a nice new one. for the record, i found a brown corduroy skirt i like in target, $24.88 reduced from like $40 or something, get to the checkout and it was all of $10.28. SCORE! so i still have $30 left. yay! maybe i'll buy a new CD since i didnt find any other clothes i like.....
ANYWAY.... so we were out at the shops, and a group of muslim women walked past, and one of them was dressed so... oddly i guess, that i got me really thinking about modesty. it wasnt an isolated event, either. i often see muslim women dressed like this, and it always strikes me as very odd.
now, a lot of muslim women say they dress the way they do, all covered up including hair, not because their men say they have to, but because it is their way of honouring God, by being modest. fair enough. but being 'all covered up' isnt necessarily modest. its the WAY you are covered up, as much as the fact that you are. which is why some of the women i see at the shops bother me so so much.
skintight jeans, 4 inch heels, a figure hugging top with push-up bra, and a ton of makeup and jewellery is not modest, just because no-one can see your hair, or any skin other than your hands and face. honestly, you might as well be wearing a mini-skirt and a tube top. i dressed up my sims to illustrate my point, and because ive been neglecting them a little lately. now, the 'muslim' sim there is all covered up, yes, but to me, the one in the blue shirt is dressed more modestly, even though she is showing more skin.
and now, in true kaeus form, ive just remembered something truly disturbing i saw on the weekend when we were doing our grocery shop in aldi. there was a girl about 14 or so, wearing a pink boob tube, just high enough to cover her bra in the front, and about an inch below it in back, with black knee length tight pants. bike shorts or leggings or something. 14. 14! i mean really... it was just... i couldnt believe it. again, sims illustrate the point. can you imagine? at about 10am at the supermarket? 14 years old???Monday 27 August 2007
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord
this term at bible study we are studying colossians. now, due to not having school aged children, and being generally unaware of time passing in the world around me (the only way i know what day it is is by whats on the TV, and whether people are home or not - weekends), i didnt know what week we started up again, and missed the first 2 or 3 sessions. and then there was a lot of family stuff going on, so after the one week i attended, i have missed 2 more weeks.
so last night, while my husband used my computer to try and fill out some questionnaire for a job interview (his computer has a funky keyboard thing going on at the moment and he wasnt sure he trusted it), i got my Cheat Bible and started reading. (my bible has cheat notes - notes on the meaning of the text, cross references, questions to make you think, all that stuff. some pages have so much in the way of cheat notes that there is only a line or two of biblical text at the top of the page, and the rest is full of notes and cross references.)
i like colossians. some books are boring, but colossians speaks to me. so i read most of the way through it, even though i only planned on reading one chapter. and of course, i have my cheat notes, so my inner Random Link Clicker turned into Page Flicker, and i kept chasing those references.
colossians does not have an awful lot to say in the way of "rules for christian households", as it is headed in my Cheat Bible - just a line each to women, men, children, and fathers, a few sentences to slaves, and a little to masters - but my cheat notes directed me to see also ephesians 5:21 - 6:9, which expands on the matter somewhat.
something that i noticed in this passage, even before i read the cheat notes, is that paul has a lot more to say to men about loving their wives, than he does to women in regards submitting to their husbands. and also, that the whole section is preceded by one important instruction. eph 5:21 "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
a lot of people see the 'submit' instruction as demeaning of women, and there are a lot of men who will seek to use it to their own advantage. the surrendered wives movement comes to mind here. the wives submit to their husbands, yes, but are the husbands loving their wives? ephesians 5:25 - 33 instructs men not only to love their wives, but to love them "just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her", and to "love their wives as their own bodies." now, i'm sure there are couples involved in the surrendered wives movement for whom this is the case, but there are some where is isnt. that isnt really the point here though. the point is whether 'submitting' is demeaning, or makes us somehow lesser.
but theres that preceding note again. "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
my cheat notes have some interesting points on how men are to love their wives. "he should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. he should make her well being of primary importance. he should care for her as he cares for his own body." isnt that a form of submission? submitting to her needs, putting her first. he does not take advantage of HER submission by refusing his own.
this is not to say that we as wives should not submit to our husband's leadership. we should put him first in all things. support him, help him, however and whenever we are needed. but if he loves us as Christ loves the church, if he submits, in his own way, by sacrificing everything for us, then our submission is no cause for distress, and is in no way demeaning for us.
my husband loves me. and he serves me. he gets up to the randomly screaming child during the night when i've already been up 4 times. he lets me sleep in after said night. he cooks wonderfully delicious food. he buys me pretty things. he takes absolute delight in bringing me home little surprise gifts. he comforts me when i am in distress (which has been quite a bit lately and will be quite a bit more around christmas). he helps me when i just dont know what to do. he asks for my opinion. he CARES about my opinion. why should it be any trouble, or in any way demeaning, for me to submit to a man like this, who has nothing but my best interests at heart?
i do everything in my power to make my husband happy. make sure he has clean clothes, hot food, and a (reasonably) tidy house. if he wants something i'm not too keen on, i tell him why, but if he still wants it, so be it. he is my husband, and he has my best interests at heart. and so far, every time our opinions have differed and things have gone 'his way', even when i wasn't so keen, it's been the right decision.
why should i not submit?
so last night, while my husband used my computer to try and fill out some questionnaire for a job interview (his computer has a funky keyboard thing going on at the moment and he wasnt sure he trusted it), i got my Cheat Bible and started reading. (my bible has cheat notes - notes on the meaning of the text, cross references, questions to make you think, all that stuff. some pages have so much in the way of cheat notes that there is only a line or two of biblical text at the top of the page, and the rest is full of notes and cross references.)
i like colossians. some books are boring, but colossians speaks to me. so i read most of the way through it, even though i only planned on reading one chapter. and of course, i have my cheat notes, so my inner Random Link Clicker turned into Page Flicker, and i kept chasing those references.
colossians does not have an awful lot to say in the way of "rules for christian households", as it is headed in my Cheat Bible - just a line each to women, men, children, and fathers, a few sentences to slaves, and a little to masters - but my cheat notes directed me to see also ephesians 5:21 - 6:9, which expands on the matter somewhat.
something that i noticed in this passage, even before i read the cheat notes, is that paul has a lot more to say to men about loving their wives, than he does to women in regards submitting to their husbands. and also, that the whole section is preceded by one important instruction. eph 5:21 "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
a lot of people see the 'submit' instruction as demeaning of women, and there are a lot of men who will seek to use it to their own advantage. the surrendered wives movement comes to mind here. the wives submit to their husbands, yes, but are the husbands loving their wives? ephesians 5:25 - 33 instructs men not only to love their wives, but to love them "just as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her", and to "love their wives as their own bodies." now, i'm sure there are couples involved in the surrendered wives movement for whom this is the case, but there are some where is isnt. that isnt really the point here though. the point is whether 'submitting' is demeaning, or makes us somehow lesser.
but theres that preceding note again. "submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
my cheat notes have some interesting points on how men are to love their wives. "he should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. he should make her well being of primary importance. he should care for her as he cares for his own body." isnt that a form of submission? submitting to her needs, putting her first. he does not take advantage of HER submission by refusing his own.
this is not to say that we as wives should not submit to our husband's leadership. we should put him first in all things. support him, help him, however and whenever we are needed. but if he loves us as Christ loves the church, if he submits, in his own way, by sacrificing everything for us, then our submission is no cause for distress, and is in no way demeaning for us.
my husband loves me. and he serves me. he gets up to the randomly screaming child during the night when i've already been up 4 times. he lets me sleep in after said night. he cooks wonderfully delicious food. he buys me pretty things. he takes absolute delight in bringing me home little surprise gifts. he comforts me when i am in distress (which has been quite a bit lately and will be quite a bit more around christmas). he helps me when i just dont know what to do. he asks for my opinion. he CARES about my opinion. why should it be any trouble, or in any way demeaning, for me to submit to a man like this, who has nothing but my best interests at heart?
i do everything in my power to make my husband happy. make sure he has clean clothes, hot food, and a (reasonably) tidy house. if he wants something i'm not too keen on, i tell him why, but if he still wants it, so be it. he is my husband, and he has my best interests at heart. and so far, every time our opinions have differed and things have gone 'his way', even when i wasn't so keen, it's been the right decision.
why should i not submit?
Friday 24 August 2007
spare knees?
anyone have any spare knees they'd like to give me? these ones arent very happy with me at the moment for some reason. i needed 2 applications of voltaren, a lot of stretching, and a scream into a pillow last night to get to a point where i was able to sleep, and its looking like heading that way again.
sometimes i wonder if my knees are wacky because of ballet, or if doing ballet simply made me aware of the problem sooner.
on an unrelated note, tonight i am FAT. the food at outback is simply too yummy. and i didnt even have room for dessert.
now i remember why i hate my birthday so much. people keep taking me out to dinner and i eat too much and ALL THE DIETING IS FOR NOUGHT. NOUGHT I TELL YOU!
but it tastes so good......
*sigh*
next week we return to our scheduled homecooked food. and hopefully lose any poundage that has attached itself to me this week.
some days im glad hubby has been blinded by love.
and now im babbling. bedtime. goodnight interweb. sweet dreams.
sometimes i wonder if my knees are wacky because of ballet, or if doing ballet simply made me aware of the problem sooner.
on an unrelated note, tonight i am FAT. the food at outback is simply too yummy. and i didnt even have room for dessert.
now i remember why i hate my birthday so much. people keep taking me out to dinner and i eat too much and ALL THE DIETING IS FOR NOUGHT. NOUGHT I TELL YOU!
but it tastes so good......
*sigh*
next week we return to our scheduled homecooked food. and hopefully lose any poundage that has attached itself to me this week.
some days im glad hubby has been blinded by love.
and now im babbling. bedtime. goodnight interweb. sweet dreams.
SING A ALPHABET?
the critter likes to sing the alphabet. doesnt do it perfectly, but hes getting better. we now get:
sing a alphabet mummy? A-B-C-D-E-F-G, H-I-K-K-LMOP, Q-R-S, T-U-V, W-X, W-and-Z, now know my A-B-C, negztime wone-joo sing wit me.
very cute.
even cuter is the fact that since daddy tells him to tell me what a good job im doing when i drive (i dont have a licence. im in the process of learning. driving is horrible), he tells me "good job mummy!" all the time. even when he sings the alphabet at me, and i dont join in.
"...sing wit me. good JOB mummy! you good girl! sing a alphabet again? A-B-C-D...."
i love that little man. he lights up my world.
EDIT: after singing it for the gazillionth time, the just said "chay". thats right folks, "aitch, eye, chay, kay". its not quite "jay" but its a lot closer than two "kay"s
sing a alphabet mummy? A-B-C-D-E-F-G, H-I-K-K-LMOP, Q-R-S, T-U-V, W-X, W-and-Z, now know my A-B-C, negztime wone-joo sing wit me.
very cute.
even cuter is the fact that since daddy tells him to tell me what a good job im doing when i drive (i dont have a licence. im in the process of learning. driving is horrible), he tells me "good job mummy!" all the time. even when he sings the alphabet at me, and i dont join in.
"...sing wit me. good JOB mummy! you good girl! sing a alphabet again? A-B-C-D...."
i love that little man. he lights up my world.
EDIT: after singing it for the gazillionth time, the just said "chay". thats right folks, "aitch, eye, chay, kay". its not quite "jay" but its a lot closer than two "kay"s
art
my fathers wife has written a children's book, and they want me to do the illustrations for it.
please pause while i say HUH??
i just dont know. my father thinks im the most amazing artist IN TEH WORLD! personally, i think i suck. i cant draw, im crap at painting, and i have no creativity. when i get the urge to paint, i just copy something. no original ideas. but they want me to illustrate this book.
maybe when i read it i'll be inspired, draw something awful, and they'll decide they dont want me after all.
yes, that "TEH" is on purpose.
EDIT: if i ever actually get to read it. sometimes not having microsoft products is annoying. i cannot open *.docx files. GRARGH. maybe she can send it to me as *.rtf?
please pause while i say HUH??
i just dont know. my father thinks im the most amazing artist IN TEH WORLD! personally, i think i suck. i cant draw, im crap at painting, and i have no creativity. when i get the urge to paint, i just copy something. no original ideas. but they want me to illustrate this book.
maybe when i read it i'll be inspired, draw something awful, and they'll decide they dont want me after all.
yes, that "TEH" is on purpose.
EDIT: if i ever actually get to read it. sometimes not having microsoft products is annoying. i cannot open *.docx files. GRARGH. maybe she can send it to me as *.rtf?
Wednesday 22 August 2007
blueberry muffins
when we went shopping yesterday, i noticed that there were punnets of blueberries in aldi. havent noticed them in there before.
"do you like blueberries love?"
"i like blueberry muffins, yes."
"well shall we get some blueberries and i can make you some muffins?"
i spent some time yesterday looking for recipes for lemonade, lemon sorbet, and blueberry muffins. fannie farmer has a recipe for lemon jelly, so that might come in handy.. found a lot of the same lemonade recipe online, and a lemon sorbet recipe thats basically frozen lemonade, so that should be good. blueberry muffins were a little harder. half the recipes looked odd, containing things like sour cream or unsweetened yoghurt, and the other half called for more blueberries than i had. i found a couple that looked ok, then i thought to look in fannie farmer. why didnt i look there to begin with? silly sarah.
the hardest thing to do was flouring the muffin tray. (i know from experience that greasing is not enough, and we dont have any patty-pans.) they cooked a little longer than the recipe suggested, because they just werent quite cooked. but they came out of the tray easily, and they smell fantastic. took one to hubby, who is painting the trim in the room now (hes so fantastic), and he said theyre delicious.
odd as it may sound, i have never eaten a blueberry before. im a very picky eater, and its not all to do with taste. some things i cant eat because of they way they feel. doesnt matter how good it tastes, if it feels weird in my mouth, i just cant eat it. (i love orange juice. cant eat oranges.) and blueberries look like they would feel very strange indeed. i was also suspicious of the taste. i cant stand strawberries, mangoes, raspberries, pears, pineapple, a lot of 'sweet' fruit actually. but hubby asked me to try it, so i cut a muffin in half, gave the remainder to the boy, and cautiously took a bite.
man, those things are JUICY! and not very evenly distributed in the batter. one half of the muffin was plain, the other half was 80%blueberry, with a little muffin around the edges. but they do in fact taste quite nice.
im slowly getting better about trying new foods. especially since i dont want my boy to be picky like me. he has enough trouble with things he CAN'T eat due to allergies, he doesnt need any more things he WON'T eat, just because. theres still a lot of stuff i wont eat, but im trying so hard to be good.
"do you like blueberries love?"
"i like blueberry muffins, yes."
"well shall we get some blueberries and i can make you some muffins?"
i spent some time yesterday looking for recipes for lemonade, lemon sorbet, and blueberry muffins. fannie farmer has a recipe for lemon jelly, so that might come in handy.. found a lot of the same lemonade recipe online, and a lemon sorbet recipe thats basically frozen lemonade, so that should be good. blueberry muffins were a little harder. half the recipes looked odd, containing things like sour cream or unsweetened yoghurt, and the other half called for more blueberries than i had. i found a couple that looked ok, then i thought to look in fannie farmer. why didnt i look there to begin with? silly sarah.
the hardest thing to do was flouring the muffin tray. (i know from experience that greasing is not enough, and we dont have any patty-pans.) they cooked a little longer than the recipe suggested, because they just werent quite cooked. but they came out of the tray easily, and they smell fantastic. took one to hubby, who is painting the trim in the room now (hes so fantastic), and he said theyre delicious.odd as it may sound, i have never eaten a blueberry before. im a very picky eater, and its not all to do with taste. some things i cant eat because of they way they feel. doesnt matter how good it tastes, if it feels weird in my mouth, i just cant eat it. (i love orange juice. cant eat oranges.) and blueberries look like they would feel very strange indeed. i was also suspicious of the taste. i cant stand strawberries, mangoes, raspberries, pears, pineapple, a lot of 'sweet' fruit actually. but hubby asked me to try it, so i cut a muffin in half, gave the remainder to the boy, and cautiously took a bite.
man, those things are JUICY! and not very evenly distributed in the batter. one half of the muffin was plain, the other half was 80%blueberry, with a little muffin around the edges. but they do in fact taste quite nice.
im slowly getting better about trying new foods. especially since i dont want my boy to be picky like me. he has enough trouble with things he CAN'T eat due to allergies, he doesnt need any more things he WON'T eat, just because. theres still a lot of stuff i wont eat, but im trying so hard to be good.
Tuesday 21 August 2007
a little hilarity in an afternoon of frustration
somebody recently took my sweet, snuggly, giggly boy, and replaced him with a clingy, whiny, stompy replica. he isnt sleeping, he's throwing tantrums, he disobeys nearly everything, and theres a lot of yelling. i think having daddy home all the time is confusing him.
last night was particularly bad - i think i got about 4 hours sleep, and hubby got up to him twice - and this afternoon was a nightmare. he was horrid, i was tired, hubby was in a bad mood.... but in the midst of all this, a little bright spot of hilarity broke though.
he was set to put away his toys, while hubby cooked the taco meat, and i tidied up the rest of the house. as i came back through from the other end of the house, he was walking around with a hard hat on his feet. (distraction is a MAJOR problem.)
"i asked you to put that away, not wear it as a shoe."
and i heard a snort from the other room.
sometimes the simplest things bring joy.
last night was particularly bad - i think i got about 4 hours sleep, and hubby got up to him twice - and this afternoon was a nightmare. he was horrid, i was tired, hubby was in a bad mood.... but in the midst of all this, a little bright spot of hilarity broke though.
he was set to put away his toys, while hubby cooked the taco meat, and i tidied up the rest of the house. as i came back through from the other end of the house, he was walking around with a hard hat on his feet. (distraction is a MAJOR problem.)
"i asked you to put that away, not wear it as a shoe."
and i heard a snort from the other room.
sometimes the simplest things bring joy.
now i am old
yesterday i turned 25. i am now Old. my husband is Old-plus-two.
all in all it was a pretty good birthday. the girls took me out to fondue last thursday, which was brilliant, and pia gave me some gorgeous flowers, "in the tradition of school birthdays" (all girls school, we didnt give presents on birthdays, we gave flowers), hubby let me sleep in ridiculously, and took me out to lunch, dad and sylvia gave me a nice set of chopsticks and what im assuming is a sushi dish set... im sure i'll think of a use for it. my sister gave me a foam head (WOOT!!) and a DVD of marie antoinette, and hubby&critter got me seasons 2-4 of stargate. mum already gave me money a while ago to buy boots, and the leftover has been used to buy some oilpaints, and now i have to find something else to spend $40 on as a birthday present.
the only downside was at lunch yesterday. something my son ate at chillis disagreed with him. we know theres no egg in the cheese sticks, because we asked last time, and he had no reaction then, so maybe there was something in the hotdog he had, but whatever it was, his tongue swelled up in a slightly alarming manner, causing him to move it around oddly - trying to make it feel better i think - and talk very badly.
i am so thankful to God that thats all that happened. a slight tongue swelling. no facial or throat swelling, no rash - his usual reaction to just about anything - no pain, just one side of his tongue swelling to double. but since allergies can get worse with exposure, he sure isnt having a hotdog at chillis again any time soon. pasta next time.
who would have thought a hotdog could cause an allergic reaction? maybe it had chicken or turkey in it.
and if it HAD been worse, we were only about 10minutes - TOPS - from the children's hospital. thankyou God.
all in all it was a pretty good birthday. the girls took me out to fondue last thursday, which was brilliant, and pia gave me some gorgeous flowers, "in the tradition of school birthdays" (all girls school, we didnt give presents on birthdays, we gave flowers), hubby let me sleep in ridiculously, and took me out to lunch, dad and sylvia gave me a nice set of chopsticks and what im assuming is a sushi dish set... im sure i'll think of a use for it. my sister gave me a foam head (WOOT!!) and a DVD of marie antoinette, and hubby&critter got me seasons 2-4 of stargate. mum already gave me money a while ago to buy boots, and the leftover has been used to buy some oilpaints, and now i have to find something else to spend $40 on as a birthday present.the only downside was at lunch yesterday. something my son ate at chillis disagreed with him. we know theres no egg in the cheese sticks, because we asked last time, and he had no reaction then, so maybe there was something in the hotdog he had, but whatever it was, his tongue swelled up in a slightly alarming manner, causing him to move it around oddly - trying to make it feel better i think - and talk very badly.
i am so thankful to God that thats all that happened. a slight tongue swelling. no facial or throat swelling, no rash - his usual reaction to just about anything - no pain, just one side of his tongue swelling to double. but since allergies can get worse with exposure, he sure isnt having a hotdog at chillis again any time soon. pasta next time.
who would have thought a hotdog could cause an allergic reaction? maybe it had chicken or turkey in it.
and if it HAD been worse, we were only about 10minutes - TOPS - from the children's hospital. thankyou God.
Monday 20 August 2007
cutie pie
on thursday we painted the walls. green. guess who wanted to help? he got the smallest paintbrush we could find, so not too much paint got wasted. and we had to show him where to paint, over and over again. and again.and again.
daddy had to paint over it, to make sure it was all smoothed out and no white patches showing through, but he had fun, and he enjoyed helping. now if only i could figure out how to get paint out of that shirt...please excuse the me in the background. i normally try to avoid having my picture taken, but i was focused on keeping him from painting himself, and didnt notice hubby.
door knockers
on saturday night, my sister had a housewarming party. (residence reheating, really, since she's been there a few months already.) since she had to work on saturday, and is also quite low on cash at the moment, and i was baking anyway, i made a couple batches of cookies, and some cheese-straws for the party. hubby and i tried the cheese-straws, and he decided they would be really good with some sort of salsa or marinara sauce to go with them, so i found a recipe for him, and then went back to the sewing machine to finish off the present i was making for my sister. the critter was put down for a late nap, since we knew we would be out till probably at least nine, and while he slept, we worked.
then there was a ring on the doorbell. not wanting it to ring again and risk waking up the sleeper, i rushed to the door, wondering who on earth it could be, at 5pm on a saturday.
there were two men and a woman standing at the door, and from the suits my initial thought was 'ah, mormons. um.. on a saturday night?'
"hello-i-am-from-a-church-may-i-ask-do-you-go-to-church?" confusion for a second as i tried to get my head around the accent - my guess is either korean or japanese from their faces - then.. "yes, i do."
"aha. what-church-do-you-go-to?"
"one in concord."
he then told me he was from the Church of Christ (or maybe it was the Church of God, i was trying to keep an ear out to see if the child had woken up or not), and asked me if i had ever heard of the Heavenly Mother. (he really sounded like he was talking with capitals)
"uh... mary?" maybe theyre catholics.. catholics revere mary due to her exalted status as Jesus' mother.... wait.. catholics door-knocking on a saturday night? i was a bit confused by now.
he looked... either confused or surprised. im not sure. then he said something about mary being Jesus' mother, but the Heavenly Mother is Jesus' wife!!!
and thats the point at which i realised my husband was standing behind me, because suddenly a voice said "look, thankyou, but we really arent interested." and he started to close the door.
"its-in-the-bible!" from the other guy. he repeated that a few times as my husband continued to close the door. "please-let-us-read-you-just-one-.." from the first guy, trying to keep the door open.
"look, really, we arent interested. thankyou."
"ITS-YOUR-SALVATION!!" from the woman. she seemed almost frantic.
but my husband closed the door on them, with a final "thankyou".
the last thing i heard from them was "its-your-salvation!" repeated as the door was shut.
well yes, it is. and thats why i'm thankful to my husband for closing the door.
its in the bible? where? i dont recall ever reading "Jesus got married." "Jesus had a wife and 4 sons." "Jesus' family was devastated at His crucifiction, and comforted his mother mary in her grief." if Jesus was married, that would be a pretty big thing, and would surely have been significant enough to put in the bible.
other than what is written in the bible, we have no way of knowing the specifics of Jesus' life. i cant just go down to the registry of births deaths and marriages, look up Jesus, 1AD and go "ah yes, he was born in the year 4bc, married in 20ad, died in 34ad, father at least 6 children, etc etc etc." we rely on what is in the bible, and can only trust that it is fact. if someone wants to come to my door claiming the bible says Jesus was married, well, dont be surprised if i thankyou and shut the door.
but even ignoring all that, if you go to someones door, trying to spread what you believe to be the truth, then yes, you want them to listen, but if they say "thankyou, not interested", its just downright RUDE to try and keep the door open, and pressure them into listening to you. and shouting does not work.
then there was a ring on the doorbell. not wanting it to ring again and risk waking up the sleeper, i rushed to the door, wondering who on earth it could be, at 5pm on a saturday.
there were two men and a woman standing at the door, and from the suits my initial thought was 'ah, mormons. um.. on a saturday night?'
"hello-i-am-from-a-church-may-i-ask-do-you-go-to-church?" confusion for a second as i tried to get my head around the accent - my guess is either korean or japanese from their faces - then.. "yes, i do."
"aha. what-church-do-you-go-to?"
"one in concord."
he then told me he was from the Church of Christ (or maybe it was the Church of God, i was trying to keep an ear out to see if the child had woken up or not), and asked me if i had ever heard of the Heavenly Mother. (he really sounded like he was talking with capitals)
"uh... mary?" maybe theyre catholics.. catholics revere mary due to her exalted status as Jesus' mother.... wait.. catholics door-knocking on a saturday night? i was a bit confused by now.
he looked... either confused or surprised. im not sure. then he said something about mary being Jesus' mother, but the Heavenly Mother is Jesus' wife!!!
and thats the point at which i realised my husband was standing behind me, because suddenly a voice said "look, thankyou, but we really arent interested." and he started to close the door.
"its-in-the-bible!" from the other guy. he repeated that a few times as my husband continued to close the door. "please-let-us-read-you-just-one-.." from the first guy, trying to keep the door open.
"look, really, we arent interested. thankyou."
"ITS-YOUR-SALVATION!!" from the woman. she seemed almost frantic.
but my husband closed the door on them, with a final "thankyou".
the last thing i heard from them was "its-your-salvation!" repeated as the door was shut.
well yes, it is. and thats why i'm thankful to my husband for closing the door.
its in the bible? where? i dont recall ever reading "Jesus got married." "Jesus had a wife and 4 sons." "Jesus' family was devastated at His crucifiction, and comforted his mother mary in her grief." if Jesus was married, that would be a pretty big thing, and would surely have been significant enough to put in the bible.
other than what is written in the bible, we have no way of knowing the specifics of Jesus' life. i cant just go down to the registry of births deaths and marriages, look up Jesus, 1AD and go "ah yes, he was born in the year 4bc, married in 20ad, died in 34ad, father at least 6 children, etc etc etc." we rely on what is in the bible, and can only trust that it is fact. if someone wants to come to my door claiming the bible says Jesus was married, well, dont be surprised if i thankyou and shut the door.
but even ignoring all that, if you go to someones door, trying to spread what you believe to be the truth, then yes, you want them to listen, but if they say "thankyou, not interested", its just downright RUDE to try and keep the door open, and pressure them into listening to you. and shouting does not work.
Saturday 18 August 2007
spring has sprung
i know i know, technically its still a couple weeks away, but for me, the first sprig of jasmine in the yard tells me spring has sprung. there have been occasional random single blooms for a while now, but today, i saw the first sprig, and now its making my house smell good.
spring has sprung.
Friday 17 August 2007
cheese is good.
fondue.yum.
that is all.
yes i know thats chocolate. i didnt get a picture of the cheese.
Wednesday 15 August 2007
the past few days.....
have been very stressful, but very very satisfying.
the paint came up well, the colours were all good, but we decided the green should be a little less blue, and hubby went back to bunnings and got a different colour, which is just perfect.
the gaps between the floorboards and the walls have been filled in, the cracks down the walls are done, the curtain rail thing is down. the blinds need to be taken down before the window gets painted, and will probably need to be replaced, since they are a good 20 years old, and rather gross now. the window has a crack in it, and damp gets in when it rains, making the blind all mouldy. so the window really needs fixing too.
yesterday there was a blackout. so we went down the shops to try and find a laundry hamper. we found a nice one in target. $160. NO THANKYOU.
so today we went back to bunnings again, to get sealer and more drop sheets, and got some kids acrylic paint at the same time, and while daddy sanded the walls, kidlet and i painted a couple of the boxes for aunty's residence re-heating (housewarming) present, and i'm making new linings as well.
since hubby isnt working, he's been doing a lot of stuff on the room, and ive been helping him (mostly by keeping the critter out of harms way the past couple days.)
the paint came up well, the colours were all good, but we decided the green should be a little less blue, and hubby went back to bunnings and got a different colour, which is just perfect.so on saturday we went to the paint store, and we got our paints, and some gap filler and crack filler, a small roller, and a scraper to get rid of the wallpaper that mum and i couldnt reach 7 years ago because the wardrobe was too heavy to move.
so, two coats of each colour, flat ceiling, gloss trimmings, low sheen wall, and the window will have white inside because that much brown would be overpowering.
the gaps between the floorboards and the walls have been filled in, the cracks down the walls are done, the curtain rail thing is down. the blinds need to be taken down before the window gets painted, and will probably need to be replaced, since they are a good 20 years old, and rather gross now. the window has a crack in it, and damp gets in when it rains, making the blind all mouldy. so the window really needs fixing too.washing down the walls with sugar soap made my shoulder ache, but hubby was nice enough to voltaren it for me, after a massage. isnt he sweet?
yesterday there was a blackout. so we went down the shops to try and find a laundry hamper. we found a nice one in target. $160. NO THANKYOU. we found a SET in kmart, 2 hampers, 5 small baskets, wicker, lined. $80. well. its still too expensive, but there wasnt anything anywhere else, so we got it. get to the checkout, its $55, and theres a discount, so its only $35. so we now have a hamper for us, one for the kid, and some random baskets.
so today we went back to bunnings again, to get sealer and more drop sheets, and got some kids acrylic paint at the same time, and while daddy sanded the walls, kidlet and i painted a couple of the boxes for aunty's residence re-heating (housewarming) present, and i'm making new linings as well.the room is completely covered in plastic, so the furniture left in there doesnt get covered in dust when hubby sanded, and wont get dripped on when we paint.
EDIT: and apparently hubby has painted most of the ceiling part. YAY!!!!!!!!!! walls are sealed, top part is done, that just leaves walls and trim! wooooooooooo!!!
Thursday 9 August 2007
more house things!!
and now we have SHEETS!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOO!!!
500thread count pure cotton sheet set - flat sheet, fitted sheet, 2 pillow cases
mattress protector
4 pillow protectors
new child sized pillow for the critter, cause his was horribly horribly disgusting
less than 200$. i love the sales at spotlight.
we could have got the 1000thread count pure cotton sheet set... but it cost 300$. yes, you read that right. wonderfully soft though.
we also decided on some paint colours.... my room started getting painted in 2000. its about 2/3 done.. i think... and we dont like the colour. so... NEW PAINT!!! picked out colours we think we like, bought little sample pots to make sure it looks ok once its in the room, and if it does, we'll be going back and getting more, probably on the weekend.
and it will finally feel like home.
you have no idea how content i feel right now, despite all the blargh going on.
500thread count pure cotton sheet set - flat sheet, fitted sheet, 2 pillow cases
mattress protector
4 pillow protectors
new child sized pillow for the critter, cause his was horribly horribly disgusting
less than 200$. i love the sales at spotlight.
we could have got the 1000thread count pure cotton sheet set... but it cost 300$. yes, you read that right. wonderfully soft though.
we also decided on some paint colours.... my room started getting painted in 2000. its about 2/3 done.. i think... and we dont like the colour. so... NEW PAINT!!! picked out colours we think we like, bought little sample pots to make sure it looks ok once its in the room, and if it does, we'll be going back and getting more, probably on the weekend.
and it will finally feel like home.
you have no idea how content i feel right now, despite all the blargh going on.
Tuesday 7 August 2007
pillows
did i mention part of the deal with the new mattress was two free pillows? hubby is a salesman, so hes very forward asking for the best deal.. and the mattress guy knocked $200 off the price, and threw in free delivery and 2 pillows. doesnt sound like much, but these pillows are valued at $70-100. each, i think. theyre latex or something... super super dense (no pillow fights with these. it would HURT), apparently hold their shape for YEARS.
he used one of them on sunday night, and he tried them both out last night. (sleeps with two pillows.) im waiting to see if he wants to swap one for my normal pillow. he was a little... not nervous.. suspicious? i cant think of the word, but you get the idea. he wasnt sure if he would like sleeping on two of them, or if he preferred it with one, and one normal.
so now i wait till he gets home tonight. i wasnt awake enough this morning to see how he coped. considering he didnt say anything, im assuming it was ok though.
he used one of them on sunday night, and he tried them both out last night. (sleeps with two pillows.) im waiting to see if he wants to swap one for my normal pillow. he was a little... not nervous.. suspicious? i cant think of the word, but you get the idea. he wasnt sure if he would like sleeping on two of them, or if he preferred it with one, and one normal.
so now i wait till he gets home tonight. i wasnt awake enough this morning to see how he coped. considering he didnt say anything, im assuming it was ok though.
Monday 6 August 2007
i am not bored.
my mother worries about me. well, thats what mothers do. its WHY she worries about me that bothers me.
apparently i am bored. i am bored, because i spend all day at home with my son, cooking, and cleaning, playing with blocks, singing songs, learning the alphabet, and numbers, and occasionally reading a book, by myself, with more than 20 pages.
obviously, this is boring.
today, i packed everything back into the mildew drawer, cleaned out the shirt drawer and the PJ drawers, reorganised said drawers, and the singlet drawer, cleared out the wardrobe (with the help of my wonderful hubby), put away two loads of wash, made the bed (usually doesnt happen because i dont see the point), made a roast dinner, and spent the entire day wrangling a nearly 3yr old in a very bad mood, who threw himself on the floor and screamed every time i asked him to do anything. i didnt get up till 8:30, because i didnt sleep last night, and hubby got home around 4:30. i had a longer than usual shower cause it was TOO COLD this morning, and i had to wash my hair. i was curled up in the cot for 45 min or so because it was the only way to get the critter to calm down. we read books. we played puzzles. we sang. i washed dishes. obviously, today was boring.
my mother moved from the US to england when she was about 16. she didnt go to school once she moved, but started working straight away. she didnt have children til she was 35. she worked for nearly 20years straight, before she had children and stayed at home. this would have been quite a change for her. and she thinks that because SHE was bored at home, i must be. she took me to playgroup and gym and all sorts of stuff, to not be bored. and she started working part time once my sister was in school.
this is what can happen when women put off having children til after they have had a career. such a change of lifestyle! such a change of responsibilities. i honestly dont know how people do it. and thats the problem. some dont. they wait and wait and wait to have children, and then once they do, they cant handle it.
i dont have this problem.
i hated school. i didnt (and still dont) see the point of learning how to calculate SINE, when as a secretary, or video/book-store clerk, or mother, i would absolutely never need to use it. (i took maths because i had to. i took physics because i enjoyed it. equally useless for me, but interesting. even at 17, when i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life, i knew it would not involve any maths more complicated than long division) i went to university for a semester (nearly) because it was expected. i stopped going before the first exams, because i hated it. i never went back.
around my 19th birthday, i started working for my father, as a secretary. after just over a year - 16 months i think - family problems and my own mental state took a turn for the worse, and i moved from australia to the US, and stayed with my cousin. worked 3 days a week as a clerk in a video store, for just over a year. met hubby, got pregnant, got married, came back to australia. and ive been at home ever since. i havent had time to get used to being in the workforce, doing things only for myself.
i finished school at 18. my son was born a month after my 22nd birthday.
this IS my job. i am not bored.
apparently i am bored. i am bored, because i spend all day at home with my son, cooking, and cleaning, playing with blocks, singing songs, learning the alphabet, and numbers, and occasionally reading a book, by myself, with more than 20 pages.
obviously, this is boring.
today, i packed everything back into the mildew drawer, cleaned out the shirt drawer and the PJ drawers, reorganised said drawers, and the singlet drawer, cleared out the wardrobe (with the help of my wonderful hubby), put away two loads of wash, made the bed (usually doesnt happen because i dont see the point), made a roast dinner, and spent the entire day wrangling a nearly 3yr old in a very bad mood, who threw himself on the floor and screamed every time i asked him to do anything. i didnt get up till 8:30, because i didnt sleep last night, and hubby got home around 4:30. i had a longer than usual shower cause it was TOO COLD this morning, and i had to wash my hair. i was curled up in the cot for 45 min or so because it was the only way to get the critter to calm down. we read books. we played puzzles. we sang. i washed dishes. obviously, today was boring.
my mother moved from the US to england when she was about 16. she didnt go to school once she moved, but started working straight away. she didnt have children til she was 35. she worked for nearly 20years straight, before she had children and stayed at home. this would have been quite a change for her. and she thinks that because SHE was bored at home, i must be. she took me to playgroup and gym and all sorts of stuff, to not be bored. and she started working part time once my sister was in school.
this is what can happen when women put off having children til after they have had a career. such a change of lifestyle! such a change of responsibilities. i honestly dont know how people do it. and thats the problem. some dont. they wait and wait and wait to have children, and then once they do, they cant handle it.
i dont have this problem.
i hated school. i didnt (and still dont) see the point of learning how to calculate SINE, when as a secretary, or video/book-store clerk, or mother, i would absolutely never need to use it. (i took maths because i had to. i took physics because i enjoyed it. equally useless for me, but interesting. even at 17, when i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life, i knew it would not involve any maths more complicated than long division) i went to university for a semester (nearly) because it was expected. i stopped going before the first exams, because i hated it. i never went back.
around my 19th birthday, i started working for my father, as a secretary. after just over a year - 16 months i think - family problems and my own mental state took a turn for the worse, and i moved from australia to the US, and stayed with my cousin. worked 3 days a week as a clerk in a video store, for just over a year. met hubby, got pregnant, got married, came back to australia. and ive been at home ever since. i havent had time to get used to being in the workforce, doing things only for myself.
i finished school at 18. my son was born a month after my 22nd birthday.
this IS my job. i am not bored.
ARGH! BIRTHDAY!
2 weeks. 2 WEEKS till a quarter century. 25 years. where has all the time gone? i still feel like im 18.
i know im so much more grown up than i was back then. moving away from home (to another country even!), getting married, and having a baby will tend to do that to you. i KNOW i've matured a lot. but i dont feel 25. and my face certainly hasn't realised it yet. grr. pimples.
where has all the time gone?
i know im so much more grown up than i was back then. moving away from home (to another country even!), getting married, and having a baby will tend to do that to you. i KNOW i've matured a lot. but i dont feel 25. and my face certainly hasn't realised it yet. grr. pimples.
where has all the time gone?
Sunday 5 August 2007
hoorah!
our bank account is greatly diminished! hoorah! well.. it will be in two weeks. why is this a good thing? i'll tell you.
the pile of books on the floor, three deep and mid-thigh high, will be no more. we bought a bookcase yesterday. finally. 90cm high, 160cm wide, will fit exactly under the window, in a very aesthetically pleasing manner.
but surely, i hear you cry, a bookcase shouldnt diminish your bank account THAT much? well no. but while we were in the pine trader's, looking for a bookcase, we also saw a bedframe. now, the pine trader has a lot of stuff, you wander around, find something you like, tell them the measurements you want, and the colour, and they tell you how much it will be. in another room, they have seconds, and in another room, they have what i assume is stuff someone ordered, then decided they didnt want. thats the room the bedframe was in. both of us loved it, and its a queen, which we've been wanting for a while. (a double is just a little bit too small for two adults who wiggle a lot in their sleep.) it was not QUITE the right colour, but it was close, it was cheap ($500 for a bedframe? SCORE!), and we loved it. so today we went back, to make sure we actually like it as much as we thought, and we bought it.
well, thats still not enough to GREATLY diminish a bank account. but since our bed is only a double, we also needed A MATTRESS!!!! HOORAH! and THATS where the great diminishing of the bank account happened. but it was ALL WORTH IT. the mattress is SO COMFY. the bed is gorgeous. the bookcase is lovely, and we will no longer have piles of books on the floor.
so i am HAPPY that our bank account is low now. and taxes soon, so we'll probably get it all back anyway.
the only thing left now is to rearrange the room so everything fits where it needs to, and to buy sheets. my job is sheets, jon's is rearrangement. he already knows where he's putting everything. i have no idea what colour sheets i want. his only preference is not black, not pink, not red. im thinking green. now if only spotlight have a sale next week.....
the pile of books on the floor, three deep and mid-thigh high, will be no more. we bought a bookcase yesterday. finally. 90cm high, 160cm wide, will fit exactly under the window, in a very aesthetically pleasing manner.
but surely, i hear you cry, a bookcase shouldnt diminish your bank account THAT much? well no. but while we were in the pine trader's, looking for a bookcase, we also saw a bedframe. now, the pine trader has a lot of stuff, you wander around, find something you like, tell them the measurements you want, and the colour, and they tell you how much it will be. in another room, they have seconds, and in another room, they have what i assume is stuff someone ordered, then decided they didnt want. thats the room the bedframe was in. both of us loved it, and its a queen, which we've been wanting for a while. (a double is just a little bit too small for two adults who wiggle a lot in their sleep.) it was not QUITE the right colour, but it was close, it was cheap ($500 for a bedframe? SCORE!), and we loved it. so today we went back, to make sure we actually like it as much as we thought, and we bought it.
well, thats still not enough to GREATLY diminish a bank account. but since our bed is only a double, we also needed A MATTRESS!!!! HOORAH! and THATS where the great diminishing of the bank account happened. but it was ALL WORTH IT. the mattress is SO COMFY. the bed is gorgeous. the bookcase is lovely, and we will no longer have piles of books on the floor.
so i am HAPPY that our bank account is low now. and taxes soon, so we'll probably get it all back anyway.
the only thing left now is to rearrange the room so everything fits where it needs to, and to buy sheets. my job is sheets, jon's is rearrangement. he already knows where he's putting everything. i have no idea what colour sheets i want. his only preference is not black, not pink, not red. im thinking green. now if only spotlight have a sale next week.....
Friday 3 August 2007
the workings of a toddlers mind
sit down and eat please "but mummy, i cant sit" SIT. DOWN. "i cant sit mummy!"
he says this to me AS HE IS IN THE PROCESS OF SITTING DOWN. yes you CAN sit, you are sitting down right now!!
what does he think he is saying to me? i dont want to?
on a toddler related note, im really not sure how to continue with the toilet training.
~~~~~~~~~TMI post to follow!!~~~~~~~~~
unless he has a severely upset stomach (i am SO not letting him eat more than 1 dried apricot a day, ever ever again. it was bad) and it just.. leaks... he invariably tells me before he has to poo. he says hes already done it, but he's still getting his talking straight. so off we go to the toilet, and depending on how urgent he seems, i either put him straight on the toilet seat, or take a minute to put his very own special toddler sized seat on. then he goes, all is well, we have a happy boy, and the day can continue. other than fruit induced stomach upsets, ive only had ONE pair of pooey pants in the past couple months. this is good!!!
what im not sure about it is how to deal with the wee side of things. "i needa do wee mummy!" no you dont, you just did it all over the floor. admittedly, its not as messy as if he had it the other way round, but its still annoying, and i just dont know what to do. he's getting better, and that extreme happens very rarely now. usually he just does a little wee, then off we go to the toilet. and by little, i mean a wet patch the size of his palm, or smaller, in his underpants ("i YUV bloo onda-pans mummy!") and occasionally through to his trousers. but how do i get it from a small wee, then off to the toilet, all the way to NOTHING, just asking to go to the toilet? is he simply unaware of whats happening till hes already started? i just dont know what to do. do i keep asking him every half hour if he needs to go, and hope he understands? do i let him run around completely naked from the waist down? do i put the wet underwear back on him so he sees how uncomfortable it is and is more motivated to do things 'properly'? im lost here.
~~~~~~~ end TMI ~~~~~~~
and on ANOTHER toddler related note, i bet you didnt know youve been singing the alphabet wrong for all these years.
A B C D E F G, H I K K L..P. Q R S, T U V, W X, Y and Z. now my my my A B C, nextime wone joo sing wivme.
i think hes doing pretty well considering his only words till the age of about 2 were "hi" and "mamamamamamamamamamamama". i cannot convince him that the first K is actually J, and he cannot grasp L-M-N-O-P, just says L..P rather quickly, but hes out of the infinite loop (ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP. QRS, TUV, WX, Y&Z, now i know my ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP... etc etc ad infinitum) and he actually says ZED instead of ZEE. he hasnt been corrupted by all the american TV yet. and his timing is almost perfect. other than L..P. hes pretty much grasped the tune, too. my clever, clever critter.
he can also sing twinkle twinkle, most of insy-winsy-spider, and parts of bob the builder theme song. i am so PROUD. edit: also row, row, row your boat. and brush, brush, brush your hair. dont ask.
he says this to me AS HE IS IN THE PROCESS OF SITTING DOWN. yes you CAN sit, you are sitting down right now!!
what does he think he is saying to me? i dont want to?
on a toddler related note, im really not sure how to continue with the toilet training.
~~~~~~~~~TMI post to follow!!~~~~~~~~~
unless he has a severely upset stomach (i am SO not letting him eat more than 1 dried apricot a day, ever ever again. it was bad) and it just.. leaks... he invariably tells me before he has to poo. he says hes already done it, but he's still getting his talking straight. so off we go to the toilet, and depending on how urgent he seems, i either put him straight on the toilet seat, or take a minute to put his very own special toddler sized seat on. then he goes, all is well, we have a happy boy, and the day can continue. other than fruit induced stomach upsets, ive only had ONE pair of pooey pants in the past couple months. this is good!!!
what im not sure about it is how to deal with the wee side of things. "i needa do wee mummy!" no you dont, you just did it all over the floor. admittedly, its not as messy as if he had it the other way round, but its still annoying, and i just dont know what to do. he's getting better, and that extreme happens very rarely now. usually he just does a little wee, then off we go to the toilet. and by little, i mean a wet patch the size of his palm, or smaller, in his underpants ("i YUV bloo onda-pans mummy!") and occasionally through to his trousers. but how do i get it from a small wee, then off to the toilet, all the way to NOTHING, just asking to go to the toilet? is he simply unaware of whats happening till hes already started? i just dont know what to do. do i keep asking him every half hour if he needs to go, and hope he understands? do i let him run around completely naked from the waist down? do i put the wet underwear back on him so he sees how uncomfortable it is and is more motivated to do things 'properly'? im lost here.
~~~~~~~ end TMI ~~~~~~~
and on ANOTHER toddler related note, i bet you didnt know youve been singing the alphabet wrong for all these years.
A B C D E F G, H I K K L..P. Q R S, T U V, W X, Y and Z. now my my my A B C, nextime wone joo sing wivme.
i think hes doing pretty well considering his only words till the age of about 2 were "hi" and "mamamamamamamamamamamama". i cannot convince him that the first K is actually J, and he cannot grasp L-M-N-O-P, just says L..P rather quickly, but hes out of the infinite loop (ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP. QRS, TUV, WX, Y&Z, now i know my ABCDEFG, HIJKLMNOP... etc etc ad infinitum) and he actually says ZED instead of ZEE. he hasnt been corrupted by all the american TV yet. and his timing is almost perfect. other than L..P. hes pretty much grasped the tune, too. my clever, clever critter.
he can also sing twinkle twinkle, most of insy-winsy-spider, and parts of bob the builder theme song. i am so PROUD. edit: also row, row, row your boat. and brush, brush, brush your hair. dont ask.
sister dearest
my sister said something interesting yesterday.
"enough with the skirts already!" whats wrong with wearing skirts? "you look like a jew"
im not sure what to think.
- should i be offended that she doesnt think i look ok in a skirt?
- should i be amused that she is THAT worried about what other people think of ME, not of her?
- should i be worried that she apparently hates jews so much that she doesnt want her sister to look like one?
- should i just accept that my sister is often a nitwit, and continue to do whatever i want, as my husband keeps telling me?
the rest of the conversation:
im more comfortable in a skirt. and i dont have to worry about my backside (i may in fact have said arse, since i was anxious to get home and cook dinner, and i was in a bad mood after watching her and my father fight for a couple of hours) hanging out every time i sit down. (or muffin-tops, although that didnt cross my mind at the time) "yeah. well. thats what you think" (in a silly voice, granted. she wasnt actually disagreeing with me on that)
sometimes i dont understand my sister. i am comfortable in a skirt. im not flashing my rear end at the world every time i sit down. (i have come to the conclusion that jeans are made for standing around looking good in, not for sitting down in everyday life. the best belt in the world wont hide my underwear from an unwary passerby if i sit down. and no-one makes tops long enough for tall people like me. there must be some somewhere, but i cant find them. grrrrrrrrrrrr.) if someone sees me wearing a skirt and immediately thinks JEW! or MUSLIM! or YOU MEAN THERES ACTUALLY SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WEAR JEANS???? isnt that their problem for being ignorant? despite which, i dont wear a headscarf, and im obviously not wearing a wig (my hair would be much much neater) so why would they? anyone outside st ives or the eastern suburbs probably wouldnt know enough to think JEW! and anyone IN those areas would recognise the lack of wig, and the lack of anything other than hair on my sons head, and think i must just like skirts.
i also dont always understand my sisters view in relation to religion. she considers herself a christian. she often makes much of the fact that my husband is NOT, because he is catholic (oh the horror!!!!) and doesnt attend church. (he feels uncomfortable in any church that isnt catholic, and despises catholic churches. kinda hard to win there.)
lets take a look at the two of them shall we?
my husband has a firm belief in God, in Christ. he prays. he provides for his family, he protects his wife and son. he does not attend church.
my sister has a firm belief in God, in Christ. she prays. she attends church, sometimes. she attends bible study.
other than attending church, what is the difference? nothing. absolutely nothing.
i have problems with my sister. many many problems. her hypocrisy annoys me greatly. you cannot claim it is wrong to so much as kiss a boy before you are married to him, and then go make out with some random guy you are never going to see again, because he lives in europe somewhere (sweden i think she said) and you live in australia, and it is your last night in san fransisco, and you are both drunk. you cannot refuse to lead part of the church service because "women shall not teach, or have authority over men", then constantly lecture your father and brother-in-law. its hypocritical.
she claims she was not a christian back when she was getting drunk a lot, even though she claimed she was back then. i dont agree with this. i dont believe she wasnt a christian just because she did bad things. her belief in God hasnt changed any, just her attitudes towards how she lives her life. she might not have been a very GOOD christian, but actions do not negate belief. belief should temper your actions, but it doesnt always happen.
i consider myself a christian. i always have. i was raised as a christian, i attended church, i believe in God. i believe Jesus is God/God's son (my brain hurts too much if i try to unravel all that in a satisfactory manner, so i just leave it), that He loves me, died for me, and forgives me. much to my fathers horror. (hasidic jew. wishes we were too.) just because i lived with my husband before we were married, and we were in fact Naughty (6 months pregnant at wedding. uh-huh.), does not mean i was not a christian. i just wasnt doing things right. i have prayed, confessed my sins, and asked for forgiveness. and i am confident that it has been given. isnt that the basis of our faith?
we are not an acts based faith. my father does good deeds, as many as he can, in order to get on God's good side, and get into heaven. (he also believes that getting married wipes away all your sins and leaves you with a clean slate. lets not even go there.) christianity is not like that, and many people have problems with christianity because of that. "joe bloggs is a murderer. he killed 17 people, and will be executed next week. but he has found God, become a christian, and is truly repentant for his sins. he is going to heaven." "alice smith is a lovely woman. she looks after sick wildlife, gives money to the poor, and helps out once a week at a retirement village. she is not a christian. she is not going to heaven."
people have a problem with that.
joe is BAD, he killed people. he should go to hell. but God has forgiven him. Christ died for joe, just as much as He died for me, and you, and everyone else.
alice is GOOD, she helps people. she is A Nice Person. she should go to heaven.
God does not work that way. the only way to heaven is through Christ (NKJ, NIV). this is a very hard concept to accept, and to our sinful human nature, it does not seem fair. but think about this. God sent his son to die for us. is it really fair for someone to go to heaven who rejects this beautiful gift He has given us?
im rambling again. that happens a lot. ive never been good at coherence.
anyway, what is my point? it doesnt matter that my sister got drunk, that i didnt wait til marriage, that my husband doesnt attend church. all the good deeds in the world will not get you into heaven, do not make you a christian. doing bad things doesnt make you Not A Christian, although being a christian should make you want to do good things, in order to glorify God.
everyone sins every day. but we are so lucky to have such an awesome God that we can be confident in our forgiveness, because He loves us so much.
"enough with the skirts already!" whats wrong with wearing skirts? "you look like a jew"
im not sure what to think.
- should i be offended that she doesnt think i look ok in a skirt?
- should i be amused that she is THAT worried about what other people think of ME, not of her?
- should i be worried that she apparently hates jews so much that she doesnt want her sister to look like one?
- should i just accept that my sister is often a nitwit, and continue to do whatever i want, as my husband keeps telling me?
the rest of the conversation:
im more comfortable in a skirt. and i dont have to worry about my backside (i may in fact have said arse, since i was anxious to get home and cook dinner, and i was in a bad mood after watching her and my father fight for a couple of hours) hanging out every time i sit down. (or muffin-tops, although that didnt cross my mind at the time) "yeah. well. thats what you think" (in a silly voice, granted. she wasnt actually disagreeing with me on that)
sometimes i dont understand my sister. i am comfortable in a skirt. im not flashing my rear end at the world every time i sit down. (i have come to the conclusion that jeans are made for standing around looking good in, not for sitting down in everyday life. the best belt in the world wont hide my underwear from an unwary passerby if i sit down. and no-one makes tops long enough for tall people like me. there must be some somewhere, but i cant find them. grrrrrrrrrrrr.) if someone sees me wearing a skirt and immediately thinks JEW! or MUSLIM! or YOU MEAN THERES ACTUALLY SOMEONE WHO DOESNT WEAR JEANS???? isnt that their problem for being ignorant? despite which, i dont wear a headscarf, and im obviously not wearing a wig (my hair would be much much neater) so why would they? anyone outside st ives or the eastern suburbs probably wouldnt know enough to think JEW! and anyone IN those areas would recognise the lack of wig, and the lack of anything other than hair on my sons head, and think i must just like skirts.
i also dont always understand my sisters view in relation to religion. she considers herself a christian. she often makes much of the fact that my husband is NOT, because he is catholic (oh the horror!!!!) and doesnt attend church. (he feels uncomfortable in any church that isnt catholic, and despises catholic churches. kinda hard to win there.)
lets take a look at the two of them shall we?
my husband has a firm belief in God, in Christ. he prays. he provides for his family, he protects his wife and son. he does not attend church.
my sister has a firm belief in God, in Christ. she prays. she attends church, sometimes. she attends bible study.
other than attending church, what is the difference? nothing. absolutely nothing.
i have problems with my sister. many many problems. her hypocrisy annoys me greatly. you cannot claim it is wrong to so much as kiss a boy before you are married to him, and then go make out with some random guy you are never going to see again, because he lives in europe somewhere (sweden i think she said) and you live in australia, and it is your last night in san fransisco, and you are both drunk. you cannot refuse to lead part of the church service because "women shall not teach, or have authority over men", then constantly lecture your father and brother-in-law. its hypocritical.
she claims she was not a christian back when she was getting drunk a lot, even though she claimed she was back then. i dont agree with this. i dont believe she wasnt a christian just because she did bad things. her belief in God hasnt changed any, just her attitudes towards how she lives her life. she might not have been a very GOOD christian, but actions do not negate belief. belief should temper your actions, but it doesnt always happen.
i consider myself a christian. i always have. i was raised as a christian, i attended church, i believe in God. i believe Jesus is God/God's son (my brain hurts too much if i try to unravel all that in a satisfactory manner, so i just leave it), that He loves me, died for me, and forgives me. much to my fathers horror. (hasidic jew. wishes we were too.) just because i lived with my husband before we were married, and we were in fact Naughty (6 months pregnant at wedding. uh-huh.), does not mean i was not a christian. i just wasnt doing things right. i have prayed, confessed my sins, and asked for forgiveness. and i am confident that it has been given. isnt that the basis of our faith?
we are not an acts based faith. my father does good deeds, as many as he can, in order to get on God's good side, and get into heaven. (he also believes that getting married wipes away all your sins and leaves you with a clean slate. lets not even go there.) christianity is not like that, and many people have problems with christianity because of that. "joe bloggs is a murderer. he killed 17 people, and will be executed next week. but he has found God, become a christian, and is truly repentant for his sins. he is going to heaven." "alice smith is a lovely woman. she looks after sick wildlife, gives money to the poor, and helps out once a week at a retirement village. she is not a christian. she is not going to heaven."
people have a problem with that.
joe is BAD, he killed people. he should go to hell. but God has forgiven him. Christ died for joe, just as much as He died for me, and you, and everyone else.
alice is GOOD, she helps people. she is A Nice Person. she should go to heaven.
God does not work that way. the only way to heaven is through Christ (NKJ, NIV). this is a very hard concept to accept, and to our sinful human nature, it does not seem fair. but think about this. God sent his son to die for us. is it really fair for someone to go to heaven who rejects this beautiful gift He has given us?
im rambling again. that happens a lot. ive never been good at coherence.
anyway, what is my point? it doesnt matter that my sister got drunk, that i didnt wait til marriage, that my husband doesnt attend church. all the good deeds in the world will not get you into heaven, do not make you a christian. doing bad things doesnt make you Not A Christian, although being a christian should make you want to do good things, in order to glorify God.
everyone sins every day. but we are so lucky to have such an awesome God that we can be confident in our forgiveness, because He loves us so much.
Thursday 2 August 2007
cookies galore!
pia came over yesterday. we baked. we made choc chip cookies (note: next time, use more flour. maybe that way they wont flatten quite so much), and choc chip macaroons (note: this oven is actually as hot as it says it is. turn it down a little next time. too crunchy), and had BBQ chicken for lunch. it was a good day.
but now, with the applesauce raisin oatmeal cookies and cheese bread i made on tuesday, we have LOTS of baked stuff lying around. (anyone want some? either it will take some time to eat it all, or im going to get fat again.)
but this all got me thinking about the pantry. it is SO important to make sure the pantry is stocked properly. particularly for baking stuff. if im making dinner, and find i have no garlic, well.. ok.. lets use onions instead. no broccoli? ok, we'll have green beans instead. no red wine? use a little more spice! no tereyaki sauce? change tack, and make honey-soy instead. plan on making tacos, only to find we're out of tacos, and the mince is already cooking? chuck in a couple cans of crushed tomatoes, some italian herbs and some read wine, and boil some pasta. tada! dinner saved!
not so easy with baking.
this is what happened:
lets make cookies!! ok.. cream the butter and sugar, check. add flour. um. flour is full of weevils, because someone didnt put the lid on tight enough. um.. use wholemeal instead!!! yes! that works! baking powder... check. whats next.. vanilla. ok.. wheres the vanilla? red food dye.. blue food dye.. strawberry essence? browning? right.. no vanilla in these cookies then.. um.. maybe if i add some more sugar and some cocoa and they can be double chocolate? whats next.. choc chips! excellent.. that'll do. and into the oven.
they didnt turn out very well. wholemeal flour is good for bread, and pancakes, and even cakes. but not cookies. and guessing at how much cocoa to put in does not work when the recipe says "vanilla".
there are some things that work though. use ginger instead of cinnamon. use half honey (or golden syrup), half brown sugar instead of molasses. use lime, lemon and orange interchangably.
i make a point now of making sure i have more than enough of everything i could possibly want to bake with. and since flour and sugar only cost about 80c/kg, i can cook lots! hence why we have so many cookies. maybe i should take some to my dad today? oh wait.. they probably arent kosher. there goes that idea.
but now, with the applesauce raisin oatmeal cookies and cheese bread i made on tuesday, we have LOTS of baked stuff lying around. (anyone want some? either it will take some time to eat it all, or im going to get fat again.)
but this all got me thinking about the pantry. it is SO important to make sure the pantry is stocked properly. particularly for baking stuff. if im making dinner, and find i have no garlic, well.. ok.. lets use onions instead. no broccoli? ok, we'll have green beans instead. no red wine? use a little more spice! no tereyaki sauce? change tack, and make honey-soy instead. plan on making tacos, only to find we're out of tacos, and the mince is already cooking? chuck in a couple cans of crushed tomatoes, some italian herbs and some read wine, and boil some pasta. tada! dinner saved!
not so easy with baking.
this is what happened:
lets make cookies!! ok.. cream the butter and sugar, check. add flour. um. flour is full of weevils, because someone didnt put the lid on tight enough. um.. use wholemeal instead!!! yes! that works! baking powder... check. whats next.. vanilla. ok.. wheres the vanilla? red food dye.. blue food dye.. strawberry essence? browning? right.. no vanilla in these cookies then.. um.. maybe if i add some more sugar and some cocoa and they can be double chocolate? whats next.. choc chips! excellent.. that'll do. and into the oven.
they didnt turn out very well. wholemeal flour is good for bread, and pancakes, and even cakes. but not cookies. and guessing at how much cocoa to put in does not work when the recipe says "vanilla".
there are some things that work though. use ginger instead of cinnamon. use half honey (or golden syrup), half brown sugar instead of molasses. use lime, lemon and orange interchangably.
i make a point now of making sure i have more than enough of everything i could possibly want to bake with. and since flour and sugar only cost about 80c/kg, i can cook lots! hence why we have so many cookies. maybe i should take some to my dad today? oh wait.. they probably arent kosher. there goes that idea.
father
this is going to ramble even more than usual.. im not quite sure of my own thoughts, so im sorting things out as i type.
my father recently got married. july 1st actually. congrats to him. sylvia is lovely, her daughter is lovely, daughter's son and husband are lovely. all in all, i like my new step family. i wish they were christian, but we cant have everything, can we. (note: my father was raised nominatively christian, went to an anglican boarding school, but in his adult years decided to become jewish. since my mother would not convert, he COULD NOT convert, and this contributed a little to their split. i believe he has now converted, since sylvia is also a hasidic jew, and they were married in a religious ceremony. she even wore a wig to the wedding, although i believe she doesnt bother in everyday life.)
what i do not like is my father, and this bothers me. he is my father. i love him. i should also respect him. but i find it so hard. he is not a nice person, and he doesnt respect others. it is hard to respect someone who does not respect you. and it is hard to respect him, knowing how he treats sylvia, and my sister. and the absolute lack of respect he shows my mother. they are not together now, obviously, but they spent a great many years together. she is the mother of his only children. (he is 61, and sylvia must be close to that age, since her eldest daughter is 39, so the chances of anymore kids for my dad are very very slim.) and yet he shows up unannounced at our house, with his new wife, while my mother is here, and expects us to rush around happily making tea for him. my mother does not love my father anymore, but i can only imagine how awkward it must have been for her. and for sylvia. how would you feel turning up and your husbands ex-wifes house, and seeing the shock on her face as she realised who you were?
sylvia: my father treats her like a child. since i do not drive, and have a small child, i find it hard to travel around much further than the local shops, and my father lives at least an hour away by public transport, so i dont visit him much. but my sister does. and has witnessed him treating him exactly the same way he treated us as children. if she tries to help do something, and makes a mistake, she gets the Lecture Voice. loud, very enunciated, but not exactly yelling. STOP. PUT. IT. DOWN. JUST. CALM. DOWN. AND. RELAX. ok dear, i just want to.. NO. JUST. CALM. DOWN. AND. RELAX. i am relaxed, dear, i was just trying.. NO. JUST. RELAX. etc etc etc. yes, our husbands are in charge, and yes, we need to respect, obey, etc etc whatnot, but we are adults, we are humans, and we should not be treated as five year olds who are in tears after breaking a favourite toy, just because we arent doing something in the EXACT manner of his choosing, when he doesnt even know how he wants it done, and would have done the exact same thing if he did it himself. i honestly dont know what sylvia sees in my father. she must really love him.
my sister: since my fathers marriage, he insists that sylvia is now his responsibility, and he can no longer do anything for us. this coming from the man who stole a combined $4000 from his two daughters, so he could buy drugs.** (me? bitter? never.) back to the point. sylvia owns her house. dad owns his. together, they are in a good situation. but yes, his wife is his responsibility. HOWEVER, just as she is his responsibility, he is also hers. my sister has her own life. she works. she lives alone. she does not have the time to go and do everything for my father, when he now has a wife whos responsibility it is to take care of her husband. if dad needs someone to go and buy his special bread, his wife should do it. if she has to take time off work to do it, well. so be it. my sister would have to take time off work to do it too. if i had a car, i would do it. but have you tried getting from strathfield to rose bay(a good hour), and then up to hornsby(another hour, at least), then back to strathfield(couple hours), on public transport with a child under 3? besides which, my husband is my responsibility. if i spend the entire day out doing things for my father, who is looking after my husband?
my sister asked my father about fixing his will. once you get married, any will you had already becomes invalid and everything you own is automatically inherited by your spouse. now, because it was purely a religious ceremony (if things work out, they plan on legalising it next year), that is not the case here. but once a couple has been living together for a certain amount of time, they are treated as married regardless. if my father and sylvia remain together, i have no problems with her getting some of his stuff, should he die first. but since she already has a lot of her own stuff, i do believe my sister and i should get something. parents usually leave something to their children dont they? in a normal situation, dad dies first, mum gets everything, mum dies, things are split between the kids. but with subsequent marriages, things get tricky. mum and dad split. dad remarries. dad dies, everything goes to step-mum. she dies, everything goes to her children. see the problem? or, stepmum dies, everything goes to dad, he dies, we get it all. also no fair.
my father is a LAWYER. who specialised in wills and probate. HE KNOWS ALL this stuff. i dont want sylvia to be unprovided for should dad die first. but i dont believe her children should get all his stuff. and i dont believe we should get all hers. ive written up a lot of wills for my father, when i worked for him. i know you can set up a will so that the surviving spouse is provided for until death, upon which everything goes back to the children of the first spouse. my grandmother was married 4 times. her last two spouses set their wills up this way. so why wont my father? sometimes i wonder if i even want anything of his. he wasnt much of a father while he was here.
**yes you read that right. my grandmother lived in a different country, and never knew what to buy as as christmas and birthday presents, so she set up a $2000 account for each of us, with instructions that the interest be used to buy us something we wanted for presents, and i assume the capital was to be ours when we turned 18 or something. what actually happened? dad took the money, my assumption is to buy weed, since thats where all the rest of his money went, and just bought us presents. then, when we were 16, bought us something costing 'about' $2000. a least, he bought me a computer. im not sure what he got my sister when she turned 16. i know it took forever for her to convince him that he still owed it to her.
my father recently got married. july 1st actually. congrats to him. sylvia is lovely, her daughter is lovely, daughter's son and husband are lovely. all in all, i like my new step family. i wish they were christian, but we cant have everything, can we. (note: my father was raised nominatively christian, went to an anglican boarding school, but in his adult years decided to become jewish. since my mother would not convert, he COULD NOT convert, and this contributed a little to their split. i believe he has now converted, since sylvia is also a hasidic jew, and they were married in a religious ceremony. she even wore a wig to the wedding, although i believe she doesnt bother in everyday life.)
what i do not like is my father, and this bothers me. he is my father. i love him. i should also respect him. but i find it so hard. he is not a nice person, and he doesnt respect others. it is hard to respect someone who does not respect you. and it is hard to respect him, knowing how he treats sylvia, and my sister. and the absolute lack of respect he shows my mother. they are not together now, obviously, but they spent a great many years together. she is the mother of his only children. (he is 61, and sylvia must be close to that age, since her eldest daughter is 39, so the chances of anymore kids for my dad are very very slim.) and yet he shows up unannounced at our house, with his new wife, while my mother is here, and expects us to rush around happily making tea for him. my mother does not love my father anymore, but i can only imagine how awkward it must have been for her. and for sylvia. how would you feel turning up and your husbands ex-wifes house, and seeing the shock on her face as she realised who you were?
sylvia: my father treats her like a child. since i do not drive, and have a small child, i find it hard to travel around much further than the local shops, and my father lives at least an hour away by public transport, so i dont visit him much. but my sister does. and has witnessed him treating him exactly the same way he treated us as children. if she tries to help do something, and makes a mistake, she gets the Lecture Voice. loud, very enunciated, but not exactly yelling. STOP. PUT. IT. DOWN. JUST. CALM. DOWN. AND. RELAX. ok dear, i just want to.. NO. JUST. CALM. DOWN. AND. RELAX. i am relaxed, dear, i was just trying.. NO. JUST. RELAX. etc etc etc. yes, our husbands are in charge, and yes, we need to respect, obey, etc etc whatnot, but we are adults, we are humans, and we should not be treated as five year olds who are in tears after breaking a favourite toy, just because we arent doing something in the EXACT manner of his choosing, when he doesnt even know how he wants it done, and would have done the exact same thing if he did it himself. i honestly dont know what sylvia sees in my father. she must really love him.
my sister: since my fathers marriage, he insists that sylvia is now his responsibility, and he can no longer do anything for us. this coming from the man who stole a combined $4000 from his two daughters, so he could buy drugs.** (me? bitter? never.) back to the point. sylvia owns her house. dad owns his. together, they are in a good situation. but yes, his wife is his responsibility. HOWEVER, just as she is his responsibility, he is also hers. my sister has her own life. she works. she lives alone. she does not have the time to go and do everything for my father, when he now has a wife whos responsibility it is to take care of her husband. if dad needs someone to go and buy his special bread, his wife should do it. if she has to take time off work to do it, well. so be it. my sister would have to take time off work to do it too. if i had a car, i would do it. but have you tried getting from strathfield to rose bay(a good hour), and then up to hornsby(another hour, at least), then back to strathfield(couple hours), on public transport with a child under 3? besides which, my husband is my responsibility. if i spend the entire day out doing things for my father, who is looking after my husband?
my sister asked my father about fixing his will. once you get married, any will you had already becomes invalid and everything you own is automatically inherited by your spouse. now, because it was purely a religious ceremony (if things work out, they plan on legalising it next year), that is not the case here. but once a couple has been living together for a certain amount of time, they are treated as married regardless. if my father and sylvia remain together, i have no problems with her getting some of his stuff, should he die first. but since she already has a lot of her own stuff, i do believe my sister and i should get something. parents usually leave something to their children dont they? in a normal situation, dad dies first, mum gets everything, mum dies, things are split between the kids. but with subsequent marriages, things get tricky. mum and dad split. dad remarries. dad dies, everything goes to step-mum. she dies, everything goes to her children. see the problem? or, stepmum dies, everything goes to dad, he dies, we get it all. also no fair.
my father is a LAWYER. who specialised in wills and probate. HE KNOWS ALL this stuff. i dont want sylvia to be unprovided for should dad die first. but i dont believe her children should get all his stuff. and i dont believe we should get all hers. ive written up a lot of wills for my father, when i worked for him. i know you can set up a will so that the surviving spouse is provided for until death, upon which everything goes back to the children of the first spouse. my grandmother was married 4 times. her last two spouses set their wills up this way. so why wont my father? sometimes i wonder if i even want anything of his. he wasnt much of a father while he was here.
**yes you read that right. my grandmother lived in a different country, and never knew what to buy as as christmas and birthday presents, so she set up a $2000 account for each of us, with instructions that the interest be used to buy us something we wanted for presents, and i assume the capital was to be ours when we turned 18 or something. what actually happened? dad took the money, my assumption is to buy weed, since thats where all the rest of his money went, and just bought us presents. then, when we were 16, bought us something costing 'about' $2000. a least, he bought me a computer. im not sure what he got my sister when she turned 16. i know it took forever for her to convince him that he still owed it to her.
Wednesday 1 August 2007
abortion
for some reason ive been seeing a lot about this recently. my current role as Random Link Clicker probably has something to do with it, but im wondering why its such a popular topic at the moment. in any case, herein do i muse.
i read an article a few months back about a country where abortion is illegal. no ifs, ands or buts. if found out, both the doctor (back street hack, druggie old witch, whatever) and woman are prosecuted. now, i dont agree with abortion. i think it is wrong. BUT, i do not think it should be illegal IN EVERY SITUATION. (which is a bit contradictory, but... hey! stop making my brain hurt!)
why not? well there are some situations where i honestly believe abortion is the only sensible way to go. i know people will disagree with me, in both directions, but its my opinion, so deal with it.
what situations would i agree with it? very simple. medical. its all down to medical.
what do you do, if at some point during your pregnancy the doctors inform you that should you continue, you have a greater than 90% chance of death, and the baby will certainly die anyway. there is no way to save it, even if you die, even if you pray pray pray. the baby will die regardless, and if you keep going, you will too. i would abort. i would hate myself for it, and i would pray desperately for forgiveness, but i would abort. i have a son who needs me, a husband who needs me, and a god who forgives. were i single, with no children, perhaps i wouldnt. maybe i would choose to die with my baby. or simply take the chance that i survive.
situation #2: there is some random super rare genetic anomaly which means the baby is not forming properly, and it will either die before birth, or in agony shortly after. honestly, i dont know what i would do in this situation. god willing, it never happens. but abortion should not be illegal in this situation. many women would rather the baby die while its very small, than wait till it is born and know how much pain it is in.
this is not to say all babies with a 'problem' should be aborted. just because the baby only has one arm, or mental retardation, or anything like that, does not mean abortion should be an option. but if it WILL DIE anyway, especially in agony, then abortion should be an option.
situation #3: you already have children. doctors have told you than any further pregnancies will result in your death or permanent incapacitation. you are 3 days late, and despite birth control, upon taking a pregnancy test, discover you are in fact, pregnant again. the baby at this point is very very tiny. since i was 2 months pregnant when we found out about my son, and nearly as far along when i lost the last one, i have no idea just how tiny (i refuse to find out. i do not want to know just how formed my dear one was when it was taken from me), but very very small. in this situation, again, i dont know what i would do. but abortion should be an option.
if it will save your life, it should be an option.
despite my disagreement with it in other situations, i can understand why women do it, and feel they have no other options - how can 13 year old deal with a baby, let alone one that reminds her every single day of the night she was raped? how can a 16 year old go against her parents, now in their 50s, who say theyve already raised their children, and will not raise any more?
but abortion is not the only option. if your life is not threatened, give the baby away. give it up for adoption, so someone who cannot have children of their own can raise yours, and your child gets to live.
two women recently abandoned their babies. one in sydney, one in melbourne. i was so heartened to find that these women had not had abortions, and so heartened that the women left their babies outside a church, where the pastor found her within hours, and outside a hospital, where the nurses heard her crying. there ought to be a set-up in australia like there is in the states, where the mothers can drop off their babies at hospitals/fire stations/etc anonymously, without worrying about it. how many babies would be saved this way? how many babies would be taken in, and eventually found families, instead of being left to die?
its just not right.
im going to stop now, cause im finding it hard to focus, and my writing is becoming even more disjointed than usual.
i read an article a few months back about a country where abortion is illegal. no ifs, ands or buts. if found out, both the doctor (back street hack, druggie old witch, whatever) and woman are prosecuted. now, i dont agree with abortion. i think it is wrong. BUT, i do not think it should be illegal IN EVERY SITUATION. (which is a bit contradictory, but... hey! stop making my brain hurt!)
why not? well there are some situations where i honestly believe abortion is the only sensible way to go. i know people will disagree with me, in both directions, but its my opinion, so deal with it.
what situations would i agree with it? very simple. medical. its all down to medical.
what do you do, if at some point during your pregnancy the doctors inform you that should you continue, you have a greater than 90% chance of death, and the baby will certainly die anyway. there is no way to save it, even if you die, even if you pray pray pray. the baby will die regardless, and if you keep going, you will too. i would abort. i would hate myself for it, and i would pray desperately for forgiveness, but i would abort. i have a son who needs me, a husband who needs me, and a god who forgives. were i single, with no children, perhaps i wouldnt. maybe i would choose to die with my baby. or simply take the chance that i survive.
situation #2: there is some random super rare genetic anomaly which means the baby is not forming properly, and it will either die before birth, or in agony shortly after. honestly, i dont know what i would do in this situation. god willing, it never happens. but abortion should not be illegal in this situation. many women would rather the baby die while its very small, than wait till it is born and know how much pain it is in.
this is not to say all babies with a 'problem' should be aborted. just because the baby only has one arm, or mental retardation, or anything like that, does not mean abortion should be an option. but if it WILL DIE anyway, especially in agony, then abortion should be an option.
situation #3: you already have children. doctors have told you than any further pregnancies will result in your death or permanent incapacitation. you are 3 days late, and despite birth control, upon taking a pregnancy test, discover you are in fact, pregnant again. the baby at this point is very very tiny. since i was 2 months pregnant when we found out about my son, and nearly as far along when i lost the last one, i have no idea just how tiny (i refuse to find out. i do not want to know just how formed my dear one was when it was taken from me), but very very small. in this situation, again, i dont know what i would do. but abortion should be an option.
if it will save your life, it should be an option.
despite my disagreement with it in other situations, i can understand why women do it, and feel they have no other options - how can 13 year old deal with a baby, let alone one that reminds her every single day of the night she was raped? how can a 16 year old go against her parents, now in their 50s, who say theyve already raised their children, and will not raise any more?
but abortion is not the only option. if your life is not threatened, give the baby away. give it up for adoption, so someone who cannot have children of their own can raise yours, and your child gets to live.
two women recently abandoned their babies. one in sydney, one in melbourne. i was so heartened to find that these women had not had abortions, and so heartened that the women left their babies outside a church, where the pastor found her within hours, and outside a hospital, where the nurses heard her crying. there ought to be a set-up in australia like there is in the states, where the mothers can drop off their babies at hospitals/fire stations/etc anonymously, without worrying about it. how many babies would be saved this way? how many babies would be taken in, and eventually found families, instead of being left to die?
its just not right.
im going to stop now, cause im finding it hard to focus, and my writing is becoming even more disjointed than usual.
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