I just don't know how to help

My husband's mother recently found us on facebook. Really not that hard to do when you know someone's name, is it. And i suppose its a good thing. International phone calls are expensive, even with a phonecard, and this way she can see pictures of everyone too. But.... it does cause some problems.

My husband does not get on terribly well with his family. Especially his mother's side it seems. His fathers side is not so bad, since he hardly has contact with those siblings, and hence nothing to have problems with. His mother, and his siblings through her however... well.

The major thing at the moment is, of course, the baby. She wants to know what it is. Hubby wants to know what it is. I don't. I didn't find out with the last one, and I don't want to find out this time. I told hubby he could find out - I'd stick my fingers in my ears and shout LALALALALALA while he was told - but he said it wouldn't work. He'd end up letting it slip. So we aren't going to find out. He got a message from his mother, and since he was in a bad mood and doesn't get along with her to begin with, he responded in a sarcastic manner. So she called him.

Which is probably a good thing, because its the only time he ever finds out how his father is doing. He had a stroke 2 years ago, and is basically paralyzed. He can talk a bit, and his mind is all there, but he can't move much, and he won't do his physical therapy because it hurts. And his so-called best friend, to whom he signed over power of attorney, has stolen all his money. So they need to cancel that, and now hubby's sister, who isn't his fathers daughter, and has problems of her own, is in charge of expenses.

And yesterday she gave hubby's mother a bunch of money, because hubby's father wants her to be able to come out here and see the baby after its born. He can't afford this. He also wants to send us money to buy something for the kids. He can't afford that either. And now my husband is sad because he is so far away from his father, and he can't do anything. He thinks that if he was there, things would be better. Possibly true. He would have had power of attorney instead of the friend, and his father would still have his money. He's been taking care of his family for years, he knows what to do. But his father still would have had the stroke, and would still be refusing physical therapy. And we would probably be worse off, and hubby would be stressed beyond belief all the time, instead of for a few days after the occasional phonecall or email.

And I just don't know how to help. I don't know what to say, or what to do. He is a long way from his family, and they are hurting, and he is hurting. And my hugs just don't seem to be helping.

14 weeks and counting

i think im past the worst of it. i HOPE im past the worst of it. i seem to remember things calming down a little at about this point with the last one, so....

the baby appears to ahve moved away from my bladder, which is fantastic. SO fantastic. my cough also seems to be clearing up, so im not gagging as often. and im finally able to eat a little bit of sugar again! that has been difficult. the baby hates sugar. HATES it. even the IDEA of a chocolate makes me feel ill.

but that wasnt the worst of it. the worst appears to be over. provided i eat every few hours.

the nausea this time around hasnt been as bad as it was with the critter. i was almost constantly sick with him, on and off for the whole time. i feel fine most of the time now, unless i dont eat. or i eat something sweet. honey is a no-no. chcolate doesnt even bear thinking about. juice must be diluted, but is tolerated because the taste of water makes me feel even more ill.

but the worst... the worst is over. and you really dont want to know about.

enough with the green goo already!

everyone in my house is oozing greenish goo. mm.... yummy. even the cat. DELICIOUS!

i have some horrible cold thingy thats trying very hard to descend into my chest - and i think its winning. ive definitely been coughing up blech. hubby has also got whatever i have but since he is A MAN and therefor NOT PREGNANT, he can take wonderful-deliciously-life-saving-cold-and-flu-tablets to ease his suffering, while i have to cope with panadol only. which is helping a lot with the headaches and stiff neck, but not so much with the dripping nose, feverless-fever-type-chills, and coughing.

or with the fact that i still gag every time i cough, and have lost my appetite, so im constantly hungry and constantly feel sick anyway.

and then theres my critterbug, who is reminding us all of why some of his first nicknames were booger, and snotface. because as well as the continually dripping nose, he now has oozing eyes!!! isnt that fun! we have conjunctivitits in my house, and its GREEN. very green. its starting to turn yellow now, after a day of eyedrops, but it was approximately the colour of a daffodil stalk the other day.

and then theres the cat. ok, so i lied, the can isnt oozing green. he's oozing BROWN. one of his eyelids has decided to fold in, and the hair rubs on his eye, irritating it, causing goo to form, and he actually developed an ulcer ON HIS EYE a few weeks ago. that heald, thankfully, but the goo remains, and likely will for the rest of his life. which i dont know how long that will be, since he's 12. but the brown eye goo, it is so much fun. i ADORE stumbling into the kitchen half awake in the morning to make my son breakfast, only to find ive stepped in something cold and slimy - evidence the cat has been shaking his head. i also love it when he refuses to shake his head and i have to pin him down while hubby gets a wet cottonball and wipes the goo out, and then squeezes antibiotic gel in. wouldnt be so hard if was a decent size, but the cat weighs nearly 10kg (20lb) and he is not fat. he is BIG. he can almost look onto the kitchen counter if he stands on his hind legs. 10kg of nothing-but-muscle-cat is hard to pin down, believe me.


im just hoping all the green is gone in a few days and we are left with only the brown. i can cope with the brown - have been coping for over a year. but the green makes us all miserable, and im not in a condition to deal with it.