Metabolism

I love weetbix. Just like any good Australian. I love them with a little bit of brown sugar, and enough milk that the outside softens just a touch, but the inside is still crunchy. This necessitates eating them rather quickly.

The fact that I love weetbix so much, is actually one of the reasons I haven't eaten them for a few years. I love them TOO much.

Something that is often asked on ads is how many weetbix you can eat. The serving suggestion is 2, but many sportsmen claim to eat 6, or 8. Football players mostly, big burly guys that you expect to eat half a cow for dinner and still have room for dessert. Or swimmers, who burn so much energy they are constantly eating just to stay in shape.

When I was 18, I would eat 10.

10 weetbix for breakfast. With sugar and milk. A cup of milk with each set of weetbix. Eaten by 2, that makes over a litre. A good tablespoon of sugar spread over the two weetbix, 5 times over, makes half a cup. and then I would have a glass of orange juice.

This didn't stop me eating during the rest of the day, either. When I was at school, I would eat two sandwiches for lunch - thats 4 slices of bread, 2-4 slices of cheese, and 2-4 slices of ham. Plus an apple, plus a muesli bar. And a glass of juice with lunch.

When I was working for my father, at 19, I didn't often have sandwiches for lunch. Instead I'd go to the local bakery and get a loaf of their cheese and bacon bread. And a sweet bun. And a 600ml carton of chocolate milk. And eat it all.

Dinner wasn't any better. If we had pizza, I would eat a pizza. By myself. Thin crust, yes, but not home-made, and I'd eat 1/3 of the loaf of garlic bread too. Milk with dinner as well.

Sometimes I made myself pasta - from a packet. You know the kind - add milk, water and butter, microwave for 10 minutes. Serves four. I'd eat the whole packet, plus a couple slices of bread to mop up the sauce.

What did I look like when I used to eat so much?


I looked like that. That is a 17 year old Sarah. Who hadn't started eating 10 weetbix at a time yet, but would regularly eat 6 (with all the accompanying sugar and milk) and one time ate 4 cheeseburgers, 20 chicken nuggets, 3 large fries and a thickshake within half an hour, then went to the movies and had a large popcorn and three packets of sweets (snakes, maltesers and violet crumbles for anyone wondering). I looked approximately the same until I had my son when I was 22.

HOW COULD I LOOK LIKE THAT????? On a day when I ate 10 weetbix for breakfast (with milk, sugar, and orange juice), pullapart for lunch (with finger bun and chocolate milk), and pizza for dinner (with garlic bread and milk) I would easily consume 5000 calories. Thats nearly 3 times what my current suggested intake is.

I HATE my metabolism.

Plans

What I want to do today:

• waffles
• chocolate pudding
• tortillas
• sewing practice
• knitting

What will probably actually get done:

• 
  

(No, that wasn't a mistake.)

I Never Wanted To Keep Her In Pink

When Critterbug was a baby, we often had questions as to his gender. I didn't really understand that, as to me he looked like a boy (right from the start, to me he looked like a Boy rather than just a Baby), and he was always wearing 'boy' clothes - little jeans and blue shirts with monsters and trucks and stuff on them - but I understood that people didn't want to say 'what a cute little boy!' only to be told he was a girl, and we were just a little untraditional in our clothing choices, especially since it is generally deemed more ok to dress a girl in boy's clothes than it is to put a boy in girl's clothes.

Its getting a little ridiculous with Gosling though.

Granted, she doesn't have a particularly feminine face yet (not that she looks masculine, she just looks like a 'baby' instead of a 'girl'), but when she's wearing a pink t-shirt, a pink velvet skirt with butterflies and flowers on it, a pink velour jacket, and pink tights with more flowers on them, she's holding a pink teddy, has a pink dummy (pacifier/binky) in her mouth, and has two pink blankets in her pram, people STILL ask if she's a boy.

That's right, its a boy. We're just trying our hardest to scar him for life.

Maybe once her hair grows out we'll stop getting stupid questions? In the meantime, despite not wanting a frothy frilly pink girl, I have resigned myself to the fact that if I want less confusion, I'm just going to have to have one, and I'll never be able to take her out dressed like this:

Feeling a Little Conflicted

When I had Critterbug, I put on about 25kg over the course of the pregnancy. I lost 11kg the week after he was born, and I don't know how much after that. Then I started to put more on.

In 2006, I started the CSIRO diet, and lost 15kg in three months. WOOOOO. Then the weight loss stopped, no matter what I did. So I gave up. My weight stayed mostly steady till I got pregnant with Spaceghost.

Then I started losing weight. I lost nearly 5kg in the first few months, then gained about 20, for a total gain of 15kg. Which I have since lost. WOOOOOOOOOO. (Unsure of exact numbers. At least 15 but I haven't weighed myself for a month.)

This is where the confliction comes in. I didnt buy maternity skirts. I bought normal ones in a larger size so I could continue wearing them after the baby. I wasn't expecting to lose the weight this fast. And now? They fall off. And I have nothing that fits. And I am still losing weight, so I am reluctant to buy new stuff yet as it will not fit me for long. And I want to keep losing weight as I am going to be a bridesmaid in November and would like to look decent. But that would mean I still have no clothes that fit.

UGH. WHAT DO I DO?????????????

Can't I Keep Her A Baby Forever?

I've just finished cleaning up an ENTIRE glass of milk from the floor.

Mr Snotface decided he didn't want to drink his milk this morning. I told him that was fine, but if he didn't drink it, he's obviously sick, and wont be going to preschool. So instead, I get "I have to go to the toilet." Classic excuse, one he uses a LOT to get out of things, but I can't take the chance that this time he's actually telling the truth - I really don't want to be the one that makes him poo in his pants because of some milk.

Since then, three things have happened, because he is being Mr Snotface today, instead of the sweet Critterbug I'd rather see:

• In his attitude laden stomping, he spilled the ENTIRE glass of milk, and then, despite being desperate to go to the toilet, he just stood there, staring at it. Not making any effort to clean it, or even ignoring it and continuing on his stomp to the bathroom. Just standing like a lump.

• He is now in his bedroom wailing hideously because I told him he has to wear a different shirt - I don't want him getting one of his only 2 unstained shirts covered in paint and marker at preschool. So he put the other one on, and screamed when I said "not that one please either" in a calm voice.

• I am now siting here praying for peace and patience, and that God will miraculously stop me from strangling him on the walk to school.

Are we absolutely certain theres no way to stop the aging process so I can stop Spaceghost before she gets to this point?



***UPDATE*** Imediately after posting this, what do I hear? He has turned the tap in the bathroom ALL THE WAY TO FULL to brush his teeth. Despite being told at least once a week that it is not to be turned that high. Somebody better calm down at school today.

What A World, What A World

After dropping my son off at preschool this morning, I sat down at the bus stop just around the corner to let my legs calm down before I walked home (the preschool is just over 1km - about 0.6 miles, or 3200 feet - away, so I walk if pain and weather permit - 2km, 3 times a week. But it has been rather cold here in the mornings and my legs itch like crazy if I walk more than about 100metres in the cold.. I don't know why, but they always have. It drives me crazy). As I was sitting at the bus stop, I started to wonder if maybe I should go down to the shops, since the bus stops right there and there was nothing urgent at home that needed doing.

While I was trying to make up my mind, and was talking to Spaceghost, trying to find the quickest way to make her laugh at me, a man who had been standing at the stop for a few minutes walked over to me. "D'you think you could lend me $2.50 for the bus fare?" he said, to which I responded "Sorry, no," as I only had $3 in my wallet, and had almost decided to catch the bus down to the shops.

Then I started to feel guilty. Home wasn't really that far away, and there is another stop for the same bus just around the corner from my house. I could easily give him bus fare, then make my way home, grab more money out of the change jar (and change Spaceghost's nappy while I was there) and head back out again.

Just as I was contemplating this, the bus pulled up. And the man pulled a pre-paid ticket out of his wallet and got on the bus.

He didn't need my money for the bus. He already had a ticket. That made me a little mad. And also put me in a bad mood, so I no longer wanted to go to the shops. Instead I'm sitting here watching my precious girl gripping her blanket and twitching in her sleep, and listening to the washing machine.

People suck.

ugh

Not having a good time at the moment. The kids are sick (how does a breastfed baby get a cold? Thats not supposed to happen), hubby and I arent feeling too crash hot either, Spaceghost didnt eat much yesterday, I'm having trouble sleeping, and theres various other stuff going on thats causing stress in my life, like cats, and jobs, and weddings.

On top of all that, my internet is being slow, and I'm having a lot of trouble loading anything. My solution? Hit the enter key REALLY REALLY HARD when trying to refresh a page. I know it won't make it work any better, but I feel like it will, and it makes me feel better to smash that button.

If only the rest of life was so simple.

attack of the dumb

my son has been suddenly rendered stupid, and i dont know why.

i dont know if he's just Being Four, if he's tired, or if theres something wrong with him that makes him incapable of thinking after about 4:30pm.

he's a smart boy. he knows left from right, can whistle in tune, he can read his alphabet, knows the associated sounds with most of the letters (although hes been doing weird things there lately too), and can read any number under 100. he's constantly telling me how much things cost when we're at the shops. and yet, today, its all flying out the window.

for a start he's insisting on reading everything from right to left, and upon being told to read from the left, he asked which way that was. i stared at him until he stopped being silly. then he insisted that the number 4-0 is one he doesnt know. he knows every other number except that one. it took 5 minutes to get him to call it 'forty-oh' and upon being told theres no such number, silly person, he looked at me as if ive grown another head. we then had a conversation like this:

me: forty-oh isnt a number. listen to the other numbers. if 2-0 is twenty, and 3-0 is thirty, and 5-0 is fifty, what is 4-0?
critter: um.... forty-oh.
me: no. you arent listening. if 3-0 is thirty, and 5-0 is fifty, what is 4-0?
critter: forty-oh?
me: no. go to your bedroom and sit down and think about it, and then come and tell me what number 4-0 is. (because at this point, after a day of him refusing to be more than 2 feet away from me at any given moment, including getting up and running after me and trying to open the door when i was ON THE TOILET to find out what i was doing; and telling me every 2.8 seconds to LOOK AT ME when im already watching him; and mummy? mummy. mummy. muuuuuuuummy. mummy? MUMMY!!!!! muuuuuuuummyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, im ready to scream, and quite frankly 5 minutes of him being elsewhere will stop all sorts of things from happening)
critter: I DONT WANT TO!! (as he's running to his room)

this continued for another ten minutes or so, with him intermittently coming out and telling me that he doesnt know any numbers, and me telling him to go back to his room and think.

eventually it got to the point where i couldnt take it any more.

me: what number is 3-0?
critter: thirty
me: SO WHAT NUMBER IS 4-0!!!
critter: forty (looking at me as if he's been telling me that the whole time)


he is so lucky. i was on the verge of shutting all the doors and going to bed, leaving him to fend for himself till daddy gets home at about midnight.

ants in my pants

or wasps in my garden to be more precise. i havent been able to go out back to hang out the laundry for about a week, and ITS PERFECT DRYING WEATHER.

my son has been cooped up inside, because he likes to play right under where the nest is, and he isnt interested in playing in the front yard.

we changed dinner plans because my husband didnt want to risk BBQing with the wasps out there.


after locking the cat inside, and grabing all the cleaning rags i could find and blocking up the inch wide gap between the laundry door and the wall, and finding an old towel to stuff in the 3 inch gap under the door, and manouvering the Box-Of-Heavy in front of the hole in the door where the cat ripped the dog door out of it (my cat is about 9kg - 20lb - of pure muscle. he wouldnt fit through a cat flap, and the dog flap wasnt sturdy enough to contain him... he moved the Box Of Heavy on a regular basis until we put an extra 10kg on it), hubby sprayed the nest with roundup (we had no bug spray and figured weed killer would probably be toxic enough) and sprinted back into the house, and then when it got dark he smashed it and sprinted back into the house, but evidently some survived, because its being rebuilt.


im feeling antsy. the fact that i CANT go outside makes me want to. i want to just go out there and sit and read. or lie on the trampoline... not that id be able to get onto it at the moment anyway.

these wasps are nasty little rotters too. about 15 years ago my sister was outside jumping on the trampoline (different trampoline. it disintegrated a few years back and we bought a new one for critter) and suddenly she started screaming. there was a wasps nest around the side of the house, FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR away from the trampoline, but one had wandered to the back fence where the trampoline was, flew up the sleeve of her t-shirt and stung her under the arm at least 5 times. i am not letting my son go out there and play less than 2 feet from the nest, if thats what they do at 65 feet...


at least we have working air conditioning now so i can keep it cool in the house.

why did i sign up for another one?

things are not so cheery in the house of kaeus right now. the critter has always been strong. both physically (pushed himself up on his arms to look around the room less than an hour after birth. the midwife was surprised), and strong willed. lately the strong willed part has become... excessive. he will not do a single thing he is asked/told, and resists any and every form of discipline, right down to "look at me when im talking to you please."

and its driving me insane.

he has a pair of sunglasses. he's not allowed to wear them inside the house. he went and grabbed them a few minutes ago and sat down to watch TV with them on. i asked him to take them off please and give them to me, because we dont wear sunglasses in the house. he took them off, and put them next to him on the couch. so i asked for them again. he looked at me and grinned. i stood up to turn off the TV and he started shouting NO!! NOOOOOOOOO!! and nearly threw them at me trying to stop me from turning off the TV. and after i got it turned off, he turned it on again. discipline ensued. so did screaming. im sure the neighbours think im a child abuser the way he screams if i so much as take a toy out of his hand.

and it happens all the time.

it started getting more frequent a couple months back, and its got to the point that he is being sent to his room at least once a day, EVERY SINGLE DAY.

every child has off days. every child has off moments on good days. every child has tantrums when they get over tired/over stimulated.

not every child has them every single day, only an hour after waking up.

not every child has to be taken out of church because they wont stop swinging a rope around their head, and tries to hit their mother and take the rope back when it is taken away in an effort to get the child to calm down.

not every child... right? tell me it wont necessarily happen again when spaceghost is 4. tell me this is a phase.. that its hormonal.. that despite his apparent enthusiasm, he's acting up out of jealousy over the as-yet-unborn-new-baby.. that he will go back to only occasional tantrums and be generally sweet natured again.. because i really dont want one of Those children.

must.. hit.. something..

ever have one of those days? i managed to be awake in plenty time to go get the kid, which is good, because i hate rushing around trying to get ready in less than 5 seconds..

but now hotmail is acting up. i cant read ANY emails.

and the baby is making everything between my belly button and my knees ache. EVERYTHING.

and every time i hit the shift key, caps gets hit instead.

and i have to sort through the suitcase trying to figure out whats clean and whats dirty.

and i didnt get anything out for dinner.

which isnt a HUGE problem since we dont have a single vegetable in the house anyway.

and my son wants orange juice. which we dont have any of.

and dont you just love sentences that start "mummy? um.. sometimes i just.. uh... mummy? i... um.. nothing."

at least i ahve chocolate in the house. i think i might go nuts without it.

im sooooooooooooooooo tired

aaaaaaaaaaand now i have a beatles song in my head as well.

i really am tired of this. SO tired. its driving me crazy. what you ask? TOILET TRAINING. STILL. at 4.

wetting the bed at night is annoying, but i can deal with it. i just have to remember to wake him up sometime after 9:30 to go to the toilet. its wetting his pants during the day that bothers me.

he doesnt do it at preschool. he doesnt do it at grandma's house, or aunty's house. he doesnt do it if we're at the shops. he only does it at home. he sits there and wets his pants, and does nothing. or comes and tells me he's wet his pants. and then does nothing. just stands there. (he also does this if he needs to go - comes and tels me he needs to go, then just stands there instead of actually GOING. is it too late to swap him for a new one?) he doesnt need to tell me!! just go to the loo already!!

i just dont get it. why doesnt he go to the toilet? why does he wet his pants and do nothing? does he not realise until its too late? its driving me bonkers.

and i dont know what to do, how to help, how to get him doing things right.



and now im getting distracted because spaceghost is kicking the computer and it feels really weird.

and more downs

down: waking up after a VERY MUCH NEEDED NAP because of ONLY 5 HOURS OF SLEEP, to find the critter is crying.

down: when he cries even louder when i ask him whats wrong.

down: numerous times.

down: many numerous.

down: being told after 15 minutes of crying that his bed is wet. couldnt have told me this the first 10 times i asked because......? (im not upset that his bed was wet. i should have made him go to the bathroom before his nap. im upset that he wouldnt tell me when i asked.)

down: discovering my deodorant has decided to make me stink, instead of stopping me from stinking.

down:from this morning: discovering i forgot to write swiss cheese on the grocery list, and now we have none. no cheese and vegemite sandwiches for me.

down: the amount of dishes i have to put away after a truly delicious roast dinner last night.

a day of up and downs

because so far, theres only been one up.


down: waking up at 3:30am because i need to pee, and finding the critter is coughing so hard he was almost gagging.

down: turning on the light in the kitchen to get medicine for the kid and BEING BLINDED.

down: tripping over EVERYTHING in the bedroom on the way back to bed because I WAS BLINDED.

down: not getting back to sleep til 5:30 (lying in bed for two hours trying to sleep? NOT FUN), at which time hubby's alarm goes off and wakes me up again.

down: getting up at 7:18am to make breakfast for critter/lunch for hubby and finding there is a headache the size of australia building in my left eyeball. not behind it, IN IT.

down: critter whinging through the entire half hour it took him to eat two slices of toast, because he wasnt allowed to watch tv.

down: ditto his milk.

down: "in the night garden".

down: realising my typing skills become even worse with lack of sleep.

down: kid whinging because lunch does NOT happen less than two hours after breakfast, and stomping will get you sent to your room.

down: incessant wailing because the ties that hold a pice of cardboard to the front of his bike have come off. truly, it is the end of the world.

down: the broken toys in the kids room that repeat the same three not-same three not-same three not-same three not-same three notes FOR EVER.

up: 4 year old reads his first word. s-t-o-p. st-o-p. st-op. stop!!!!

down: another wail, from the bathroom because he has somehow managed to drop his toy horse down the toilet. seriously.... why is it in the bathroom?

down: that darn alphabet caterpillar. and his inability not to push the same button 15 times a second. seriously.. cant you let it play to the end before pushing it again? its as bad as the broken toys.

down: yet more wailing because pulling the darn alphabet caterpillar off the table will make it fall on your foot, and that hurts!

down: and yet more wailing when mummy says you should have been paying attention and not pulling things off the table.

and its only 1:30.

working women

Mrs Anna T had a post the other day about maternity leave, its 'damage' of womens careers, and the strain put on employers while their women workers are off having babies. ive been reading a lot about maternity leave lately - it seems to be being debated over here at the moment, how much should we get, should it be up to the govt. or the employer, how much other countries have, all that stuff. and to be honest, its all making my brain hurt.

if a woman chooses to, or needs to work, and has a child, she should not have to live in fear that the job will not be available when she returns. but, paying her wages and wages for a replacement during her time off, could put a huge strain on her employer, especially if its a small business. so maybe the 'unpaid' maternity leave we currently have is the way to go. she doesnt get any money, but has a guarantee her job will be available if she returns to work within a year. the guarantee part is great, but if she's working because she NEEDS to, rather than because she WANTS to, she'll have to return to work far far before she and her baby are ready, because otherwise they have no money.

i see no solution. people take enough advantage of government handouts as it is; a government funded maternity leave is not the answer. it really all makes my brain hurt, and im simply glad to be in a situation where i do not currently need to work.

unfortunately its not just the maternity leave predicament. there is a young woman who works at my husband's company and is being paid the same amount as anyone else there - as she should, except for one thing. she does half the work. they work in a warehouse, and it involves lifting and carrying and all that fun stuff. part of the employment process is a 'test' to make sure the prospective employee can lift a certain weight. which she didnt do. and now asks the rest of the people there to put aside their own work to carry the things she cant lift. or do things she simply wont learn how to do.

but, if her bosses were to fire her now, there would be an outcry about sexual discrimination. never mind that she IS NOT DOING HER JOB, she should be employed anyway! they gave her a job, now they have to keep her in her job.

i have no problem with women working. when all my kids are at school, i expect i will have some sort of job. something with flexible hours so i can collect them and/or drop them off, depending on hubby's hours, and have time for cooking and cleaning and all that. what i DO have a problem with is women taking advantage. if the job involves something you cant do, find something else. a 5ft tall woman is not going to be able to lift the same amount as a 6ft tall man. hey, a 6ft tall woman most likely cant lift as much as a 6ft tall man.

i'm only about an inch shorter than my husband and i KNOW i cant lift what he can. i might be smarter than him, though he has yet to convince me of that, but our bodies are built differently. he has a broad back and shoulders, and strong arms. he can lift and carry rather heavy things. like me. i have ridiculously strong legs, and big hips - im built to carry different things. like babies. my arms simply do not have the strength to carry heavy things. i cannot do the work he does. and he cannot do many of the things i do. (people can go on and on all they want about men and women being 'the same' or 'equal' but we are not the same. we are built very differently.)

there are women who work hard to have his kind of strength. they can do his job. and theres no reason why they shouldnt. but when a woman doesnt have the skills or strength to do a certain job, she shouldnt. she should find something she can do easily, something she can do well, something she can do better than someone else, and do that. leave the messy sweaty stuff for the boys. its yucky anyway.

i. am. so. tired.

and i dont know why. i dont think ive been sleeping well.

waking up at 6:30 this morning to do hubby's lunch instead of the 7-7:30 ive been used to didnt help any either... but i just dont feel as rested as i should. ive been getting plenty of sleep, it must just not be very good quality sleep. grr.

i havent felt like this since critter was a newborn and waking up every hour or so. wasnt THAT fun.

father

this is going to ramble even more than usual.. im not quite sure of my own thoughts, so im sorting things out as i type.


my father recently got married. july 1st actually. congrats to him. sylvia is lovely, her daughter is lovely, daughter's son and husband are lovely. all in all, i like my new step family. i wish they were christian, but we cant have everything, can we. (note: my father was raised nominatively christian, went to an anglican boarding school, but in his adult years decided to become jewish. since my mother would not convert, he COULD NOT convert, and this contributed a little to their split. i believe he has now converted, since sylvia is also a hasidic jew, and they were married in a religious ceremony. she even wore a wig to the wedding, although i believe she doesnt bother in everyday life.)

what i do not like is my father, and this bothers me. he is my father. i love him. i should also respect him. but i find it so hard. he is not a nice person, and he doesnt respect others. it is hard to respect someone who does not respect you. and it is hard to respect him, knowing how he treats sylvia, and my sister. and the absolute lack of respect he shows my mother. they are not together now, obviously, but they spent a great many years together. she is the mother of his only children. (he is 61, and sylvia must be close to that age, since her eldest daughter is 39, so the chances of anymore kids for my dad are very very slim.) and yet he shows up unannounced at our house, with his new wife, while my mother is here, and expects us to rush around happily making tea for him. my mother does not love my father anymore, but i can only imagine how awkward it must have been for her. and for sylvia. how would you feel turning up and your husbands ex-wifes house, and seeing the shock on her face as she realised who you were?

sylvia: my father treats her like a child. since i do not drive, and have a small child, i find it hard to travel around much further than the local shops, and my father lives at least an hour away by public transport, so i dont visit him much. but my sister does. and has witnessed him treating him exactly the same way he treated us as children. if she tries to help do something, and makes a mistake, she gets the Lecture Voice. loud, very enunciated, but not exactly yelling. STOP. PUT. IT. DOWN. JUST. CALM. DOWN. AND. RELAX. ok dear, i just want to.. NO. JUST. CALM. DOWN. AND. RELAX. i am relaxed, dear, i was just trying.. NO. JUST. RELAX. etc etc etc. yes, our husbands are in charge, and yes, we need to respect, obey, etc etc whatnot, but we are adults, we are humans, and we should not be treated as five year olds who are in tears after breaking a favourite toy, just because we arent doing something in the EXACT manner of his choosing, when he doesnt even know how he wants it done, and would have done the exact same thing if he did it himself. i honestly dont know what sylvia sees in my father. she must really love him.

my sister: since my fathers marriage, he insists that sylvia is now his responsibility, and he can no longer do anything for us. this coming from the man who stole a combined $4000 from his two daughters, so he could buy drugs.** (me? bitter? never.) back to the point. sylvia owns her house. dad owns his. together, they are in a good situation. but yes, his wife is his responsibility. HOWEVER, just as she is his responsibility, he is also hers. my sister has her own life. she works. she lives alone. she does not have the time to go and do everything for my father, when he now has a wife whos responsibility it is to take care of her husband. if dad needs someone to go and buy his special bread, his wife should do it. if she has to take time off work to do it, well. so be it. my sister would have to take time off work to do it too. if i had a car, i would do it. but have you tried getting from strathfield to rose bay(a good hour), and then up to hornsby(another hour, at least), then back to strathfield(couple hours), on public transport with a child under 3? besides which, my husband is my responsibility. if i spend the entire day out doing things for my father, who is looking after my husband?

my sister asked my father about fixing his will. once you get married, any will you had already becomes invalid and everything you own is automatically inherited by your spouse. now, because it was purely a religious ceremony (if things work out, they plan on legalising it next year), that is not the case here. but once a couple has been living together for a certain amount of time, they are treated as married regardless. if my father and sylvia remain together, i have no problems with her getting some of his stuff, should he die first. but since she already has a lot of her own stuff, i do believe my sister and i should get something. parents usually leave something to their children dont they? in a normal situation, dad dies first, mum gets everything, mum dies, things are split between the kids. but with subsequent marriages, things get tricky. mum and dad split. dad remarries. dad dies, everything goes to step-mum. she dies, everything goes to her children. see the problem? or, stepmum dies, everything goes to dad, he dies, we get it all. also no fair.

my father is a LAWYER. who specialised in wills and probate. HE KNOWS ALL this stuff. i dont want sylvia to be unprovided for should dad die first. but i dont believe her children should get all his stuff. and i dont believe we should get all hers. ive written up a lot of wills for my father, when i worked for him. i know you can set up a will so that the surviving spouse is provided for until death, upon which everything goes back to the children of the first spouse. my grandmother was married 4 times. her last two spouses set their wills up this way. so why wont my father? sometimes i wonder if i even want anything of his. he wasnt much of a father while he was here.



**yes you read that right. my grandmother lived in a different country, and never knew what to buy as as christmas and birthday presents, so she set up a $2000 account for each of us, with instructions that the interest be used to buy us something we wanted for presents, and i assume the capital was to be ours when we turned 18 or something. what actually happened? dad took the money, my assumption is to buy weed, since thats where all the rest of his money went, and just bought us presents. then, when we were 16, bought us something costing 'about' $2000. a least, he bought me a computer. im not sure what he got my sister when she turned 16. i know it took forever for her to convince him that he still owed it to her.

because i just filled out my profile, and it got me thinking

why do so many people have a problem with the fact that i live with my mother?


my husband and i got married june 19th, 2004. we flew to australia the following week. all our money was spent buying plane tickets, shipping our possesions to australia, making sure our rent was paid. (as far as i remember. being 6 months pregnant at the time, and trying to organise a wedding, and move to another country, while still working 2-3 days a week, things are a little blurry. it might have gone elsewhere too)

as a result, when we got to australia, we had a grand total of about 300 dollars. or was that 3000? i dont remember. it wasnt a great deal, at any rate. my husband was on a tourist visa when we got here, so he couldnt work. and the likely-hood of anyone hiring a 6months pregnant woman in a job that would actually pay rent for us, for only 2 months, well it wasnt going to happen. (good thing too as it turns out, what with the high blood pressure and whatnot. i would ahve had to quit within a month anyway)

my mother had never moved anything out of, or into my room, it was exactly how i left it, when i moved to the states 20months prior, so it made sense for us to just move in with her, and she was looking forward to having a grandbaby around.

once hubby got visa stuff organised, and got a job, we decided we would try and save as much as possible, and find somewhere to rent. somehow, we never managed to get it all organised though.

we pay rent to my mother, and she LOVES having us here. i cook most days, hubby often does the washing up, and theres a little boy who jsut adores his grandma, and wants to sit on her lap at every available moment. my sister has moved out, and if we left too, mum would be all alone. one woman past her 50s, in a 3-4 bedroom house, all alone except for a nearly blind, 11yr old cat the size of a small-medium dog. i dont know about you, but i would be lonely.

so what is the problem? we have somewhere to live, and a built in babysitter if we want to go out. mum has company, a baby to play with, and someone else to do the cooking. why does everyone keep telling us how wrong it is to live here?

it is only in our modern western society, that living with the older generation is so frowned upon. children are expected to move out as soon as they are able to support themselves, adn when their parents are no longer able to live alone, WHOOSH! off to a nursing home! i admit freely that i would LOVE to be in a place of my own, just me, my husband, and my son, but finacially, this is not viable, and it would leave my mother all alone. once my husband and i start renting, we will be unable to save to buy our own place, and the income my husband earns currently, would allow us to buy a one bedroom apartment thats falling apart, and we might not be able to eat. wither that or move to woop woop and be so isolated from friends and family that i go insane, and hubby takes forever to get to and from work everyday. and what about my mother? my sisters rent doesnt run out till november. i couldt leave mum in this big house all alone till then.

she is planning on buying a new place for herslef anyway, and letting my family stay here and rent from her. maybe my sister wikll move in with her when her rent is up. but until this happens, whenever it may be, i see no problem with living with my mother, paying her rent, and lessening her household duties. and i dont understand why other people do.

bus incident

so yesterday at about 3pm i was catching a bus home from the shops, and it was very crowded, what with all the school kids, so the critter and i had to stand. i told him to make sure and hang on to me - i gave him a handful of skirt, since he tends to stay hanging on once hes holding something - and i was sort of leaning over so i could hold onto him and he wouldnt get thrown around the bus, while making sure i was still able to hold onto the rails, and therefor not knock over him, or anyone else. then this lovely woman offered me her seat. i initially refused, numerous times, but she just kept on insisting, so i put aiden in the seat, and i stood sort of half infront of it, half in the aisle, making sure he wouldnt get thrown off or anything, since he could not reach the rail infort of him.

then this geriatric old nosybritches who was sitting in the seat next to the one given to us started berating me. "that lady gave the seat to YOU not your child" blah blah blah, and i told her there was no way i was going to sit down and let my 2.5 year old stand up and be thrown all over the bus. an old guy sitting in a seat right near us was trying to stand up and give me his seat but i told him to sit down please sir, i was quite happy to stand here with my son - there was no WAY i was going to take his seat, he was in his 70s or 80s, and had a walking stick, i would have made him stay seated even if i was hugely pregnant, unless i was going into labour right then and there - and she told me how inconsiderate i was, never thinking of anyone but myself, and look how i was distressing everyone else on the bus and i really need to sit down and make my kid stand, and i told her AGAIN that i wasnt going to let him be thrown around the bus while i sit down, at which point she told me i should have though of that before i got on, and caught a later bus, or a taxi.

"well im sorry, but hes far too little to be in a taxi without a carseat"
"well you should ahve brought one with you"
"im not going to carry a carseat around the shps with me all day"
"then you should have brought your car"
"i dont drive"
"then why are you talking about a carseat!!"
"MY HUSBAND DRIVES."
"oh."
she shut up then.

the way she shut up the instant i said 'husband' makes me wonder if she had assumed i was an unmarried mother (the horror) and that was cranky-ing her up too. cause later in the journey, the critter was wiggling a little bit and ended up sitting with his hand in her lap, and when i moved his hand away and told him he needed to keep still and keep his hands in his own lap, she said 'oh its ok' and was smiling at him and stuff. i just dont understand. especially since i was wearing my rings. do i really look that young that people jsut assume it without even checking my finger? i will be 25 in less than a month. does the blond hair make me look like a teenager or something?

anyway..... was i being inconsiderate? usually i sit in the sideways seats with the critter on my lap, so we dont take up too much room, but there was just no space on the bus yesterday. there were so mnay school kids sitting up the back... and theres no way im going to let a toddler be thrown around the bus like a ragdoll, which is what would ahve happened if i sat down. as it was i had to lean over with one hand on his chest to stop him being thrown forward and sideways and all over the place. if he was 5, even if he was 4, considereing how tall he is, i would ahve just flat out refused to take the seat and made sure he hung on to me. but hes really still jsut a baby. he must look older than he is, or maybe its just his height.. but people are always surprised when the find out he wont be 3 till september.

it was drilled into me as a child and teenageer, that you give up your seat to someone who needs it more than you, whether it be an elderly person, a pregnant woman, someone with a disability or injury, a woman with a screaming baby... and i try to do this, although it is tempting not to when you have a small child of your own... and when i was at school, we had very strict rules. no school children were allowed to sit on the bus if there were adults standing up. half the time we werent even allowed on the bus, because the driver decided we should wait for our own special school bus. but the fact that this woman expected me to allow my toddler to stand up and be thrown around... i will not do that. i can hold on to the rails, he cannot. he wont even consistently hold on to my hand.



this has all got me very angry, i apologise for any incoherence.