if i didnt know better....

id say i was pregnant again. ive been incredibly cranky, and suddenly i REALLY REALLY want one of those egg sandwiches my mum used to make... boiled egg cut into tiny pieces and mixed up in too much mayonnaise....

i hate eggs. and mayonnaise makes me gag.

but i cant get the memory of those sandwiches out my mind, my nose, my mouth... im salivating just thinking about them. GROSS. the idea of them absolutely disgusts me. but i really really want one.

good thing we dont have mayonnaise in the house or i might be tempted.


in other news, i cant really think of anything.

oh wait. i remember.

i have a job.



ill just wait for a moment while you all pick your jaws up off the floor and/or stop yelling at me for working.



better? thankyou.


i have a job. a little little job. i am... The Invigilator!!

ahem.

about 2 saturdays a month i get up far earlier than i would like, get hubby to drop me off at the station, catch a train into the city and them spend the next 8 hours or so supervising overseas students sitting english language tests, and then marking said tests.

this gives us a little extra money, and gives my boys some time together without Mummy Interference. even though hubby sometimes has to work on saturdays, its only from 8-12, and hes allowed to take the munchkin with him, so they still get to spend time together.

it does make our weekends shorter, and it means i have to trust my man to do the groceries... which is a little hard for me to do, i admit. i write a very detailed list, including what he can buy, if its below a certain price, and which store to get each item from. this would all be a lot easier if my shopping method didnt consist so much of getting everything on the list, and then going up and down the aisles grabbing stuff i know we use regularly, and is currently on special, but wasnt in the catalogue. like toiletpaper, sponges, evaporated milk, tortillas...

anyway, you dont want to know all that. back to my job. i get less than 200$ each day, but this means i make less than the lowest tax bracket, so I DONT PAY TAXES. so all the money comes straight to the family.

and this is where my husband becomes incredibly wonderful all over again.

i am a compulsive saver. he is not. so im in charge of the money. he doesnt even want to know how much we have. but the compulsive saving does have downsides. if i see something in the shops that i like, and even need, but can in any way do without, i wont get it. even if we can afford it. massive 40% off underwear sale, all my underwear has holes in it but still technically not 'falling apart'? wont buy any. 2 for 1 shoe sale and the straps are falling off on my nicest shoes? no new shoes for me!! which is incredibly stupid, because when i empty the washing machine to find all my clothes have disintegrated, and i go to the shops to get new underwear/socks/shirts/whatever, not only will it all invariably be full price, there wont be anything in my size anyway. and when i discover on monday that i have a birthday party on saturday to go to and my only pair of nice brown shoes (because any clothes i own that will go with the black shoes are either too grotty or have since fallen apart) somehow managed to lose a heel in my wardrobe and have been stretched too much to fit me anyway, i will go to every shoe shop i know of, and find that every brown pair in my size has been sold already, unless i want heels so high that i cant walk, but at least ill be able to see clear across the world when i wear them! (i am about 6ft tall. anything bigger than 2 inches makes me look ridiculous.)

not so now that i have this job. because my wonderful, gorgeous, incredibly sweet husband has made a Rule. we have very few Rules, but the ones he has made, i try my hardest to stick to. (1. no new sewing supplies - except to finish current projects - until at least 2 projects have been finished; 2. no new computer games until at least 2 games have been played through to the end; have you guessed my only 2 spending downfalls?) and the new Rule has to do with my pay, and his also, to a lesser extent.

my pay, and any overtime he gets, gets split. half goes straight into the savings account, since its 'extra' money, not accounted for in our budget, and therefor not counted on for buying things like clothes. its pure savings. the other half is PLAY MONEY. we get to do whatever we want with it. subject to the other Rules. so if i see some clothes i really like, or a book ive been eyeing off for a few years, i dont have to worry about spending the money.

and if i decided to put it straight into the savings account and earn interest, thats cool too.

somebody pray for us please?

dad had a heart attack today. probably.

he was taken to hospital in an ambulance because of chest pain that extended into his jaw, apparantly just like the one he had in the states back in 96. the ambo insists it was a heart attack, dad insists it was not a heart attack but "just a little chest pain" and hes in hospital now, being kept overnight, and having an angeogram (sp?) tomorrow.

isnt it great when parents start falling apart?

he was supposed to be having surgery on his shoulder on wednesday, but i imagine thats not going to happen now.


i got a text from his wife at around midday, saying he was having a heart attack and being taken to hospital, but hed been given medication and was in an ambulance. she called me a bit after than to let me know what was happening, but my phone was almost out of battery, and i think she was in the hospital, so i could hardly hear what she was saying. i did find out that he was ok though.

hubby called her when he got home at about 3:30, cause i was a bit.. distressed, and she told him that he'd had blood tests and x-rays, and he thinks she said an EKG, hed been seen by the normal doctor and they were just waiting on his cardiologist to find out if he'd actually had a heart attack. but he was fine, and insists it wasnt a heart attack, and he wants to go home, and NO the hospital is keeping him til tomorrow SO THERE.

when we got home at 5:30 after picking up hubby's phone from work, there was a message on the machine from my sister saying hes having an angeoram (sp?) tomorrow, and shes going to go see him tonight, do i want to go?

YES. she should be here in 20minutes or something.

please pray for us. i need to be calm and accept that things are not as bad as my brain is imagining, and he needs to accept that he might actually have had a heart attack. and peace for everyone in the family. ive been praying like mad, but its not very coherent at the moment.

and more and more

there are now 14. one spent, 2 open, 4 opening, and the rest are still shooting up.


I LOVE MY GARDEN

up up and up

we're up to nine now, with a few more bulbs looking likely. theres a couple with green leafy bits poking out, that might very well split down the middle and start sprouting stalks. but still only one with actually flowers on it. ooooooooooooooh i can hardly wait till they all reach flowering point!!!

the number after 7, and before 9

ive been reading too much terry pratchett...


anyway. more flowers!!! well.. almost. not long now. were up to 8 stalks! one in full bloom, and 7 on the upward path!


in not so happy news, my other little flowers are not doing so well. weve planted some little ground cover flowers between the pavers in from of the BBQ. and its been raining A LOT the past few days.. and i think the poor little things are getting too much water. they look so unhappy. all dried out and brown... we may have to dig them out, put snad and gravel in the bottoms of the holes so they drain, and plant new ones. poor little flowers.

pretty garden!!

there are 4-5 more shoots poking through today. our ratty little flower bed is going to be a mass of pink in the next few days.

i really need to get some more of these. in different colours. we used to have white, and various shades of pink. now theyre all the same pink. i dont know what happened.....

there are naked ladies in my garden

did that get your attention? dont panic. its a type of flower. a lily. and there are at least three there now. im not sure how viable the other bulbs are - theyve been growing in the garden for some 15+ years. if theyre still good, i should have at least 10 by the time they all shoot.


this world that God has created for us never ceases to amaze me. today is wednesday. this years first naked ladies look like this:

on sunday, they looked about like this:

in three days they have gone from barely poking out, to nearly fully opened.

people often ask how we - all us crazy religious people - can believe in God. look at those photos again. how can you not?

does it really make more sense to believe that the entire universe came into existance through the spontaneous combustion of nothing, without the interference of a higher being? of God?

does it really make sense that our world, this earth we live on, is the exact right distance from the sun, at the exact right angle, and spinning at the exact right speed, for life to exist? and as far as we know, no other planet is?

for that matter, does the existence of life really make sense? if the universe came from nothing, how did all the rocks and gases that form all the planets and starts happen? and ignoring that, how did life form out of all that inanimate rock and gas?

next time you eat an apple, look inside. inside that teeny brown seed is everything needed to grow an entire tree. and of course, it makes absolute sense that it happened by pure random chance.

how can i believe in God? a God who created this universe, set our earth at the right distance from the sun, spinning on an angle at the exact right speed for us to have somewhere to live. a God who has packed everything needed to grow a tree into a tiny brown seed. a God who can make a beautiful bunch of flowers grow from a whithered white bulb in less than a week.

how can i believe in such a God?

easily. how can you not?