going to a new church for the first time is rather like the first day of school. VERY rather like, if you, like me, are one of the shyest people on earth. and you are going by yourself. the 4 year old does not count, in this situation, as another person.
luckily, there seem to only be about 50 people in this congregation. which, although incredibly sad, makes it easier for the terrified among us to join in. too many people is overwhelming. and everyone was very, very welcoming.
since we moved back to australia just over 4 years ago, i think i've been to church about... 4 or 5 times. its not that i haven't wanted to, but it gets difficult when you have to go on your own. my husband doesn't like church much, and to make things even MORE difficult, he's catholic, and i'm anglican. so i'm not allowed to take communion at any church he would want to go to, and he wont take communion at any church i want to go to. and i don't drive, so i either need a very close by church, or i need to impose upon his life to take me. luckily, both these have happened.
the church i went to last weekend is about 3 or 4 blocks from my house - easily accessible in nice weather. i walk twice as far to take my son to preschool. and hubby has said he will join me in the walk, or drive me if the weather is too icky. he has no interest in going himself, but thinks it will be good for me and critter.
and the people were wonderful. as i've said, i haven't attended church much in the past few years. the place i used to attend handed out a prayer book and a hymn book upon entry, so i always had everything on hand. this church is very very much smaller, and only hands out the notices. so i was slightly stuck. not to worry! years of church attendance have pretty much seared all the words into my mind. but someone across the aisle nipped over and handed me an open prayer book. on the right page.
i cried that day. i'm hoping it was mostly pregnancy hormones getting to me - i get very excessively weepy. but it was also just so... nice. it felt so GOOD to be in church. it felt amazing.
i'm very disappointed that i cant go this weekend. i made plans months ago that i cant get out of, but next weekend ill be back again. and the weekend after.. and after that.. and after that...
*for the normal among you, the title comes from monty pythons holy grail, burn the witch scene - things that float in water. also among the list is churches.
Friday, 19 September 2008
Friday, 29 August 2008
I just don't know how to help
My husband's mother recently found us on facebook. Really not that hard to do when you know someone's name, is it. And i suppose its a good thing. International phone calls are expensive, even with a phonecard, and this way she can see pictures of everyone too. But.... it does cause some problems.
My husband does not get on terribly well with his family. Especially his mother's side it seems. His fathers side is not so bad, since he hardly has contact with those siblings, and hence nothing to have problems with. His mother, and his siblings through her however... well.
The major thing at the moment is, of course, the baby. She wants to know what it is. Hubby wants to know what it is. I don't. I didn't find out with the last one, and I don't want to find out this time. I told hubby he could find out - I'd stick my fingers in my ears and shout LALALALALALA while he was told - but he said it wouldn't work. He'd end up letting it slip. So we aren't going to find out. He got a message from his mother, and since he was in a bad mood and doesn't get along with her to begin with, he responded in a sarcastic manner. So she called him.
Which is probably a good thing, because its the only time he ever finds out how his father is doing. He had a stroke 2 years ago, and is basically paralyzed. He can talk a bit, and his mind is all there, but he can't move much, and he won't do his physical therapy because it hurts. And his so-called best friend, to whom he signed over power of attorney, has stolen all his money. So they need to cancel that, and now hubby's sister, who isn't his fathers daughter, and has problems of her own, is in charge of expenses.
And yesterday she gave hubby's mother a bunch of money, because hubby's father wants her to be able to come out here and see the baby after its born. He can't afford this. He also wants to send us money to buy something for the kids. He can't afford that either. And now my husband is sad because he is so far away from his father, and he can't do anything. He thinks that if he was there, things would be better. Possibly true. He would have had power of attorney instead of the friend, and his father would still have his money. He's been taking care of his family for years, he knows what to do. But his father still would have had the stroke, and would still be refusing physical therapy. And we would probably be worse off, and hubby would be stressed beyond belief all the time, instead of for a few days after the occasional phonecall or email.
And I just don't know how to help. I don't know what to say, or what to do. He is a long way from his family, and they are hurting, and he is hurting. And my hugs just don't seem to be helping.
My husband does not get on terribly well with his family. Especially his mother's side it seems. His fathers side is not so bad, since he hardly has contact with those siblings, and hence nothing to have problems with. His mother, and his siblings through her however... well.
The major thing at the moment is, of course, the baby. She wants to know what it is. Hubby wants to know what it is. I don't. I didn't find out with the last one, and I don't want to find out this time. I told hubby he could find out - I'd stick my fingers in my ears and shout LALALALALALA while he was told - but he said it wouldn't work. He'd end up letting it slip. So we aren't going to find out. He got a message from his mother, and since he was in a bad mood and doesn't get along with her to begin with, he responded in a sarcastic manner. So she called him.
Which is probably a good thing, because its the only time he ever finds out how his father is doing. He had a stroke 2 years ago, and is basically paralyzed. He can talk a bit, and his mind is all there, but he can't move much, and he won't do his physical therapy because it hurts. And his so-called best friend, to whom he signed over power of attorney, has stolen all his money. So they need to cancel that, and now hubby's sister, who isn't his fathers daughter, and has problems of her own, is in charge of expenses.
And yesterday she gave hubby's mother a bunch of money, because hubby's father wants her to be able to come out here and see the baby after its born. He can't afford this. He also wants to send us money to buy something for the kids. He can't afford that either. And now my husband is sad because he is so far away from his father, and he can't do anything. He thinks that if he was there, things would be better. Possibly true. He would have had power of attorney instead of the friend, and his father would still have his money. He's been taking care of his family for years, he knows what to do. But his father still would have had the stroke, and would still be refusing physical therapy. And we would probably be worse off, and hubby would be stressed beyond belief all the time, instead of for a few days after the occasional phonecall or email.
And I just don't know how to help. I don't know what to say, or what to do. He is a long way from his family, and they are hurting, and he is hurting. And my hugs just don't seem to be helping.
Monday, 18 August 2008
14 weeks and counting
i think im past the worst of it. i HOPE im past the worst of it. i seem to remember things calming down a little at about this point with the last one, so....
the baby appears to ahve moved away from my bladder, which is fantastic. SO fantastic. my cough also seems to be clearing up, so im not gagging as often. and im finally able to eat a little bit of sugar again! that has been difficult. the baby hates sugar. HATES it. even the IDEA of a chocolate makes me feel ill.
but that wasnt the worst of it. the worst appears to be over. provided i eat every few hours.
the nausea this time around hasnt been as bad as it was with the critter. i was almost constantly sick with him, on and off for the whole time. i feel fine most of the time now, unless i dont eat. or i eat something sweet. honey is a no-no. chcolate doesnt even bear thinking about. juice must be diluted, but is tolerated because the taste of water makes me feel even more ill.
but the worst... the worst is over. and you really dont want to know about.
the baby appears to ahve moved away from my bladder, which is fantastic. SO fantastic. my cough also seems to be clearing up, so im not gagging as often. and im finally able to eat a little bit of sugar again! that has been difficult. the baby hates sugar. HATES it. even the IDEA of a chocolate makes me feel ill.
but that wasnt the worst of it. the worst appears to be over. provided i eat every few hours.
the nausea this time around hasnt been as bad as it was with the critter. i was almost constantly sick with him, on and off for the whole time. i feel fine most of the time now, unless i dont eat. or i eat something sweet. honey is a no-no. chcolate doesnt even bear thinking about. juice must be diluted, but is tolerated because the taste of water makes me feel even more ill.
but the worst... the worst is over. and you really dont want to know about.
Friday, 1 August 2008
enough with the green goo already!
everyone in my house is oozing greenish goo. mm.... yummy. even the cat. DELICIOUS!
i have some horrible cold thingy thats trying very hard to descend into my chest - and i think its winning. ive definitely been coughing up blech. hubby has also got whatever i have but since he is A MAN and therefor NOT PREGNANT, he can take wonderful-deliciously-life-saving-cold-and-flu-tablets to ease his suffering, while i have to cope with panadol only. which is helping a lot with the headaches and stiff neck, but not so much with the dripping nose, feverless-fever-type-chills, and coughing.
or with the fact that i still gag every time i cough, and have lost my appetite, so im constantly hungry and constantly feel sick anyway.
and then theres my critterbug, who is reminding us all of why some of his first nicknames were booger, and snotface. because as well as the continually dripping nose, he now has oozing eyes!!! isnt that fun! we have conjunctivitits in my house, and its GREEN. very green. its starting to turn yellow now, after a day of eyedrops, but it was approximately the colour of a daffodil stalk the other day.
and then theres the cat. ok, so i lied, the can isnt oozing green. he's oozing BROWN. one of his eyelids has decided to fold in, and the hair rubs on his eye, irritating it, causing goo to form, and he actually developed an ulcer ON HIS EYE a few weeks ago. that heald, thankfully, but the goo remains, and likely will for the rest of his life. which i dont know how long that will be, since he's 12. but the brown eye goo, it is so much fun. i ADORE stumbling into the kitchen half awake in the morning to make my son breakfast, only to find ive stepped in something cold and slimy - evidence the cat has been shaking his head. i also love it when he refuses to shake his head and i have to pin him down while hubby gets a wet cottonball and wipes the goo out, and then squeezes antibiotic gel in. wouldnt be so hard if was a decent size, but the cat weighs nearly 10kg (20lb) and he is not fat. he is BIG. he can almost look onto the kitchen counter if he stands on his hind legs. 10kg of nothing-but-muscle-cat is hard to pin down, believe me.
im just hoping all the green is gone in a few days and we are left with only the brown. i can cope with the brown - have been coping for over a year. but the green makes us all miserable, and im not in a condition to deal with it.
i have some horrible cold thingy thats trying very hard to descend into my chest - and i think its winning. ive definitely been coughing up blech. hubby has also got whatever i have but since he is A MAN and therefor NOT PREGNANT, he can take wonderful-deliciously-life-saving-cold-and-flu-tablets to ease his suffering, while i have to cope with panadol only. which is helping a lot with the headaches and stiff neck, but not so much with the dripping nose, feverless-fever-type-chills, and coughing.
or with the fact that i still gag every time i cough, and have lost my appetite, so im constantly hungry and constantly feel sick anyway.
and then theres my critterbug, who is reminding us all of why some of his first nicknames were booger, and snotface. because as well as the continually dripping nose, he now has oozing eyes!!! isnt that fun! we have conjunctivitits in my house, and its GREEN. very green. its starting to turn yellow now, after a day of eyedrops, but it was approximately the colour of a daffodil stalk the other day.
and then theres the cat. ok, so i lied, the can isnt oozing green. he's oozing BROWN. one of his eyelids has decided to fold in, and the hair rubs on his eye, irritating it, causing goo to form, and he actually developed an ulcer ON HIS EYE a few weeks ago. that heald, thankfully, but the goo remains, and likely will for the rest of his life. which i dont know how long that will be, since he's 12. but the brown eye goo, it is so much fun. i ADORE stumbling into the kitchen half awake in the morning to make my son breakfast, only to find ive stepped in something cold and slimy - evidence the cat has been shaking his head. i also love it when he refuses to shake his head and i have to pin him down while hubby gets a wet cottonball and wipes the goo out, and then squeezes antibiotic gel in. wouldnt be so hard if was a decent size, but the cat weighs nearly 10kg (20lb) and he is not fat. he is BIG. he can almost look onto the kitchen counter if he stands on his hind legs. 10kg of nothing-but-muscle-cat is hard to pin down, believe me.
im just hoping all the green is gone in a few days and we are left with only the brown. i can cope with the brown - have been coping for over a year. but the green makes us all miserable, and im not in a condition to deal with it.
Monday, 21 July 2008
tired /= fun
im one of those people who needs ridiculously large amounts of sleep in order to function normally. i know all the scientists say we need 8 hours a night. well. thats an average. some people need more, some people need less. sometimes, people might need more one day that another.
me, im in the more category. significantly more.
i can function on 8 hours, if by function you mean "remember to eat, feed the child, use the bathroom, and otherwise sit in a corner all day trying to stay awake" but id really rather not.
generally, i wake up at about 5:30, when hubby gets up to go to work. then i doze until he kisses me goodbye at about 6:15, and i go back to sleep until either my kid or my alarm wakes me up at 7. or, if hes sick, 9ish. so. get up at 7, that means i could stay up till 11pm if i was an 8 hour person. actually, im usually falling asleep by 9:30, and i sometimes have a nap in the afternoon, too. id say i usually get about 9-10 hours of sleep, and sometimes, its not enough.
like now.
apparently, when im pregnant, all my energy goes into growing the baby. and trying to ignore the nausea. ive been sorely neglecting the housework cause i just feel awful all the time, so ive really not been doing much other than sitting and playing with the kid, and im still tired ALL. THE. TIME. ive been trying to convince the boy to have a nap in the afternoons, not necessarily because he needs one, although he usually REALLY REALLY does, but because I need one, and the only time its quiet enough is when hes asleep.
i feel myself falling asleep on the couch in the evenings after we've eaten dinner and we're watching a little bit of TV to unwind before kidlets bath-time. and then i fall asleep AGAIN after his bath in the middle of my favourite shows. i doze at lunch time while i wait for him to eat. i usually get a good nap then, cause it can take him up to an hour to eat a sandwich. i havent even been waking up when hubby gets out of bed in the morning, and am only vaguely aware of him leaving. im awake enough to ask what he'd like for dinner, but its a struggle to remember.
and the prenatal vitamins arent helping either. they make me feel SICK. on the occasional days when i forget to take them, i feel SO much better. so much less nausea. its crazy.
ive just hung out a load of wash, and am waiting for the second to finish so i can hang it out too. and im exhausted. i feel like ive run a a marathon, instead of stood outside for 10 minutes. and itll be worse with the second lot - the first load was all jeans and sweaters, so there wasnt much in it, but this next load is full of socks and underwear and four year old's clothes. ill be out there for ages.
and its still at least 3 hours before i can have a nap.
me, im in the more category. significantly more.
i can function on 8 hours, if by function you mean "remember to eat, feed the child, use the bathroom, and otherwise sit in a corner all day trying to stay awake" but id really rather not.
generally, i wake up at about 5:30, when hubby gets up to go to work. then i doze until he kisses me goodbye at about 6:15, and i go back to sleep until either my kid or my alarm wakes me up at 7. or, if hes sick, 9ish. so. get up at 7, that means i could stay up till 11pm if i was an 8 hour person. actually, im usually falling asleep by 9:30, and i sometimes have a nap in the afternoon, too. id say i usually get about 9-10 hours of sleep, and sometimes, its not enough.
like now.
apparently, when im pregnant, all my energy goes into growing the baby. and trying to ignore the nausea. ive been sorely neglecting the housework cause i just feel awful all the time, so ive really not been doing much other than sitting and playing with the kid, and im still tired ALL. THE. TIME. ive been trying to convince the boy to have a nap in the afternoons, not necessarily because he needs one, although he usually REALLY REALLY does, but because I need one, and the only time its quiet enough is when hes asleep.
i feel myself falling asleep on the couch in the evenings after we've eaten dinner and we're watching a little bit of TV to unwind before kidlets bath-time. and then i fall asleep AGAIN after his bath in the middle of my favourite shows. i doze at lunch time while i wait for him to eat. i usually get a good nap then, cause it can take him up to an hour to eat a sandwich. i havent even been waking up when hubby gets out of bed in the morning, and am only vaguely aware of him leaving. im awake enough to ask what he'd like for dinner, but its a struggle to remember.
and the prenatal vitamins arent helping either. they make me feel SICK. on the occasional days when i forget to take them, i feel SO much better. so much less nausea. its crazy.
ive just hung out a load of wash, and am waiting for the second to finish so i can hang it out too. and im exhausted. i feel like ive run a a marathon, instead of stood outside for 10 minutes. and itll be worse with the second lot - the first load was all jeans and sweaters, so there wasnt much in it, but this next load is full of socks and underwear and four year old's clothes. ill be out there for ages.
and its still at least 3 hours before i can have a nap.
Friday, 18 July 2008
sometimes i want to scream
3 in one day? wow. blogarama today indeed.
anyway, i feel like screaming. im really not sure how to deal with critterbug at the moment.
the fact that im tired and hormonal isnt helping any either.
but why is he so totally incapably of doing ANYTHING he is told? is it just part and parcel of being nearly 4? wow... my baby is nearly 4....
umm.. back to the point...
i am sick and tired of hearing 'why?' every time i ask him to do something. maybe it wouldnt be so annoying if he didnt always use his absolutely MOST whiney voice EVER everytime he asked.
i know they want reasons for everything, but he doesnt listen to the reasons. and when he gets in trouble he shouts at me not to smack him and tries to shield his backside. which is understandable. i didnt much like getting smacked as a kid either. but the blatant disobedience is so frustrating. he has been on the kitchen counter 4 times already today and its just gone midday. the last one earned him a smack. not 2 minutes prior, i told him to get down, and he would get a smack next time he was up there. i would understand if it had been a few hours, but 2 minutes??? honestly. he is trying my patience.
he literally asks why to everything. the best example ever: "whats that?" *pointing at a tree* thats a tree sweetheart. "why?"
*****edited to add:*****
wow... im having a really bad day.
anyway.
do you ever think your child might be defective? wonder if god is looking at an extra brain he has sitting around, wondering where it came from, and certain that if you looked inside your childs head you would find absolutely nothing?
i do.
he's having leftover past for lunch. im having leftover chicken. i make one set of sauce for both, and split it between the chicken and pasta cause hes allergic. ANYWAY. i heated it in the microwave, gave it to him at his table, and said "this is hot. make sure you blow in it before you taste it, and if its still too hot, leave it for a litte while and have a drink." hes a smart kid. he understands this perfectly. usually. not today. he eats a spoonful. "hot" and spits it out. then gets another spoonful IMMEDIATELY, eats it, says "hot" and spits it out. i think he needs a new brain....
anyway, i feel like screaming. im really not sure how to deal with critterbug at the moment.
the fact that im tired and hormonal isnt helping any either.
but why is he so totally incapably of doing ANYTHING he is told? is it just part and parcel of being nearly 4? wow... my baby is nearly 4....
umm.. back to the point...
i am sick and tired of hearing 'why?' every time i ask him to do something. maybe it wouldnt be so annoying if he didnt always use his absolutely MOST whiney voice EVER everytime he asked.
- its time to get your table out so we can have lunch now. "why?" um, because youve been begging for food for the last 4 hours since you ate?
- please shut the door when you come inside, because its cold out there, and i dont want the house to get cold. "why?" because i dont like the house to be cold, and youve been complaining of being cold for the last week!
- please stay out of the kitchen when im cooking because its very hot and youre allergic to chicken and i dont what you to get hurt. "why?" do you WANT to gt hurt?????
- if you climb onto the kitchen counter again, you will get a smack. "why?" because you KNOW you are not allowed up there, because we tell you every day, because it is dangerous and it is not allowed!
- if you torment the cat, he will scratch you, so leave him alone. "why?" because i just said he will scratch you!
- please do not jump on my tummy, because it hurts. "why?" does it hurt when someone steps on your foot? "yes" well it hurts when you jump on my tummy, too. "why?" JUST GO AWAY!!
- i said i would get you a drink in a minute when you stop screaming at me and i dont have hands full of rubbish. if you shout at me again, you will NOT get a drink and you will be sent to your room. "why?" because i asked you to wait and i dont like it when you scream at me! "why?" UGH!!! go to your room so i can pull my hair out in peace!!
i know they want reasons for everything, but he doesnt listen to the reasons. and when he gets in trouble he shouts at me not to smack him and tries to shield his backside. which is understandable. i didnt much like getting smacked as a kid either. but the blatant disobedience is so frustrating. he has been on the kitchen counter 4 times already today and its just gone midday. the last one earned him a smack. not 2 minutes prior, i told him to get down, and he would get a smack next time he was up there. i would understand if it had been a few hours, but 2 minutes??? honestly. he is trying my patience.
he literally asks why to everything. the best example ever: "whats that?" *pointing at a tree* thats a tree sweetheart. "why?"
*****edited to add:*****
wow... im having a really bad day.
anyway.
do you ever think your child might be defective? wonder if god is looking at an extra brain he has sitting around, wondering where it came from, and certain that if you looked inside your childs head you would find absolutely nothing?
i do.
he's having leftover past for lunch. im having leftover chicken. i make one set of sauce for both, and split it between the chicken and pasta cause hes allergic. ANYWAY. i heated it in the microwave, gave it to him at his table, and said "this is hot. make sure you blow in it before you taste it, and if its still too hot, leave it for a litte while and have a drink." hes a smart kid. he understands this perfectly. usually. not today. he eats a spoonful. "hot" and spits it out. then gets another spoonful IMMEDIATELY, eats it, says "hot" and spits it out. i think he needs a new brain....
honestly!!
i know im going to get all sorts of flack for this, and in general i think any form of population control is A Bad Idea and Downright Wrong, but sometimes, i think people should need a licence to have children.
a friend of mine just rang me, on the verge of having a fit, and told me she felt sick. the reason? she was sitting outside a cafe having a cup of coffee and reading a book, and a woman sat down with her two kids. one about 5 or 6, the other a baby. now i dont know if 'baby' means newborn or anything up to about 16months, but either way, this is just wrong. she was holding the baby, and smoking. a cigarette. while holding a baby. she had a baby in one hand, and a lit cigarette in the other.now, pushing a stoller with a baby in it and standing as far back as possible while smoking is bad enough, but HOLDING THE BABY AND SMOKING AT THE SAME TIME????????
some poeple deserve to be smacked.
a friend of mine just rang me, on the verge of having a fit, and told me she felt sick. the reason? she was sitting outside a cafe having a cup of coffee and reading a book, and a woman sat down with her two kids. one about 5 or 6, the other a baby. now i dont know if 'baby' means newborn or anything up to about 16months, but either way, this is just wrong. she was holding the baby, and smoking. a cigarette. while holding a baby. she had a baby in one hand, and a lit cigarette in the other.now, pushing a stoller with a baby in it and standing as far back as possible while smoking is bad enough, but HOLDING THE BABY AND SMOKING AT THE SAME TIME????????
some poeple deserve to be smacked.
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