Thursday, 30 October 2008

and then there were two

no, i havent had the baby. its far too early.

this is about fish. goldfish.

a few months back we bought a goldfish for critterbug, in hopes of.. i dont know. it was hubby's idea. something about responsibilities and hvaing his own pet? blah blah blah. we get a fish. the plan was to get a couple, but the girl in the shop suggested we get one, and if it survived a couple weeks we'd know we had the water right etc and we could get more - cheaper to replace one than many.

so we got a plain old goldfish. i decided he was attempting suicide because he kept trying to jump in the bag we carried him home in, so he was names "jumper". then the next week we got 2 more - a stripy black and orange one - "tiger" - and a sickly looking grey/white/pink/black/splotchy one. i do not find that fish attractive at all. he was named "jim" because treasure planet was critters favourite movie that day.

they lasted a while, and we got two more, along with a bigger tank. a black bug-eyed one named "beetle", and a cute little orange fantail with a black stripe down his back (the reason we got him, it was so CUTE and now its gone. grr) who was named "tank". the kid is unimaginative. he wanted to name the other one "water" or "filter" or "rock".

beetle was the first to go. he started sinking. NOT floating, sinking. hed sit on the bottom of the tank occasionally flipping his tail, only moving if he was prodded. then one day his gills were no longer moving, and he was flushed.

the kid didnt care.

everything was fine for a while, then jumper stated repeating beetles behaviour. with creepy/amusing additions. like getting stuck to the bottom of the filter. we had to turn it off so he would float away. or getting stuck upside down behind the filter. happily lying there upside down behing the filter, unable to more forwards or backwards.. he almost seemed upset when i dismantled the lid to get him out. and then one day he was slowly waving back and forth on the bottom, gills not moving, not responding when prodded with the net. he was HARD to scoop out. kept getting caught in the plants. and hubby wasnt home, and i didnt want to leave the fish in there to go bad, so i had to do it. while trying to keep the kid in the other room. im happy to tell him the fish is dead, but dont want him to SEE it.

the kid was almost excited about the lack of fish. "now we have THREE fish! we had five fish, and then four fish, and now three!! and soon we will have two fish, then one fish, then NONE FISH!!!!!!!!!!!!" should i be worried?

a couple days ago, tiger started acting wierd. he would swim frantically around the bottom of the tank, and when he stopped, he started rolling to the side. he was also still until the light turned on, and seemed unable to get to the top of the tank to eat. he responded to taps on the side of the tank, ut was generally.. wierd. this morning, he was found upside down on the bttom of the tank, not responding to tapping on the tank, or prodding with the net, and his gills were still. i refused to flush another fish, so hubby did it before he left for work.

critter hasnt been told yet. im worried about the response.

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

my kid is weirder than yours PART II

we went to a restaurant last night. a new one, for us. one of hubby's work mates has been raving about it so we tried it out. it was nice. and now, we are not going to eat out ever ever ever again, because we have to save all money possible to pay off the new car as quick as possible (eek! a new car! shiny!!)

husband got far too much steak (which he ate all of anyway), i got a burger, kid got a burger. hubby's steak came with veggies - including broccoli. when kid realised this, his face lit up like a christmas tree. it was hilarious.

so we bribed him.

if he ate an entire half of his burger (we cut it in half so its easier for him to hold and eat), he would get some broccoli.

he ate that burger so fast....


my kid is weirder than yours.

in the end, it all comes down to choice.

there is an addictive streak in my family. my father, now in his 60s, has been smoking since he was in his teens. he's also spent way more money than i could ever imagine on pot (and who knows what else), and my mother is convinced that if she hadnt married him, he would have ended up drinking himself to death. my sister struggled for a while with binge drinking, and over eating. knowing this, i choose not to drink.

i turned 26 in august, and alone among my friends and family, i have never been drunk. i seem to have a fairly high alcohol tolerance, which has helped, im sure. while my friends were getting so smashed they forgot who they were from only one or two drinks (light weights, all of them), the only difference i noticed after 4-5 standard drinks (a mistake - someone bought me a different variant of what i usually drink and it was super strong) is that i was warmer than usual, and i wanted to lean on things. ive only done this once. so, ive been 'tipsy' but not properly drunk (though im sure if i blew into a stick i would have been over the limit). my friends keep insisting i should get drunk, just once, go on, just to see what its like, it wont hurt.

maybe theyre right. it might be fine. i might be fine. but i know theres an addictive streak in my family, and id rather not chance it. what if i liked it? what if i decided to do it again, and again, and again, and slowly it took more and more to get me there.. then i find myself having a drink every night. or 3. and then i cant stop. i choose not to. i choose to have a drink every few weeks if i want one (not now, obviously, because the alco-ma-hol, it is not good for growing sprogs), but not to go out of my way to have one. i choose to limit myself to 2 alcoholic drinks in any given night if i'm out, and often have less.

just in case.

we all have the ability to choose, and we all make choices every day. i chose to wear my boots today, even though i know my ankles/legs are a teensy bit swollen, and the heels make my feet not happy, because my other option was open toed slip ons, and its raining. i chose to wear a slip i knew would make me a bit too hot, rather than let the whole world know what colour undies im wearing because my skirt is a little thin. my son chose to muck about during breakfast time instead of drinking properly, and had his drink taken away. my husband chose to sleep in this morning rather than go for a jog in the rain (good choice, he kept me nice and warm when the cold snap hit).

one of the arguments people make about being gay is that its not a choice - theyre born that way. maybe, maybe not. im not a geneticist, and even they seem divided on the issue. it certainly seems possible - if someones genetic makeup can cause them to have absolutely no pigmentation, or to have some terrible incurable disease, i see no reason why it shouldnt affect their attractions. but even if same-sex attractions are part of their genetic makeup, they dont have to act on them.

my father is addicted to tobacco. so was my husband. my husband chose to quit. he finished the last cigarette in the pack, and stopped. it was hard, theres no denying that. he quit 3 times, and only succeeded the last time. some people need help to quit, some people dont. every day, he chooses not to start smoking again, and some days, its a very hard choice indeed. my father chooses not to quit. he has also tried a couple times, and now chooses to try no longer. every day he chooses to light a cigarette. its his choice, and he makes it. ignoring a same-sex attraction may be harder for some than others, and some may need help, if they choose to ignore it. some might find they fail, like my husband quitting smoking, and have to try again. some may find they fail, and like my father, choose to stop trying.

they say its not a choice, and maybe theyre right. but it is a choice to act on it, and that choice goes against God.

Sunday, 26 October 2008

dude... the family resemblance...

so my mum went over to the states for a family reunion earlier this year, and she brought back with her a bunch of old family photos, and (and this is SOOO adorable) some letters her grandfather wrote to her grandmother (so.. my great-grandfather and great-grandmother?) when they were courting. SO CUTE. every letter is addressed to "my dear girlie", and talks about what he's been doing the past few days and how much he misses her. its awfully cute. apparantly, he met her at a dance, and asked her to be his date to the next one.. she agreed - on the condition he shave off his moustache!!

the pictures are amazing. as well as some photocopies, theres a CD with over 300 images on it, going back to 1910 (possibly earlier, most photos are undated), and into the early 80s (im not entirely sure how old my cousins are, but there are images of them as small children, so it cant be past 1985).

i think at some point im going to post some more of the pictures, just for the wow factor, but ill say this right now - i can tell which of the men i'm related to, because they all have the EXACT same ears as my grandad. and boy oh boy am i glad my critter didnt inherit those ears. (thats my great-grandfather in the middle. see the ears? on all of them? ALL the men in that family have those ears. ALL OF THEM.)


Saturday, 25 October 2008

my brain is going into overdrive

im considering going into hiding for a little while.

complete hiding. my husband should be home from work in a half hour or so (possibly. he may ahve to work later. who knows?) and im so very very tempted to 'go sit outside' for a bit when he gets here, and just sneak round the side of the house and walk away.

aiden is not being very good today. he keeps playing in the ONE patch of dirt that the cat uses as a toilet, even after being told (do you want to play with the cat poo? no? then stay out of the dirt). he's made a mess of the bathroom trying to clean off one of his toys that got dirty (yay for trying to clean it, not so yay for hiding it all from me, and LYING about how it got dirty - playing in the cat's toilet), he wont leave the cat alone, he wont sit still and eat - keeps sliding off his chair onto the floor and flopping from side to side - and upon being told "aiden lee. for the last time, sit still and eat or i will take your food away" he responded with this: "you dont tell me what to do mum. i can do this." which earned him a right wolloping (more than he would otherwise have got because he screamed at me, tried to hit me, and wouldnt move his hands away) and he is now locked in his bedroom. im going to check on him in a few minutes and make him go to the toilet so i dont have to deal with a wet floor and clothes on top of everything else.

im beginning to wonder why i ever wanted another one. and i dont know if everything seems extra bad today because i didnt sleep last night, because the kid is not well (yay months and months of snuffles that are turning into a chesty cough), or becasue depression has decided to kick in early. all i know at this point is i do not want to be here.

i do not want to be ordered around by a 4 year old. i do not want to have to yell 15 million times to get him to take less than an hour to eat one piece of toast. i do not want to be pregnant. i do not want to be in this house. i do not want to be with my husband.

i want to be alone, a long long way away where i do not have to deal with any of this and nobody cares what i do.

Friday, 24 October 2008

i need to stop reading the technology and health sections

this makes me sick.

this is mean, but they do have a point.

this... i cant figure out how that works.

and this.. well. im sure in a few years there will be a 'trend' in the opposite direction.

im sorry.... what??? (and on a related note.. people are weird)

and why???

and are you joking?? yetis?

and seriously? huh? wha? STEAK???????????????????

oooooooooooooh what have i done

well its not that bad really i suppose.

last night, for the first time since.. im not sure.. about january i think.. i ate....... a burger from oporto. and i feel awful about it. and it tasted sooooooooooooo good. ive had the 1/4 chicken a couple times. rip it up and have in in a quesadilla or something.. but the burger.. mmm....


i decided to give up fast food, and try to avoid the kid having it too. subway does not count. but we cut out maccas (mainly him) and oporto (entirely me, since he's allergic to chicken) and other than the occasional chip whe someone else was eating it, i was determined to stick to it.

in actual fact i gave in a couple months back. there was nothing else to eat, and i was soooooooo hungry, and if i get hungry when im pregnant, i start feeling sick beyond belief, so i gave in and had mcnuggets.. and they tasted good. very good. and ive had them a few more times since. but nowhere near the amount we used to eat.

but the burger last night.. oh man. i just KNOW im going to be craving oporto from now on.

must be strong.

sproglet needs real food.




at least its better than a bigmac.

Sunday, 19 October 2008

well that was a weekend and a half

yesterday we went to the car show. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny. shiny shiny shiny cars. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINY.

hubby is (more than) slightly disturbed by the white ferarri. aparantly they are only allowed to come in yellow and red.

i fell in love with the old cars. like the stuff from 1928.mmmmmmm. pretty.

critter just wanted to see roary the racing car. which we couldnt actually find.


we did have a look at various cars, to see if we're interested in getting one. the astra is just a little too small for two adults and two car seats. and it hates us. the brakes suck, and the engine keeps wanting to die. so a new car is in order before sproglet #2 turns up. the question is just what.


then today we went over to the eastern suburbs to spend some day at the park with dad at the sukkot festival. and the kid ran ALL DAY.

and he doesnt like fairy floss. excuse me? obviously i grew him wrong. maybe i'll do a better job with this one.

now, my feet hurt from walking around the car show yesterday, and i think i'm sunburnt.
but it was fun. and the kid was happy. and everything is good.

now if only i could get him to stop throwing dirt all over himself....

Friday, 17 October 2008

am i ever glad thats over.

well this morning i had the dreaded blood test. FUN. one vial, drink goo, wait an hour, another vial, wait another hour, 3rd vial, EAT. i was sooo hungry by the end of it. i had dinner at about 7 last night, and between then and the beginning of the test around 8:30, i had 1 glass of water. and then i didnt get to eat till around 11ish after getting to the shops from the pathology lab.

and THEN, the kid had to have his 4 year immunisations. one in each arm. oh the screaming. and the crying. and the big brave boy. but he got jelly beans. so he wasnt too bad. and then we went to the chemist so i could get myself some bandaids that will hopefully stick for longer than 10minutes (i have bandaid repellent skin. bandaid brand usually works, everything else falls off really quick), so i got him some chocolate to cheer him up, and got myself some too.... now i have to keep an eye on him for fever and rashes and blah blah blah. he seems ok at the moment though.

and now im watching sinbad for the zillionth time.

i will be glad when today is over.

tomorrow we get to go to a car show.

that will be INFINITELY better than three bloodtests and two injections. and the zillionth viewing of sinbad.

all the pretty cars..... that we will never be able to afford.

but so preeeeeeeeeeeettyyyyyyyyyyyy...

Thursday, 16 October 2008

um.. what?

can someone explain this sentance for me please?

"thats what i do all the time and sometimes i dont."


has my brain not turned on yet this morning, or is my son really just not making sense?

being a parent changes everything

i went to the movies yesterday with my sister. it was her day off, and critter was in preschool, so we decded to go do something. she also gave me a lift to the hospital so i could book my bed for when the baby is born. i now have the phone numer for the delivery ward for whenever this little sproglet decides to turn up - hopefully not until february.

anyway. back to the movies.

there doesnt seem to be an awful lot out at the moment, so we decided to go see the duchess. im not a huge keira knightley fan, but the pretty dresses and historical content far outweighed her eyebrows and lips.

i think i liked it. there were some bits i kinda looked around the room and hummed to myself during, but generally i liked it. except one thing.

it made me cry.

my sister turned to be incredulously after the movie and said 'were you crying??' well yes actually. im pregnant, and therefor full of hormones, and im a mother. i defy any woman with children not to be horrified at the situation this woman was put in.



**SLIGHT SPOILERS**









can you imagine being told "you must do XYZ or you will never see your children again"? all i could think about was someone taking away my critter and spaceghost. i would do anything to get them back. ANYTHING. i went through a few tissues in that theater.


being a parent changes EVERYTHING.

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

im sooooooooooooooooo tired

aaaaaaaaaaand now i have a beatles song in my head as well.

i really am tired of this. SO tired. its driving me crazy. what you ask? TOILET TRAINING. STILL. at 4.

wetting the bed at night is annoying, but i can deal with it. i just have to remember to wake him up sometime after 9:30 to go to the toilet. its wetting his pants during the day that bothers me.

he doesnt do it at preschool. he doesnt do it at grandma's house, or aunty's house. he doesnt do it if we're at the shops. he only does it at home. he sits there and wets his pants, and does nothing. or comes and tells me he's wet his pants. and then does nothing. just stands there. (he also does this if he needs to go - comes and tels me he needs to go, then just stands there instead of actually GOING. is it too late to swap him for a new one?) he doesnt need to tell me!! just go to the loo already!!

i just dont get it. why doesnt he go to the toilet? why does he wet his pants and do nothing? does he not realise until its too late? its driving me bonkers.

and i dont know what to do, how to help, how to get him doing things right.



and now im getting distracted because spaceghost is kicking the computer and it feels really weird.

can i just say..

after watching the first couple episodes of Buffy today (got the whole box set for christmas and im just now getting round to watching it), and Bones last night, david boreanz looks VERY DIFFERENT. its almost creepy was 10 years will do to someone.

that is all.


wait no its not. according to the doctor's scales, i have gained a mere 3-4kg (7-9lb) in 22 weeks of pregnancy. HELLO. now if i can just arrange to lose 11kg (24lb) in the first week after the baby is born like i did last time, and avoid excessive gain in the mean time, i'll be doing fine!!

go go SUPERCARB!!!!!

on friday, i have to have a blood test done. a glucose tolerance test, to be exact. no eating or drinking from midnight, test at 8:30am, and im guessing its going to be one of those 'drink this sugary goo and wait an hour for another test' ones. all to check f i have gestational diabetes, i think.

i dont know why this time i have to do a different test than i did last time...

last time it was just drink the goo and take the blood. this time, i have to eat a ridiculously carb filled diet for 3 days before i take the test. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY. why arent i doing the same test i did last pregnancy? the same test all the other women in the hospital seem to be doing? i have an appointment with my doctor this afternoon, and i'll ask her then. it just seems a bit.. odd. maybe its because my pre-pregnancy weight was higher this time round so im already at more risk? i dont know. i dont get it.

but anyway. the diet.

im not sure how im going to be able to do it. i have to have 11 serves of carb each day, for three days. thats about 5 more than i currently have, since vegetables, fruit, and fruit juice count. I DONT KNOW HOW I CAN EAT THAT MUCH. not that much carb, necessarily, but that much food. unless i decide to drink juice all day instead of water. that will help.

or maybe i can have a bread sandwich - bread between two slices of bread, instead of cheese or ham, or vegemite etc. its a bit boring, but i can shake it up a little and put raisin toast between two slices of wholemeal for the taste difference. or maybe bread cut up small and wrapped in a tortilla. or a cereal sandwich. crunch crunch. (actually.. thats reminded me of something delicious.. sultana-bran in cheese on toast.. put plastic cheese - processed cheese slices of some sort - on a piece of bread, and put it under the grill til it starts to bubble up and go crispy. then poke a hole in it and fill with sultana bran. yum.... i think i know what im having for lunch.....)

i can leave the meat out of dinner and have bread instead. bread, potatoes/rice and veg, instead of lamb/beef/chicken, potatoes/rice and veg. with orange juice instead of milk. hey! i can use orange juice on my cereal in the mornings instead of milk! i can use orange juice in my pasta sauce instead of cream! and bread chunks instead of bacon and mushrooms.


im making a big dish of potato bake tonight, and will try to force down as much as possible, and then have more tomorrow.. and i'll make sure and eat extra carrots with dinner. but oh man.. i am going to be so FULL. i just dont eat that much. which is probably why at 22 1/2 weeks, ive gained probably around 5kg. and most of that in the last 4 weeks.

any other suggestions for stuffing myself full of carbs without getting so full i feel sick? cause even with all these appetizing ideas ive come up with, i dont think i reach a total of 11.

Monday, 13 October 2008

the human body never ceases to fascinate me

seriously. its just so.. fascinating. and weird.

i'm a fairly hairy person. not werewolfy by any means, but theres a fair amount of hair on this ever so pasty body. thing is, its all different colours. the hair on my head is a sort of dark-blond/slightly-yellowy-light-brown, generally referred to as 'fair'. my eyebrows are nearly black. my legs are super hairy, but its almost white. i wont go into details about the rest of me, but you get the idea. ive always thought it was odd...

my husband is also hairy. (side note: totally smooth and hairless guys like you see in movies and on ads are creepy. men should be hairy. thats how we know theyre men and not boys.) but unlike me, he is covered head to toe in black hair. its all the same. head, black. legs, black. chest, black. EXCEPT: his beard. there is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much ginger in his beard it looks almost mid brown, and makes him look as if he's dyed his hair black. how does that happen?

im curious about my munchkin. his hair is about the same colour as mine, so he'll probably end up quite dark when he's older.. but will his body hair pattern follow me, or his dad? will he be a monotonous dark brown? or will he be a veritable rainbow of different hair colours?

he's got his father's skin. he's only 4 years old, and he's already darker than me, despite starting out just as pasty. hes got the milkman's eyes. (seriously.. where did the black come from??) he could have either of our hairiness.. since we're both hairy. and hes already proving to be hairy.

the human body is amazing and fascinating. the way it works, the way its put together. the infinite possibilities...

the God who has created it all is totally awesome.

Saturday, 11 October 2008

my baby, he grows up too fast

i went to work today. it was good, but tiring.

but thats not the point.

the point is, while i was at work, my two boys got to spend time together. hubby took critter to work with him, then they went out to lunch, and then they went to the shops. and he texted me about all the things my not-so-baby-boy was doing.

apparently, as well as reading, he can do simple addition.

"daddy, you have 2 forks, and 1 knife, so thats three."

he also seems to be going through a growth spurt. i cant even begin to get my head around how much he ate today.

who snuck round behind my back and replaced my sweet little munchkin who loves giving people 'cuggies' with a big happy boy who wants to play in the dirt? well God obviously.. but still. i miss my baby. i know i'll have another one soon enough, a BABY baby, but i miss my critterbug.

i love how grown up he is when he promises to take care of me, and helps me around the house, but i miss those toothless smiles and drooly kisses, and i miss him falling asleep on my lap. he looks so grown up with his hat and his backpack when we go to preschool, and i know my heart will burst when he actually starts school, and i see him standing there in his uniform.

i kinda miss the man i married too, although im totally in love with my husband. but we've grown up so much in the last 4 years, we arent really the same people. i miss the long hair, i miss the freedom. i miss the time alone.

im sure he misses the old me a little too. the sarah that wasnt totally pre-occupied with what the kid is doing, the un-stretchmarked body. but i know he loves me just as i am. i look in the mirror and see stretchmarks and sag. he sees a beautiful wife.

hopefully his perception wont change now that he wears glasses :D

Friday, 10 October 2008

and more downs

down: waking up after a VERY MUCH NEEDED NAP because of ONLY 5 HOURS OF SLEEP, to find the critter is crying.

down: when he cries even louder when i ask him whats wrong.

down: numerous times.

down: many numerous.

down: being told after 15 minutes of crying that his bed is wet. couldnt have told me this the first 10 times i asked because......? (im not upset that his bed was wet. i should have made him go to the bathroom before his nap. im upset that he wouldnt tell me when i asked.)

down: discovering my deodorant has decided to make me stink, instead of stopping me from stinking.

down:from this morning: discovering i forgot to write swiss cheese on the grocery list, and now we have none. no cheese and vegemite sandwiches for me.

down: the amount of dishes i have to put away after a truly delicious roast dinner last night.

a day of up and downs

because so far, theres only been one up.


down: waking up at 3:30am because i need to pee, and finding the critter is coughing so hard he was almost gagging.

down: turning on the light in the kitchen to get medicine for the kid and BEING BLINDED.

down: tripping over EVERYTHING in the bedroom on the way back to bed because I WAS BLINDED.

down: not getting back to sleep til 5:30 (lying in bed for two hours trying to sleep? NOT FUN), at which time hubby's alarm goes off and wakes me up again.

down: getting up at 7:18am to make breakfast for critter/lunch for hubby and finding there is a headache the size of australia building in my left eyeball. not behind it, IN IT.

down: critter whinging through the entire half hour it took him to eat two slices of toast, because he wasnt allowed to watch tv.

down: ditto his milk.

down: "in the night garden".

down: realising my typing skills become even worse with lack of sleep.

down: kid whinging because lunch does NOT happen less than two hours after breakfast, and stomping will get you sent to your room.

down: incessant wailing because the ties that hold a pice of cardboard to the front of his bike have come off. truly, it is the end of the world.

down: the broken toys in the kids room that repeat the same three not-same three not-same three not-same three not-same three notes FOR EVER.

up: 4 year old reads his first word. s-t-o-p. st-o-p. st-op. stop!!!!

down: another wail, from the bathroom because he has somehow managed to drop his toy horse down the toilet. seriously.... why is it in the bathroom?

down: that darn alphabet caterpillar. and his inability not to push the same button 15 times a second. seriously.. cant you let it play to the end before pushing it again? its as bad as the broken toys.

down: yet more wailing because pulling the darn alphabet caterpillar off the table will make it fall on your foot, and that hurts!

down: and yet more wailing when mummy says you should have been paying attention and not pulling things off the table.

and its only 1:30.

a letter to a spaceghost

my dear squirmy little baby. you have no idea how glad i am that you have finally decided to move enough for me to feel you. for daddy to feel you. truly, i thought my heart was going to burst when i felt you go wild in there and realised you were ok. but honestly? the rolling? its creepy.

i love the kicks, or punches, or headbutts, or whatever they are, though i realise i wont in a few months when your feet reside inside my ribcage like your brothers did, or you try to break my pelvis with your head - you cant do that you know. i have very strong bones, and yours are soft and rubbery. it. wont. work.

i love the weird little jumps, though i know that regular hic-coughs will drive me nuts when they start jiggling my bladder.

but when it feels like someone is rolling a ball from one side of my stomach to the other from the inside, its creepy. it feels like theres an alien inside trying to get out. THAT IS NOT THE EXIT, AND YOU ARE NOT COOKED YET.

you will know when you're cooked. you wont be able to move cause youll be too squashed. but youll try anyway, and ill wonder when oh when will this all be over? then my body will take over and you will be expelled, and i will hold you and love you and you will most likely squeak like your brother did.

i love you little spaceghost, more and more every day, but i would appreciate it if you would restrict yourself to kicks and jumps. the rolls... i do not like the rolls. and will like them less when you get strong enough to make it visible.

all my love,
mummy

Thursday, 9 October 2008

working women

Mrs Anna T had a post the other day about maternity leave, its 'damage' of womens careers, and the strain put on employers while their women workers are off having babies. ive been reading a lot about maternity leave lately - it seems to be being debated over here at the moment, how much should we get, should it be up to the govt. or the employer, how much other countries have, all that stuff. and to be honest, its all making my brain hurt.

if a woman chooses to, or needs to work, and has a child, she should not have to live in fear that the job will not be available when she returns. but, paying her wages and wages for a replacement during her time off, could put a huge strain on her employer, especially if its a small business. so maybe the 'unpaid' maternity leave we currently have is the way to go. she doesnt get any money, but has a guarantee her job will be available if she returns to work within a year. the guarantee part is great, but if she's working because she NEEDS to, rather than because she WANTS to, she'll have to return to work far far before she and her baby are ready, because otherwise they have no money.

i see no solution. people take enough advantage of government handouts as it is; a government funded maternity leave is not the answer. it really all makes my brain hurt, and im simply glad to be in a situation where i do not currently need to work.

unfortunately its not just the maternity leave predicament. there is a young woman who works at my husband's company and is being paid the same amount as anyone else there - as she should, except for one thing. she does half the work. they work in a warehouse, and it involves lifting and carrying and all that fun stuff. part of the employment process is a 'test' to make sure the prospective employee can lift a certain weight. which she didnt do. and now asks the rest of the people there to put aside their own work to carry the things she cant lift. or do things she simply wont learn how to do.

but, if her bosses were to fire her now, there would be an outcry about sexual discrimination. never mind that she IS NOT DOING HER JOB, she should be employed anyway! they gave her a job, now they have to keep her in her job.

i have no problem with women working. when all my kids are at school, i expect i will have some sort of job. something with flexible hours so i can collect them and/or drop them off, depending on hubby's hours, and have time for cooking and cleaning and all that. what i DO have a problem with is women taking advantage. if the job involves something you cant do, find something else. a 5ft tall woman is not going to be able to lift the same amount as a 6ft tall man. hey, a 6ft tall woman most likely cant lift as much as a 6ft tall man.

i'm only about an inch shorter than my husband and i KNOW i cant lift what he can. i might be smarter than him, though he has yet to convince me of that, but our bodies are built differently. he has a broad back and shoulders, and strong arms. he can lift and carry rather heavy things. like me. i have ridiculously strong legs, and big hips - im built to carry different things. like babies. my arms simply do not have the strength to carry heavy things. i cannot do the work he does. and he cannot do many of the things i do. (people can go on and on all they want about men and women being 'the same' or 'equal' but we are not the same. we are built very differently.)

there are women who work hard to have his kind of strength. they can do his job. and theres no reason why they shouldnt. but when a woman doesnt have the skills or strength to do a certain job, she shouldnt. she should find something she can do easily, something she can do well, something she can do better than someone else, and do that. leave the messy sweaty stuff for the boys. its yucky anyway.

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

bugs and stuff

i was going through my camera looking for good pictures of critter for my last post, and i found a whole bunch of pictures ive taken since march, which came out really well. and arent of the boy.

there were HEAPS. i have over 900 photos in my camera folder on my computer, but these were the ones i liked the best.

and when i say i took them, i mean we took them. some of them were taken by me, and some were taken by my husband. (not the bugs. those are all mine.) but he insists i take all the credit for growing babies, even though OBVIOUSLY he was involved at some point, and i figure if i can all the credit for something as amazing as growing a human, why not something as simple as pushing a button?

note: i cant be bothered to re-open photoshop, so these photos are all as is. no cropping, no sharpening, no colour adjustments. these are exactly as they appeared when they were taken. at some point ill probably fix them up, but not right now.



my step-mother's garden in hornsby










this was to show how small the spider was... thats my finger.


featherdale wildlife park















the blue mountains





sydney aquarium





sydney wildlife world





taronga zoo





and one of our enormous cat, taken by my 4 year old. hes very good at taking pictures.

my big big boy

***apologies in advance: im very tired, and baby brain seems to be kicking in early, so you'll just have to deal with my spelling and grammar mistakes. i wont even see them.***



critterbug turned 4 last week. i can hardly believe it. it seems like only yesterday i was lying in a hospital bed, weak from blood loss and sheer exhaustion, trying to stay awake so i could watch this tiny squeaking thing lying next to me.

and now he is four.

he weighs 16kg, and is 106cm tall. we live in an old house - 1920s ish i think - with high ceilings, high door knobs, and high light switches. he can turn on the lights on his own, and can nearly reach the door knobs. he can climb into the bath on his own, with the help of his step, although he has trouble climbing out. this is big help for me, because the bathtub is also quite high - old fashioned clawfoot - and being pregnant makes my already weak and loose joints completely fall to pieces. i can hardly lift the washing basket, let alone a squirming 4 year old anxious to have his bath.

he helps me put away the clean dishes. everything except the knives, because theyre too sharp, and the glasses, because he cant reach. he puts away his own clothes, although the concept of folding escapes him, and he helps me sort mummy and daddy's washing so i can put it away quickly. he hands me the clothes, one piece at a time, with appropriate number of pegs, when we hang out the laundry. he collects the mail from our letterbox.

and he hugs me, and pats me on the shoulder, when im having a hormonal-pregnant-im-fat-and-ugly-and-none-of-my-clothes-fit-and-my-hair-is-hideous-day, and tells me "everything will be alright mummy, i promise. i'll look after you."

and everything is better when those skinny little arms wrap around me, and those enormous dark eyes smile at me.

and sometimes its easy to forget that he is still very small. until he falls asleep in the middle dinner.

or screams when he turns around at the aquarium to be confronted by a truly huge stingray.